Today I fasted unintentionally, however I was praying more fervently this morning and afternoon so I guest that counts. Praying for clarity, hearing the spirit better and love. Love is so important to me I want to love someone unconditionally, I know I could just exude this emotion, but I want to experience love on every level even the physical so I must be committed to the person God has chosen for me and not just date someone at random and hope it pans out. This seem hard since I desire someone to love God unconditionally to find a person who is really willing to sacrifice his life for God. For I believe I would, maybe that is why it is so difficult for me to find love because if God puts two people that are willing to die for Christ together we would be unstoppable. Today I was more worried about lost soul though, I always believed that a small minority of people in church will actually make it to heaven, and the outside world number are painstakingly lower then this, so we need to pray more for this.
Matthew 7:13-14
American Standard Version (ASV)
13 Enter ye in by the narrow gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many are they that enter in thereby.
14 For narrow is the gate, and straitened the way, that leadeth unto life, and few are they that find it.
Matthew 7:22-24
American Standard Version (ASV)
22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy by thy name, and by thy name cast out demons, and by thy name do many mighty works?
23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
24 Every one therefore that heareth these words of mine, and doeth them, shall be likened unto a wise man, who built his house upon the rock:
Well thanks again God for letting me fast without turning anorexic again, it is only through you I can fast and not turn all crazy and obsess over my weight. The sad thing about that disorder it is caused by feeling you have no control over your life. Still feel like I am drowning in the middle of the ocean, but strangely I am not worry yes the enemy of the mind tries to make me feel helpless bombard me with all the things going wrong, but I know there must be a reason. Do not know what our creator doing , but he knows and he saved me from making mistakes in the past. Strangely, he let my sister make those same mistakes I guess it all depends on what God wants you to do with your life. I can sometimes hear him warning me, but if I do not listen he will put a boulder in my way. So I can get mad all I want but regardless God is in control, so I choose to be grateful he cares enough to stop me. Like for instant I wanted to take charge of my life in 2012, so I moved out of my apartment and planned to live with my sister for a little while. However, that did not happen, move everything to my sisters, stored appliances at my parents, and sold my furniture only to have my mother get severely sick, she had a hemorhaghic seizure which made her need care for several months. Now she is okay, but I planning to listen to God next time, someone could count this as coincidence but when stuff like this always happens,( People do not always get sick, but dramatic nonetheless) I am pretty sure he did not want to stay temporary with my sister I know that without hearing him. I will just say she lives to much in the world still, admittedly right then I did not care I was just tired. Tired of being the odd ball out, not married even though I am not ugly and living with no general purpose.Now here comes a completely wordly thought, mind me I was becoming desparate and slipping out of God's hands. I remember not keeping my acting manager, regretted never being that extra cop in that movie and so many other foolish things. I mean I missed meeting my favorite actor twice, unrelated to the movie thing, but small worldly things frustrate you when you are at an all time low.
Now my love for God is getting stronger, and I do not care I never met that A list celebrity, it just the foolish things you obsessed over when you are depress. Honestly I always had dreams about this celebrity being the antichrist so he actually kind of scares me. Well anyways I am just praying God will show me soon what is my next step and stop just blocking me. My spiritual maturity was weak for one thing and if I really have the gift I believe God told me , I would have to change. That is why I am spiritually changing, I can feel and see it now my earthly Father is irritated by me more because I am always praying, reading scriptures, listening to Godly music since I am drawing closer to God. Never again will I step out of the plan of God because in my case it is pointless anyway. I'M glad he loves me so much though and I will never wish for his protection to be off of me, so I am here waiting for the Father's to tell me what to do and I know his plans are more epic then my owns. So I am leaving the worlds desires and wishes for me behind and following the Father will, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit .
John 6:37
American Standard Version (ASV)
37 All that which the Father giveth me shall come unto me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.
Thank you Lord Jesus for saving this sometimes brainless child.
Romans 12:2
American Standard Version (ASV)
2 And be not fashioned according to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, and ye may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
John 15:17-19
American Standard Version (ASV)
17 These things I command you, that ye may love one another.
18 If the world hateth you, ye know that it hath hated me before it hated you.
19 If ye were of the world, the world would love its own: but because ye are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
Matthew 7:13-14
American Standard Version (ASV)
13 Enter ye in by the narrow gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many are they that enter in thereby.
14 For narrow is the gate, and straitened the way, that leadeth unto life, and few are they that find it.
Matthew 7:22-24
American Standard Version (ASV)
22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy by thy name, and by thy name cast out demons, and by thy name do many mighty works?
23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
24 Every one therefore that heareth these words of mine, and doeth them, shall be likened unto a wise man, who built his house upon the rock:
Well thanks again God for letting me fast without turning anorexic again, it is only through you I can fast and not turn all crazy and obsess over my weight. The sad thing about that disorder it is caused by feeling you have no control over your life. Still feel like I am drowning in the middle of the ocean, but strangely I am not worry yes the enemy of the mind tries to make me feel helpless bombard me with all the things going wrong, but I know there must be a reason. Do not know what our creator doing , but he knows and he saved me from making mistakes in the past. Strangely, he let my sister make those same mistakes I guess it all depends on what God wants you to do with your life. I can sometimes hear him warning me, but if I do not listen he will put a boulder in my way. So I can get mad all I want but regardless God is in control, so I choose to be grateful he cares enough to stop me. Like for instant I wanted to take charge of my life in 2012, so I moved out of my apartment and planned to live with my sister for a little while. However, that did not happen, move everything to my sisters, stored appliances at my parents, and sold my furniture only to have my mother get severely sick, she had a hemorhaghic seizure which made her need care for several months. Now she is okay, but I planning to listen to God next time, someone could count this as coincidence but when stuff like this always happens,( People do not always get sick, but dramatic nonetheless) I am pretty sure he did not want to stay temporary with my sister I know that without hearing him. I will just say she lives to much in the world still, admittedly right then I did not care I was just tired. Tired of being the odd ball out, not married even though I am not ugly and living with no general purpose.Now here comes a completely wordly thought, mind me I was becoming desparate and slipping out of God's hands. I remember not keeping my acting manager, regretted never being that extra cop in that movie and so many other foolish things. I mean I missed meeting my favorite actor twice, unrelated to the movie thing, but small worldly things frustrate you when you are at an all time low.
Now my love for God is getting stronger, and I do not care I never met that A list celebrity, it just the foolish things you obsessed over when you are depress. Honestly I always had dreams about this celebrity being the antichrist so he actually kind of scares me. Well anyways I am just praying God will show me soon what is my next step and stop just blocking me. My spiritual maturity was weak for one thing and if I really have the gift I believe God told me , I would have to change. That is why I am spiritually changing, I can feel and see it now my earthly Father is irritated by me more because I am always praying, reading scriptures, listening to Godly music since I am drawing closer to God. Never again will I step out of the plan of God because in my case it is pointless anyway. I'M glad he loves me so much though and I will never wish for his protection to be off of me, so I am here waiting for the Father's to tell me what to do and I know his plans are more epic then my owns. So I am leaving the worlds desires and wishes for me behind and following the Father will, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit .
John 6:37
American Standard Version (ASV)
37 All that which the Father giveth me shall come unto me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.
Thank you Lord Jesus for saving this sometimes brainless child.
Romans 12:2
American Standard Version (ASV)
2 And be not fashioned according to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, and ye may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
John 15:17-19
American Standard Version (ASV)
17 These things I command you, that ye may love one another.
18 If the world hateth you, ye know that it hath hated me before it hated you.
19 If ye were of the world, the world would love its own: but because ye are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
