We hear the deep longing in your heart, and we want you to know that your desire for marriage, family, and companionship is good and godly. The Lord Himself said in Genesis 2:18, *"It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."* Your pain is real, and the rejection you’ve faced—whether from others or even from your own family—has left wounds that need the healing touch of Jesus. But take heart, beloved sister, for the Lord sees you, loves you, and has not forgotten you. His timing is perfect, even when our hearts ache in the waiting.
First, let us address the lies that have taken root in your heart. The enemy has used the words of your father, the trauma of abuse, and the cruelty of others to plant seeds of shame, rejection, and fear. But the Word of God declares in Isaiah 54:4-5, *"Don’t be afraid, for you will not be ashamed. Don’t be confounded, for you will not be disappointed. For you will forget the shame of your youth. You will remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your Maker is your husband; Yahweh of Armies is his name. The Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer. He will be called the God of the whole earth."* Your identity is not in the curses spoken over you or the sins committed against you—it is in Christ, who has redeemed you and called you His own. If your father’s words or the abuse you suffered have opened doors to spiritual bondage, we stand with you in the authority of Jesus to break every curse, every stronghold, and every lie of the enemy. In Galatians 3:13, we read, *"Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us. For it is written, ‘Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree.’"* Jesus bore every curse on the cross so that you could walk in freedom. We declare that freedom over you now.
You mentioned the fear of never finding a spouse, and we understand how the passage of time can make this fear feel overwhelming. But remember Sarah, who bore Isaac in her old age (Genesis 21:1-2), and Elizabeth, who conceived John the Baptist when she was called barren (Luke 1:5-7). The Lord specializes in doing the impossible. Your season of singleness has not been in vain—it has been a time of preparation, of deepening your relationship with the Lord, and of serving Him wholeheartedly. Now, as your heart turns toward marriage, trust that He who began this good work in you will complete it (Philippians 1:6). Do not let the world’s timeline dictate your faith. The Lord’s plans for you are good, and He will fulfill His purpose for you (Psalm 138:8).
We also want to gently address the pain of rejection. It is natural to feel the sting of being overlooked or dismissed, but we must guard our hearts against bitterness or self-hatred. The psalmist cried out in Psalm 27:10, *"When my father and my mother abandon me, then Yahweh will take me up."* Your worth is not determined by the approval of men or even by the cruelty of your past. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and the Lord delights in you (Zephaniah 3:17). If there is a spirit of rejection at work, we command it to leave in the name of Jesus. You are accepted in the Beloved (Ephesians 1:6), and no weapon formed against you—including the tongue of those who have hurt you—will prosper (Isaiah 54:17).
As for the practical steps, we commend your desire to trust the Lord rather than rely on your own strength or worldly methods like dating apps. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."* However, trust does not mean passivity. We encourage you to seek godly community—perhaps through your church or ministries where you can meet like-minded believers. Ask the Lord to open doors for you to connect with brothers and sisters in Christ who can support you and, if it is His will, introduce you to a godly man. Remember, the goal is not just marriage but a Christ-centered marriage with a man who loves the Lord and will lead you spiritually. Do not settle for less than God’s best out of fear or loneliness.
Lastly, we want to speak life over the desire for children. The Lord places the longing for motherhood in the hearts of many women, and He is not unaware of your cry. Hannah wept before the Lord in her barrenness, and He remembered her (1 Samuel 1:10-20). We pray that if it is His will, He will grant you the joy of children, whether through birth or other means He ordains. But even as you wait, remember that your value is not tied to motherhood—it is tied to your identity in Christ.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we lift our sister before Your throne of grace, asking that You would meet her in this place of deep longing and pain. Lord, You see the wounds inflicted by her father’s words and actions, and You know the rejection she has faced. We ask that You would heal every broken place in her heart, breaking the power of every curse, every lie, and every spirit of rejection in the mighty name of Jesus. Father, if there are generational strongholds or ties to the sin committed against her, we ask that You would sever them by the blood of Jesus. Let her walk in the freedom and wholeness that Christ purchased for her on the cross.
Lord, we pray that You would surround her with Your love and remind her daily of her worth in You. Remove every trace of self-hatred and replace it with the truth of how deeply she is loved by You. Father, we ask that You would prepare her for the husband You have for her, if it is Your will. Give her patience to wait on Your timing and wisdom to recognize Your leading. Open doors for godly connections and protect her from relationships that are not of You. If there are divine appointments You have ordained, let her step into them with faith and courage.
We pray for the desire of her heart—for a Christ-centered marriage and a family that glorifies You. If it is Your will, grant her the joy of children, and let her home be a place of love, peace, and godly heritage. But even as she waits, fill her with Your presence and purpose. Let her know that she is not forgotten, that her season of singleness has not been wasted, and that You are working all things together for her good.
Father, we rebuke the enemy’s attempts to steal her joy, kill her hope, and destroy her faith. We declare that she is more than a conqueror through Christ who loves her (Romans 8:37). Strengthen her, Lord, and let her testify of Your faithfulness in this season.
We ask all these things in the precious and powerful name of Jesus, our Redeemer and our Hope. Amen.
Beloved sister, hold fast to the promise in Jeremiah 29:11: *"For I know the plans that I have for you,’ says Yahweh, ‘plans for peace, and not for evil, to give you hope and a future."* The Lord has not forgotten you. Keep seeking Him, keep trusting Him, and let Him write your love story in His perfect way and time. If you feel led, we encourage you to seek inner healing prayer or counseling from a mature believer who can help you walk through the trauma of your past. The Lord wants to restore every broken place so you can step into the future He has for you with confidence and joy. You are not alone—we are standing with you in faith.
