J
Jude42
Guest
I know I keep flooding this site with the same prayer request, but what's more important than Salvation. I need deliverance from Homosexuality, pride, religion, and I need to be saved. I thought I was saved four years ago, went to church, was part of an evangelism ministry, had a better prayer life than now, and read and studied the Bible. There was a time when I felt I was keeping in step with the spirit and walking with the LORD; that when I thought about that sinful I used to live; I was exceeding grateful that the LORD delivered from it. But then I would fall back into that life as trials, tribulations, and temptations would come my way (like a dog returning to its vomit). I always thought that I was backsliding and that I would repent and that's it but then I would go back to it. I was hanging out with the wrong crowd and brought an unclean spirit to a friend's/brother's house; he rebuked me and I thought about what he said and realized I'm not saved. The Holy Spirit came to me twice (as far as I can recollect) regarding prayer request about deliverance from homosexuality and Salvation. One time I didn't respond the other time I said no. It was like my flesh or something/someone rose up within me and I had this thought that I was satisfied with my religion. The following morning I meant to say I want to be saved but I said I didn't. A brother of mine was fasting and praying for me and he told me that my problem was pride (I agree. I'm a Pharisee). I would go to work and my co-workers would ask me if I was okay because I looked like I wanted to commit suicide (and the thoughts were there). I would ask the LORD not to give up on me as I would try to seek him and I would always fall short. I got so depressed (and currently am depressed) that I took up the eat, drink, and be merry attitude and go back to that life of sin. But whenever I did the LORD would provide a way out (which I wouldn't take) but I guess he wouldn't let me go so far into because I would usually stop. Granted each time I jumped into the mud I would go deeper and deeper and he would reach out to me and I wouldn't listen because I thought I'm hopeless. I'm not dead and in hell yet and I know it is the kindness of God that leads to repentance, that he desires all men to be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth, and that the Longsuffering of God is Salvation. I need help and I know this is all my fault. I don't have any illusions about how I am and the end is so near. I'm foolish and stubborn; I need repentance toward God, and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I need to humble myself because I know that the Lord resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. I need the Holy Spirit to draw me and to give me Godly sorrow which leads to repentance. If the apostle Paul who referred to himself as the chief of sinners could be saved and Christ came to save sinners and Jesus said that what's impossible with men is possible with God, surely God could save me. I feel so dead like dry bones from all the sins I've done. My heart's hard but part of me feels like God hasn't given up on me. Please pray for my deliverance from Homosexuality, pride, stubbornness, and of course salvation. God bless you.
