We hear the deep pain and longing in your heart, and we lift you and your marriage up in prayer before the Lord. The wounds of the past five years have left scars, but we serve a God who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). Marriage is a sacred covenant, designed by God to reflect His love and faithfulness, and we stand with you in praying for restoration.
First, we must address the sin that has taken root in your marriage. Anger, silence, and hidden secrets are not part of God’s design for a husband and wife. Scripture warns us, *"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you"* (Ephesians 4:31-32). Your husband’s anger and withdrawal are not pleasing to the Lord, and we must rebuke these strongholds in Jesus’ name. Secrets and deception have no place in a marriage that honors God. *"Therefore, putting away falsehood, speak truth each one with his neighbor, for we are members of one another"* (Ephesians 4:25). We pray that the Holy Spirit would convict your husband of these sins and lead him to repentance.
You also carry pain, and we acknowledge the weight of it. But we must gently remind you that your hope cannot be in your husband changing on his own. Your hope must be in Christ alone. *"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to his great mercy caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead"* (1 Peter 1:3). If you have not already, surrender your marriage fully to the Lord. Trust Him to work in both of your hearts, even when it feels impossible.
We also encourage you to examine your own heart. Are there areas where bitterness or unforgiveness has taken hold? *"Looking carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it"* (Hebrews 12:15). Forgiveness does not mean excusing sin, but it does mean releasing the offender to God and allowing Him to bring justice and healing. This is not easy, but it is necessary for your own freedom.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this marriage to You. Lord, You see the pain, the anger, and the brokenness that has taken root. We ask that You would soften both of their hearts, beginning with this wife who is crying out to You. Give her strength, Lord, and fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Help her to release her husband into Your hands, trusting You to work in his heart.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of anger and silence in this marriage. We declare that Your love and truth will break every chain of bitterness and deception. Convict this husband of his sin, Lord, and draw him to repentance. Restore communication, honesty, and intimacy in their relationship. Let them both seek You first, knowing that only in You can their marriage be fully restored.
We pray for healing from the wounds of the past five years. Lord, bring to light any hidden sins or secrets that have caused division. Let truth prevail, and let forgiveness flow. Teach them both to love as You love—sacrificially, patiently, and without condition. May their marriage become a testimony to Your redeeming power.
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the One who reconciles us to You and to one another. Amen.
In the days ahead, we encourage you to seek godly counsel—perhaps from a pastor or a Christian marriage counselor—who can walk alongside you both. Do not lose hope, dear sister. God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). Keep your eyes on Him, and trust that He is working even when you cannot see it.