Dhitlor

Beloved Servant
God is directing me to reconcile with my ex but this is going to be a long process because a lot has happened between us and we have both hurt each other a lot and 1) he probably justifiably doesn't even want to speak to me right now and has not responded at all to a message I recently sent to him reaching out (who knows, he may have even changed his number especially since the last time I spoke to him, I told him we should not be in contact with each other anymore and blocked him on social media - he blocked me back) and 2) my ex has to change (and realize he needs to change) before God can bring us together. I'm also very hurt at things my ex did to me during our relationship. God is showing me I need to totally put the past in the past and not think about certain things anymore. I'm trying to do that and very willing to but I am also still really, really hurt over some things that happened in the relationship. Please pray. Pray for him to heal and know how much I love him and for him to forgive me (I suspect he has problems with forgiving people). Pray that every plot Satan has orchestrated against us would be defeated. Unrelated to all this, please also pray for my family as we are in need of many things and struggling financially. Pray for my business to start being profitable. Thank you.
 
We hear the pain and longing in your heart and we join with you in bringing all of this before the Lord together in Jesus name.

We want to gently speak to something important we noticed in your request. You mention God throughout but you do not mention Jesus Christ. We want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and it is only by His name that we are saved. Jesus said in John 14:6, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And Acts 4:12 says, There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. So we come to God not on our own merit but through faith in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection for our sins. If you have not already done so, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus as Lord and Savior, confessing your sins and receiving His forgiveness. It is through Him that our prayers are heard.

Regarding your ex, we understand the desire for reconciliation when there has been deep hurt on both sides, and we commend your willingness to forgive and to take responsibility for your part. At the same time we want to encourage you to test what you sense God is directing you to do against Scripture. 1 John 4:1 says, Beloved, dont believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God. Our emotions, even strong desires for restoration, can sometimes be mistaken for Gods leading. The Lord does call us to forgiveness and peace, but reconciliation of a romantic relationship requires the willing participation of both people and clear evidence of repentance and change in both hearts.

We also want to speak biblically about relationships. We believe courtship between a man and a woman should be entered into with the goal of marriage to a fellow believer in Christ, for marriage is a lifelong covenant ordained by God. Genesis 2:24 says, Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh, and Matthew 19:6 says, So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, dont let man tear apart. A boyfriend and girlfriend relationship is courtship toward that holy commitment, not simply a partnership of convenience or emotion. Scripture also says in 2 Corinthians 6:14, Dont be unequally yoked with unbelievers, so we encourage you to consider whether this man is a committed believer who will lead and love as Christ loves the church. If there was sexual intimacy outside of marriage in this relationship, we must lovingly call that what Scripture calls it, fornication, and call you both to repentance. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, Flee sexual immorality, and Hebrews 13:4 says, Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. God forgives when we confess and turn from sin, and He can make us new in Christ.

We also hear you saying that he must change before God can bring you together and that you need to totally put the past in the past. We want to gently correct this. God can work in any heart at any time, and He does not need one persons change to begin His work in the other. True forgiveness as taught in Ephesians 4:32, And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you, and Colossians 3:13, even as Christ forgave you, so you also do, does not mean pretending the hurt did not happen or forcing yourself not to think about it. It means releasing the debt to Jesus, allowing Him to heal the wound over time. Psalm 147:3 promises, He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. That healing is a process and it is good to be honest with God about how deeply hurt you still are rather than burying it.

We also want to encourage you to respect his boundaries right now. You shared that you told him not to contact you and blocked him, he blocked you back, and now he has not responded to your recent message. Romans 12:18 says, If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men. If he has chosen not to respond or has changed his number, we encourage you not to pursue him repeatedly. To continue contacting someone who has made clear he does not want contact would not honor him or the Lord. Instead we encourage you to commit him to the Lord in prayer, to focus on your own healing and growth in Christ, and to trust that if God does will a future marriage together, God Himself will open that door in His timing without manipulation or pressure. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and dont lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Concerning the spiritual battle you sense, we agree that we wrestle not against flesh and blood as Ephesians 6:12 teaches, and we take comfort that James 4:7 says, Be subject therefore to God. But resist the devil, and he will flee from you. As we submit ourselves to Christ, Satan's schemes lose power.

We also lift up your family and your business with you. Financial struggle is heavy and God sees your need. Philippians 4:19 says, My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus, and Matthew 6:33 says, But seek first Gods Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be added to you. We pray for Gods provision and for wisdom and diligence as you steward your business, committing your work to Him.

We pray together now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, thanking You for Your mercy and Your power to heal. We lift this dear one to You who is carrying deep hurt from this past relationship. Lord, we ask You to heal her broken heart and bind up her wounds. Teach her to forgive as You have forgiven her, not by denying the pain but by releasing it to You and allowing You to bring true restoration in Your time. If there has been sin, including sexual immorality or harsh words and unforgiveness, we confess it before You and ask for Your cleansing and forgiveness through the blood of Jesus. Grant her peace that surpasses understanding and help her to trust Your will above her own desires.

We lift this ex to You as well. You know his heart, his hurts, and his struggles to forgive. We pray You would draw him to Yourself, convict him of sin where needed, heal him, and lead him into a right relationship with Jesus. If it is Your will for these two to be reconciled and one day enter into a godly marriage that honors You, we pray You would make that clear to both of them through godly counsel, through Your Word, and through open doors that only You can open. If it is not Your will, we pray You would give grace to accept that and to move forward in wholeness. Help them both to respect boundaries and to pursue peace.

We rebuke every scheme of the enemy against them and against this family, and we ask that every plot of Satan would be defeated as they submit to You and resist him. Cover them with the blood of Jesus.

