Feeling anger toward a student who lies at home

Anonymous

Beloved of All
The student lies at home in order to not come to school, no matter how kind and patient I am for my class, there’s a student that makes it difficult for their parents and teacher by refusing to come to school and lies to parents to get his teacher in trouble, I was trying to bless and love my student but I get this anger rising inside of me please pray for this situation in Jesus name I pray amen
 
We hear your heart and we join with you in bringing this difficult situation before the Lord, for He sees both your kindness and patience and the struggle you are facing with this student.

It is understandable that anger would rise within you when you have sought to bless and love your student and yet are met with deception that causes trouble for you and for his parents. Scripture tells us Be angry, and don't sin. Don't let the sun go down on your wrath, neither give place to the devil Ephesians 4:26-27. Anger itself can be a signal that something is wrong and needs to be brought to God, but we are called not to let it take root or lead us into sin. We are reminded Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for the anger of man doesn't produce the righteousness of God James 1:19-20. The Lord does not condemn you for feeling this anger, but He invites you to release it to Him quickly so that it does not become bitterness.

We also recognize the seriousness of the student's actions. Lying lips are an abomination to Yahweh, but those who do the truth are his delight Proverbs 12:22. When a child lies at home to avoid school and bears false witness to get his teacher in trouble, it not only dishonors his parents and his teacher but grieves the Lord who loves truth. We pray that God will work in his heart to convict him of this and to give him a love for truth and a respect for authority.

We encourage you to continue to clothe yourself with what God has given you as His chosen one, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, humility, and perseverance Colossians 3:12. Your patience and kindness are not in vain even when they seem unreturned. Let us not be weary in doing good, for we will reap in due season, if we don't give up Galatians 6:9. We also encourage you to walk in both grace and truth with the parents, communicating openly and gently, documenting faithfully what happens at school, and seeking wisdom from the Lord for each interaction. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good Romans 12:21.

We lift you, this student, and his parents together in prayer.

Father, in the name of Jesus we come before Your throne of grace and we thank You for this teacher's tender heart that desires to bless and love this child even in difficulty. We ask You to wash away the anger that is rising inside and to replace it with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Fill our dear fellow servant with Your patience, wisdom, and discernment, and guard his heart from discouragement. We pray for this student, Lord, that You would soften his heart, reveal to him the sin of lying, and draw him to walk in truth and obedience. Help him to honor his parents and to respect his teacher as You command children to obey their parents in the Lord Ephesians 6:1. We pray for his parents, that You would give them eyes to see the truth, wisdom to guide their son with loving discipline, and unity with his teacher for his good. Let Your truth and Your love reign in that home and in that classroom, and let this trial produce perseverance and character that glorifies You. We ask all this in the mighty and precious name of Jesus, our only mediator and Savior, amen.
 
We are grateful you shared this honestly. Wanting to bless and love your student while feeling anger rise is a hard tension to carry, and it makes sense you feel it. You have been kind and patient, and when a student refuses school and twists the story at home, it can feel like your care and integrity are being dismissed.

What helps us is remembering anger often works like a signal. It points to something underneath, usually hurt, frustration, or fear, and to something we value that feels threatened. In your case it may be frustration that your efforts are not reaching him, hurt at being misrepresented, and concern for his wellbeing and for your relationship with his parents. Noticing that underlying signal can keep the energy of anger from taking over our thoughts or actions.

One small practice that helps many teachers is to pause when you feel that rise. Step aside for a minute if you can, name quietly to yourself and to the Lord what feels most stirred up, and ask Him to help you choose a calm next step rather than react in the moment. It can also help to talk through the pattern with a trusted colleague or administrator, not to vent, but to get perspective on clear, kind communication with the parents and on keeping a simple record of what happens at school.

We are praying for you and for this student and his family.

Father, we lift this teacher to You and ask for Your peace and wisdom day by day. Guard his heart from bitterness, give him steady patience and clarity with this student and parents, and work in this young man's heart to value truth and to come to school. Help all involved to know Your care. In Jesus' name, amen.
 
The trial you describe is one that tries patience to the utmost, and the Lord sees both your desire to bless and love this child and the anger which rises within you when kindness seems to be returned with untruth. It is no small thing to stand before a class with a loving heart and to find your labour hindered by a child who refuses to come to school and who speaks what is false at home to bring trouble upon you. The Lord knows the weariness of such a burden.

You do well to bring this anger into the light before Him rather than to let it harden within. Remember that between the true believer and Christ there is a living, loving, lasting union, and it is from that union that patience must flow. If there was anything that could equal the industry of faithful service, it is the heroism of patience, to bear with fortitude what is hard to bear and still to serve Christ with enthusiasm. You have sought to overcome evil with good, and that is the very art which saints must learn. Look to the Lord Jesus Christ for all things in this matter, give Him credit for loving you and caring for you, and submit to His will even in this vexing provocation, saying, I will not distrust You, my Lord.

Think also of the marvelous loving kindness of God toward you, that He has forgiven your own iniquities and still crowns you with loving kindness and tender mercies, and ask Him to show that same marvelous loving kindness through you. He wounds that He may heal and He is long suffering toward the wayward, and He can teach a young heart to love truth and to honour both parent and teacher.

Let us pray together. O Father, show Your marvelous loving kindness to Your servant who labours in this classroom. Quicken within a living and loving union with Christ, that patience may have its perfect work and anger may be subdued by grace. Grant wisdom to speak the truth in love, to be firm and gentle, and to overcome evil with good. Work in the heart of this student, take away the love of falsehood, give a spirit of truthfulness and obedience, and bring peace to the home and to the school. Let both teacher and child know Your presence going with them, for without it we cannot go up hence. Keep this teacher from discouragement and make this trial to be for good to all concerned. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, who is our familiar Friend and our only hope. Amen.
 

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