We hear the pain and longing in your heart and we join with you in bringing all of this before the Lord together in Jesus name.
We want to gently speak to something important we noticed in your request. You mention God throughout but you do not mention Jesus Christ. We want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and it is only by His name that we are saved. Jesus said in John 14:6, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And Acts 4:12 says, There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. So we come to God not on our own merit but through faith in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection for our sins. If you have not already done so, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus as Lord and Savior, confessing your sins and receiving His forgiveness. It is through Him that our prayers are heard.
Regarding your ex, we understand the desire for reconciliation when there has been deep hurt on both sides, and we commend your willingness to forgive and to take responsibility for your part. At the same time we want to encourage you to test what you sense God is directing you to do against Scripture. 1 John 4:1 says, Beloved, dont believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God. Our emotions, even strong desires for restoration, can sometimes be mistaken for Gods leading. The Lord does call us to forgiveness and peace, but reconciliation of a romantic relationship requires the willing participation of both people and clear evidence of repentance and change in both hearts.
We also want to speak biblically about relationships. We believe courtship between a man and a woman should be entered into with the goal of marriage to a fellow believer in Christ, for marriage is a lifelong covenant ordained by God. Genesis 2:24 says, Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh, and Matthew 19:6 says, So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, dont let man tear apart. A boyfriend and girlfriend relationship is courtship toward that holy commitment, not simply a partnership of convenience or emotion. Scripture also says in 2 Corinthians 6:14, Dont be unequally yoked with unbelievers, so we encourage you to consider whether this man is a committed believer who will lead and love as Christ loves the church. If there was sexual intimacy outside of marriage in this relationship, we must lovingly call that what Scripture calls it, fornication, and call you both to repentance. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, Flee sexual immorality, and Hebrews 13:4 says, Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. God forgives when we confess and turn from sin, and He can make us new in Christ.
We also hear you saying that he must change before God can bring you together and that you need to totally put the past in the past. We want to gently correct this. God can work in any heart at any time, and He does not need one persons change to begin His work in the other. True forgiveness as taught in Ephesians 4:32, And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you, and Colossians 3:13, even as Christ forgave you, so you also do, does not mean pretending the hurt did not happen or forcing yourself not to think about it. It means releasing the debt to Jesus, allowing Him to heal the wound over time. Psalm 147:3 promises, He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. That healing is a process and it is good to be honest with God about how deeply hurt you still are rather than burying it.
We also want to encourage you to respect his boundaries right now. You shared that you told him not to contact you and blocked him, he blocked you back, and now he has not responded to your recent message. Romans 12:18 says, If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men. If he has chosen not to respond or has changed his number, we encourage you not to pursue him repeatedly. To continue contacting someone who has made clear he does not want contact would not honor him or the Lord. Instead we encourage you to commit him to the Lord in prayer, to focus on your own healing and growth in Christ, and to trust that if God does will a future marriage together, God Himself will open that door in His timing without manipulation or pressure. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and dont lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Concerning the spiritual battle you sense, we agree that we wrestle not against flesh and blood as Ephesians 6:12 teaches, and we take comfort that James 4:7 says, Be subject therefore to God. But resist the devil, and he will flee from you. As we submit ourselves to Christ, Satan's schemes lose power.
We also lift up your family and your business with you. Financial struggle is heavy and God sees your need. Philippians 4:19 says, My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus, and Matthew 6:33 says, But seek first Gods Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be added to you. We pray for Gods provision and for wisdom and diligence as you steward your business, committing your work to Him.
We pray together now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, thanking You for Your mercy and Your power to heal. We lift this dear one to You who is carrying deep hurt from this past relationship. Lord, we ask You to heal her broken heart and bind up her wounds. Teach her to forgive as You have forgiven her, not by denying the pain but by releasing it to You and allowing You to bring true restoration in Your time. If there has been sin, including sexual immorality or harsh words and unforgiveness, we confess it before You and ask for Your cleansing and forgiveness through the blood of Jesus. Grant her peace that surpasses understanding and help her to trust Your will above her own desires.
We lift this ex to You as well. You know his heart, his hurts, and his struggles to forgive. We pray You would draw him to Yourself, convict him of sin where needed, heal him, and lead him into a right relationship with Jesus. If it is Your will for these two to be reconciled and one day enter into a godly marriage that honors You, we pray You would make that clear to both of them through godly counsel, through Your Word, and through open doors that only You can open. If it is not Your will, we pray You would give grace to accept that and to move forward in wholeness. Help them both to respect boundaries and to pursue peace.
We rebuke every scheme of the enemy against them and against this family, and we ask that every plot of Satan would be defeated as they submit to You and resist him. Cover them with the blood of Jesus.
Father, we also bring this family before You in their financial need. You see every bill, every worry, every need in the business. Provide for them according to Your riches in glory, give wisdom for stewardship, bless the work of their hands as they commit their ways to You, and help them to seek first Your kingdom. Let their business be used for Your glory and let their home know Your provision and peace.
We ask all of this in the mighty and saving name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and mediator. Amen.