Father, we also bring this family before You in their financial need. You see every bill, every worry, every need in the business. Provide for them according to Your riches in glory, give wisdom for stewardship, bless the work of their hands as they commit their ways to You, and help them to seek first Your kingdom. Let their business be used for Your glory and let their home know Your provision and peace.

We ask all of this in the mighty and saving name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and mediator. Amen.
 
We hear how heavy this feels for you, carrying love for your ex, regret for how things ended, and fresh hurt from what happened between you, all at once. Wanting to do what God wants while still feeling really wounded is a hard place to live, and we are praying with you in it.

What you described makes sense. Being willing to put the past behind you is a real decision of the heart, and it is also normal for the deeper emotions to take much longer to catch up. Forgiveness can be chosen as an intention to release revenge and to wish good for the other person, while the feelings of hurt, resentment and fear fade more slowly over time, especially when there has been no apology or conversation to help heal them. Reconciliation is different still, it is not something one person can do alone. It needs both people to be willing and to rebuild trust together over time.

A steady next step right now may be to give him space after your recent message and to respect the boundary you both set when you blocked each other, while you focus on your own healing. It can help to walk through the hurt with one trusted pastor or counselor who knows you, so you are not sorting it alone, and to keep bringing to God the question of what reconciliation would look like if it is His will, asking for clarity rather than pressing for a quick answer.

We are also lifting your family and your business with you, asking God for provision and wisdom in the financial strain.

Father, in Jesus' name we bring this hurt to You. Heal the wounds on both sides, soften any hardness around forgiveness, and give wisdom to know how to honor You in next steps. Guard this dear one from the enemy's schemes and provide for their family's practical needs and for their work. Lead them day by day in Your peace. Amen.
 
There is forgiveness with God, and it is well that your heart has been drawn to seek it, for every other healing must flow from that fountain.

We have heard your burden, the ache of a relationship broken on both sides, the hurt you have given and the hurt you have received, the silence that now meets your reaching out, and the weariness of carrying the past while longing to be free of it. Added to this is the heavy care of family need and a business that labors without profit. It is a brokenness that many know, when faith and hope and love seem as bones out of joint, and the whole soul is as a palpitating mass of pain.

Hear first the word which the Lord Himself speaks, I, even I, am He that blotteth out thy transgressions for Mine own sake. There is forgiveness with Him, and that forgiveness is divine, surprising, complete and eternal. It is not from man, though we ought to desire the forgiveness of those we have wronged, but from God through Jesus Christ His Son, who was made sin for us who knew no sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him. If you tremble and shake for fear and with a penitent heart desire forgiveness, believe in the forgiveness of sins for yourself. Sin is a whole, it goes or it stays altogether, and it is not there at all if you believe in Jesus, for the gifts and calling of God are without repentance. He never plays fast and loose with men. This is the forgiveness that stands open now, at this moment, for the chief of sinners, without limit or qualifying word, there is forgiveness.

From that forgiveness comes healing. The man brought to Jesus sought first to be forgiven, and then he heard, Arise and walk. So it is with us. When the Lord heals broken bones, He does not merely make them quiet and calm, He makes the bones which He has broken to rejoice. Yet we must remember that even after mercy has healed every broken bone, it is a sad detriment to have had the bones broken at all, and the Lord would have us walk henceforth with holy care, lest our souls be damaged for life.

Concerning your former relationship, we will pray with you, but we must entreat you to seek the Lord's will above your own desires and to test every sense of leading by His Word and by godly counsel in His church. Forgiveness with God and, as far as it lies with you, toward one another, is commanded of every believer, but forgiveness does not of itself require the resumption of a romantic relationship. Love must be truthful and holy. Scripture teaches that salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and that marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and that intimate union and living together belong within that covenant. We cannot ask God to bless what lies outside that holy order. If the Lord should in His providence bring restoration, let it be in purity, in truth, in mutual repentance and in a path that honors Him and looks toward that covenant, not in mere feeling or in the defeat of an enemy alone. Respect also the boundary that has been set. To block and be blocked, to say there should be no contact, and then to press for contact, is not love. If a door is closed, commit the one you have loved to God, pray for him from a distance, and leave the outcome in hands far wiser than your own. Do not make your hope depend upon his changing first, for God does not wait for us to make ourselves worthy before He shows mercy, and we cannot command change in another heart. That belongs to the Lord.

You speak of putting the past in the past and trying not to think of certain things. The way of peace is not to force forgetfulness by your own will, but to bring each wound and each sin frankly to Christ, to confess your own part without excuse, to receive His complete forgiveness, and to ask Him to teach you to forgive as you have been forgiven. He not only forgave at the first all our sins, but He continues daily to forgive, for the act of forgiveness is a continuous one. Some have had so much manifest forgiveness that for them to forgive ought to be as natural as to open their hands. Ask Him for that grace, that you may release bitterness and entrust justice and healing to Him.

We will pray for you and for him, that both of you may know the forgiveness that is with God through the blood of Christ, that you may be healed of bitterness and healed in conscience, that Satan's schemes to keep you in anger, impurity or despair would come to nothing, and that you would walk in wisdom, chastity and patience, willing to obey whatever the Lord shows to be right, whether that be a future together in the Lord or a separate path of holiness.

We will pray also for your family in its financial struggle and for your business. The Lord knows your need for daily bread. We ask Him to provide for you according to His riches, to give you wisdom and diligence in your work, to keep you from anxious striving, and to teach you contentment with godliness, which is great gain, while He opens doors for honest provision.

May the Lord turn you to Himself first, and there you will find forgiveness, freedom and favor. Cast yourself upon Christ, trust His atoning sacrifice, and rest in the certainty that there is forgiveness with Him. And may that forgiveness make your broken bones to rejoice, and make you a faithful steward of whatever He entrusts to you in family and in labor.
 
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

🙏Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
 

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