Chrysostom
Beloved of All
You have spoken with great honesty about years of unresolved hardship, and about health and finances and housing all pressing at once while you feel alone and without trusted people to lean on. To love God dearly and at the same time to feel your faith shattered and to wonder whether His promises are even for you is a painful place to be, and God hears that honest cry.
You mentioned Hebrews and those who seemed not to receive the promises. The Scripture there says, these all died in faith, not having obtained the promises. That does not mean God failed them or forgot them. It means the promises were greater than what could be fully seen in this life. Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Sarah, they were counted as having been blessed and even rewarded in their own generation, yet what God had promised was larger still, a heavenly country and a city prepared by God and the fulfillment that comes in Christ. They died still trusting, because faith is being fully persuaded that what God has promised He is able also to perform, even when sight and circumstances say otherwise. Their faith was not shown to be false because the full harvest had not yet come. It was shown to be true because they held fast until the end.
That is why faith is described not as a small or weak thing, but as something that belongs to a lofty soul that looks beyond present appearances. Abraham considered his own body as good as dead and the deadness of Sarah's womb, and yet he did not stagger through unbelief but was strong in faith, giving glory to God. To glorify God in this sense is to hold in mind His majesty and boundless power and to be fully persuaded of His word, even when we have no answers. Faith is clearer and firmer than mere reasoning, and it fortifies the heart against the many words and reasonings that would shake it.
When the heart is fevered with endless questionings, asking How can this be or How will God do this, it becomes weary and storm tossed. Scripture warns that to live always in that How is to live with doubt, like Sarah at first when she laughed and said How. It is not wrong to bring your questions to God, but faith learns to leave the lower calculations behind and to look to the power of God above nature. God who cannot lie promised eternal life before time began and has made His word known through Christ. His care is not distant. If He clothes the grass of the field, how much more does He care for you. That does not mean every burden lifts at once, but it means you are not forgotten or outside His promise.
You said you cannot fully trust God right now and you feel you cannot keep going alone. That is not a final condemnation of your faith. Even little faith is still faith directed to the right object, and Christ is gentle with those of little faith so that little faith may grow. The work of faith belongs chiefly to the soul, and it does require labor and perseverance, but not in your own strength alone. It grows as you keep hearing His word, as you keep turning to Him in plain prayer, even with shattered words, and as you allow others to stand with you.
You do not have to find all the solutions today. Bring to God each day what you have, even if it is only Lord, I love you, help my unbelief. Ask Him to make you fully persuaded again of His goodness and power, not because your circumstances have already changed, but because He is faithful. And as you are able, do not remain isolated. Seek one faithful pastor or believer or local church community where you can be known and prayed for in person, and where practical help for housing and daily needs can be sought together. God often keeps His promises through the presence of His people.
May God meet you in this exhausted place. May He quiet the storm of reasonings that confuse the mind, and strengthen you to glorify Him not by pretending the pain is not real, but by holding fast to His character when the pain is real. May He remind you daily that His promises are for all who trust Christ, and therefore for you, and that those who die in faith, even before they see the full fulfillment, are never put to shame, for He has prepared for them a city.
We are praying for you, for relief and provision for your health, finances and housing, for trustworthy companions to come alongside you, and for your faith to be renewed and made firm, not by your own power, but by His.
You mentioned Hebrews and those who seemed not to receive the promises. The Scripture there says, these all died in faith, not having obtained the promises. That does not mean God failed them or forgot them. It means the promises were greater than what could be fully seen in this life. Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Sarah, they were counted as having been blessed and even rewarded in their own generation, yet what God had promised was larger still, a heavenly country and a city prepared by God and the fulfillment that comes in Christ. They died still trusting, because faith is being fully persuaded that what God has promised He is able also to perform, even when sight and circumstances say otherwise. Their faith was not shown to be false because the full harvest had not yet come. It was shown to be true because they held fast until the end.
That is why faith is described not as a small or weak thing, but as something that belongs to a lofty soul that looks beyond present appearances. Abraham considered his own body as good as dead and the deadness of Sarah's womb, and yet he did not stagger through unbelief but was strong in faith, giving glory to God. To glorify God in this sense is to hold in mind His majesty and boundless power and to be fully persuaded of His word, even when we have no answers. Faith is clearer and firmer than mere reasoning, and it fortifies the heart against the many words and reasonings that would shake it.
When the heart is fevered with endless questionings, asking How can this be or How will God do this, it becomes weary and storm tossed. Scripture warns that to live always in that How is to live with doubt, like Sarah at first when she laughed and said How. It is not wrong to bring your questions to God, but faith learns to leave the lower calculations behind and to look to the power of God above nature. God who cannot lie promised eternal life before time began and has made His word known through Christ. His care is not distant. If He clothes the grass of the field, how much more does He care for you. That does not mean every burden lifts at once, but it means you are not forgotten or outside His promise.
You said you cannot fully trust God right now and you feel you cannot keep going alone. That is not a final condemnation of your faith. Even little faith is still faith directed to the right object, and Christ is gentle with those of little faith so that little faith may grow. The work of faith belongs chiefly to the soul, and it does require labor and perseverance, but not in your own strength alone. It grows as you keep hearing His word, as you keep turning to Him in plain prayer, even with shattered words, and as you allow others to stand with you.
You do not have to find all the solutions today. Bring to God each day what you have, even if it is only Lord, I love you, help my unbelief. Ask Him to make you fully persuaded again of His goodness and power, not because your circumstances have already changed, but because He is faithful. And as you are able, do not remain isolated. Seek one faithful pastor or believer or local church community where you can be known and prayed for in person, and where practical help for housing and daily needs can be sought together. God often keeps His promises through the presence of His people.
May God meet you in this exhausted place. May He quiet the storm of reasonings that confuse the mind, and strengthen you to glorify Him not by pretending the pain is not real, but by holding fast to His character when the pain is real. May He remind you daily that His promises are for all who trust Christ, and therefore for you, and that those who die in faith, even before they see the full fulfillment, are never put to shame, for He has prepared for them a city.
We are praying for you, for relief and provision for your health, finances and housing, for trustworthy companions to come alongside you, and for your faith to be renewed and made firm, not by your own power, but by His.
