G
gangstasi
Guest
Ok, maybe this is stupid to post this here, but I'm not doing very well right now and I just don't know what else to do. I don't know what information it shows about me, so just an fyi, I'm a twenty year old guy and I'm a sophomore in college right now. I had a girlfriend for the first time last year. I'm sure that's part of why I'm having such a hard time. There is a pretty long story behind all of this and it would take me a while to write it all out. I have no problem doing that, but I don't even know how this is supposed to work or if I'm using this site the right way. I don't want to waste anyones time unless they want me to also lol I guess to make a long story short, she broke up with after about a month.
Basically I ignored her a lot and said some things I shouldn't and didn't act how a boyfriend should act. I didn't make her feel safe or comfortable with me at all. I just wasn't doing good back then and shouldn't have tried getting into a relationship yet. I've changed a lot since then and that's what really gets to me right now. I know that I can show her I've worked out my problems and can treat her right now. It's extremely hard to do though because she literally doesn't have any free time. We both go to the same Christian college fyi. She has 23 credits this next semester and has 2 jobs, so that shows you that she literally has no free time lol Our relationship before was basically all online :/ I know, not good. I just didn't pursue her enough.
She's gone back and forth over the last few weeks about if she's ok with me pursuing her. We met at college and were best friends before all of this and we still are good friends. I almost never see her in person. We literally talk to eachother ever day throught the day through texting and online though. I know online relationships aren't the best. Anyways, last week she said she didn't want me pursuing her, but then a couple days later she brought up the fact that I haven't been around her enough to show her that I changed. I asked her why it mattered since she wasn't interested in me anymore and she said that wouldn't even think to start thinking about anything more than a friendship with me unless we hung out in person more often. That really throug me off lol I guess she does still like me then maybe... Idk I don't see why else she would say that unless she did. She just doesn't trust me I think. Idk I don't know what I'm doing right now. Every time I see her or whenever she's around I get so nervous. My stomach starts killing me and I feel like I'm going to throw up. That's how nervous I get. I hate it. I don't know what to do now. I don't know if I should try to hang out with her more and try to get her back or just stay friends and only talk online :/ I know what I want. I...love this girl and would do anyhing to get her back, but I don't know if that's realistic or not. I think she keeps going back and forth between letting me try to hang out with her her more and not because she doesn't want to hurt me. Any time I talk to her about relationship stuff between us, she says that a relationship between us just isn't realistic. Idk maybe because we're opposites of eachother. She's really loud and I'm more on the quiet side. I'm attracted to girls that are louder like that though :/
She did say I could pursue a friendship with her now and see where that goes... I'm so confused. She said I could pursue her as a friend, but that I have to realize that it's very unlikely that it would ever go further than a friendship. I don't know what to do. I want to be with this girl again more than anything else right now, but don't know if it can happen or not. fyi God is first above anything in my life. He comes before any girl ever will. I'm right with God and following his word. I just don't know what to do with this now. This was my frist relationship and I just don't have any experience or clue on what I should do now. I've been praying about this for a long time and have been waiting on God, but I'm dying inside right now. This is killing me and messing me up inside. I feel terrible and depressed throught most of my days. I just can't get her out of my mind no matter what I do. lol this still ended up being long :/ Sorry about that. Just imagine how long it would be if I gave you all the details lol I won't do that to any of you unless you don't mind though. Eh I'm thinking maybe this wasn't the right site to post this on now. I'm sorry if it's not. I don't know where else to go though. I do have friends that I talk to about this, but I'm still feeling terrible and am still clueless. I just need prayer that God will give me wisdom and guidance on what I'm supposed to do now. I need His strength to get me through this, because I've used up every ounce of strength that I had left. I would really appreciate it if some of you could just pray that God will help me somehow. I can't live like this and desperately need His help. Please pray that He'll just help clear my mind and give me certainty. This girl won't give me closure and there isn't any at all right now, so it makes all of this still open and very confusing and hard to figure out. I need God more than ever right now and need people praying that He'll just...help me. Thanks
Basically I ignored her a lot and said some things I shouldn't and didn't act how a boyfriend should act. I didn't make her feel safe or comfortable with me at all. I just wasn't doing good back then and shouldn't have tried getting into a relationship yet. I've changed a lot since then and that's what really gets to me right now. I know that I can show her I've worked out my problems and can treat her right now. It's extremely hard to do though because she literally doesn't have any free time. We both go to the same Christian college fyi. She has 23 credits this next semester and has 2 jobs, so that shows you that she literally has no free time lol Our relationship before was basically all online :/ I know, not good. I just didn't pursue her enough.
She's gone back and forth over the last few weeks about if she's ok with me pursuing her. We met at college and were best friends before all of this and we still are good friends. I almost never see her in person. We literally talk to eachother ever day throught the day through texting and online though. I know online relationships aren't the best. Anyways, last week she said she didn't want me pursuing her, but then a couple days later she brought up the fact that I haven't been around her enough to show her that I changed. I asked her why it mattered since she wasn't interested in me anymore and she said that wouldn't even think to start thinking about anything more than a friendship with me unless we hung out in person more often. That really throug me off lol I guess she does still like me then maybe... Idk I don't see why else she would say that unless she did. She just doesn't trust me I think. Idk I don't know what I'm doing right now. Every time I see her or whenever she's around I get so nervous. My stomach starts killing me and I feel like I'm going to throw up. That's how nervous I get. I hate it. I don't know what to do now. I don't know if I should try to hang out with her more and try to get her back or just stay friends and only talk online :/ I know what I want. I...love this girl and would do anyhing to get her back, but I don't know if that's realistic or not. I think she keeps going back and forth between letting me try to hang out with her her more and not because she doesn't want to hurt me. Any time I talk to her about relationship stuff between us, she says that a relationship between us just isn't realistic. Idk maybe because we're opposites of eachother. She's really loud and I'm more on the quiet side. I'm attracted to girls that are louder like that though :/
She did say I could pursue a friendship with her now and see where that goes... I'm so confused. She said I could pursue her as a friend, but that I have to realize that it's very unlikely that it would ever go further than a friendship. I don't know what to do. I want to be with this girl again more than anything else right now, but don't know if it can happen or not. fyi God is first above anything in my life. He comes before any girl ever will. I'm right with God and following his word. I just don't know what to do with this now. This was my frist relationship and I just don't have any experience or clue on what I should do now. I've been praying about this for a long time and have been waiting on God, but I'm dying inside right now. This is killing me and messing me up inside. I feel terrible and depressed throught most of my days. I just can't get her out of my mind no matter what I do. lol this still ended up being long :/ Sorry about that. Just imagine how long it would be if I gave you all the details lol I won't do that to any of you unless you don't mind though. Eh I'm thinking maybe this wasn't the right site to post this on now. I'm sorry if it's not. I don't know where else to go though. I do have friends that I talk to about this, but I'm still feeling terrible and am still clueless. I just need prayer that God will give me wisdom and guidance on what I'm supposed to do now. I need His strength to get me through this, because I've used up every ounce of strength that I had left. I would really appreciate it if some of you could just pray that God will help me somehow. I can't live like this and desperately need His help. Please pray that He'll just help clear my mind and give me certainty. This girl won't give me closure and there isn't any at all right now, so it makes all of this still open and very confusing and hard to figure out. I need God more than ever right now and need people praying that He'll just...help me. Thanks
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