Ex boyfriend

Dhitlor

Beloved Servant
I broke up with someone who I should never have dated due to knowing from the beginning that God did not want me with him. He was having a lot of health problems at the time of our break up including possible cancer. Due to certain reasons and after certain events, he will not speak to me at all so I have no idea how he is. For certain reasons, I doubt we will ever speak again (and maybe it's for the best; he does not live in my city) although I desperately want to be there for him in his health issues and know if he's okay. Please pray about all this. It has been painful and I'm experiencing so many different emotions, some that I can't even put in words. Thank you.
 
We hear your heart in this and we thank you for your honesty before God. We have heard your pain and the many emotions you are carrying that feel too deep for words, and we are seeking God's will together with you in Jesus' name.

We want to gently and lovingly address what you have shared, because you said you knew from the beginning that God did not want you with him and yet you entered into dating him anyway. That is disobedience to the Lord's leading, and we must call it what it is so that there can be full healing. We do not say this to condemn you, for we all have disobeyed, but so that you can receive complete forgiveness and learn to walk in obedience going forward. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness 1 John 1:9. We rejoice that you did ultimately obey and break off the relationship, and we encourage you to see that obedience as God's mercy to you, even though it is painful now. Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6.

We also want to speak biblically about relationships, because God calls dating to be courtship with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, not simply companionship or a boyfriend and girlfriend experience. We believe in the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman as outlined in the Bible, and we pray for godly spouses and marriages that honor God. Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers 2 Corinthians 6:14 reminds us that we are to pursue only relationships that align with biblical principles and that are clearly led by God toward marriage. When we step outside that, we open ourselves to confusion and hurt. We also want to address that if there was any sexual intimacy outside of marriage in this relationship, the Bible calls that fornication and it is sin before God that also needs to be confessed and forsaken, for God calls us to purity as we wait for marriage. We encourage you to commit any future courtship to the Lord first, seeking a spouse who loves Christ and whom God confirms is His will for you.

We understand your desperate desire to be there for him in his health issues and the possible cancer, and the ache of not knowing how he is and not being able to speak to him. It is painful when love and concern remain but the door to communicate has been closed, and it is understandable to feel torn, guilty, and helpless. Yet we encourage you to see that his unwillingness to speak and the distance between your cities may indeed be God's gracious boundary for you both. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18 and He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3. He is the one who can be present with your former boyfriend when you cannot, and we can trust his health and his life into God's sovereign hands. In the same way, the Spirit also helps our weaknesses, for we don't know how to pray as we ought. But the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which can't be uttered Romans 8:26, so even those emotions you cannot put into words are fully known to God. Cast all your worries on him, because he cares for you 1 Peter 5:7 and we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose Romans 8:28. We encourage you to respect his boundary and not pursue contact against his will, but to release him to the Lord, to grieve well, and to allow God to heal your heart and to teach you through this season.

We also noticed your request mentions God but does not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly share that it is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to God and that we are saved. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6 and There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. It is through faith in Jesus, who died for our sins and rose again, that we are forgiven and can come boldly to God in prayer. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, and to bring every prayer to the Father in His name.

We pray together for you and for him now.

Father, we come to You in the precious name of Jesus Christ and we lift this dear one to You. We thank You for her honesty and for her willingness to obey You in ending a relationship You had not willed. We ask You to forgive her for the initial disobedience of entering it, to cleanse her fully, and to give her peace that Your forgiveness is complete. Lord, heal her broken heart and bind up her wounds. Guard her heart and mind with Your peace which surpasses all understanding Philippians 4:6-7. In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God Philippians 4:6. Help her to cast every care on You and to trust You with emotions too deep for words. Give her wisdom to respect boundaries, to not reopen what You have closed, and to find her comfort and identity in You alone. Prepare her, in Your timing, for a godly marriage to a believing man if it is Your will, and help her to pursue courtship that honors You.

We also lift her former boyfriend to You. You know his health, his body, and whether cancer is present. We ask for Your mercy and healing hand upon him, for wisdom for any doctors, and for Your perfect will to be done in his body. Above all we pray for his soul, that if he does not know Jesus he would come to know Him as Savior, and if he does know You that he would be drawn closer to You through this trial. Be near to him when we cannot be, and let him feel Your presence and care. We release them both into Your loving and sovereign hands, trusting that You are good and that You do all things well. We ask all this in the name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and our peace, amen.
 
Thank you for trusting us with this. We can hear how heavy and tangled this has felt, knowing you made the right decision to step away, and at the same time carrying deep care for him, worry about his health, and grief over not knowing how he is or being able to reach out.

Wanting to be there for him shows a compassionate heart, and it makes sense that not having answers would leave you with so many emotions you can't quite name. Grief is a natural response to loss, and it is not only about death. It can come with a breakup, with lost hopes and unanswered questions, and no two people walk through it the same way. Knowing a choice was right does not take away the ache of it, and the ache does not mean the choice was wrong. Both can be true at once.

In a season like this it helps not to carry it alone. If you can, choose one trusted person to walk with you in the coming weeks, a pastor, a mature friend, or a counselor, someone you can be honest with when the waves of sadness, relief, guilt, or worry come and go. Giving yourself permission to grieve at your own pace, and to share that sorrow with another, often makes the burden lighter to bear.

We are praying for you, and for him in God's care.

Father, in Jesus' name we lift this sister to You and we lift her former boyfriend to You. You see his health and his needs even when she cannot. Bring her comfort, clarity and peace as she processes this loss, and help her to rest in Your loving hands for both of their futures. Amen.
 
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

🙏Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
 
We have heard your burden with much tenderness and we bring it before the Lord with you. There is a peculiar pain in loving one whom conscience told you from the beginning the Lord had not appointed for you, and in afterwards doing what obedience required in stepping away from that path. That you obeyed, though it cost you tears, is not to be regretted. The Lord is gracious to show us His way, and blessedness belongs to those who walk in it, even when the heart is sore.

You speak of many emotions you cannot put into words and of a sorrow that lingers. This is the very brokenness of heart of which it is written, He healeth the broken in heart and bindeth up their wounds. We very speedily care for bodily diseases, but a wounded spirit none can heal but God alone. I have often labored to bind up a broken heart, but could never effect it by my own hand. Only He who sits upon the throne can do it. Turn not to any helper save to Him. Bring your confusion, your longing, your grief that has no language, and lay it before Him who understands the sigh that has no words. The work of the Son in removing guilt is linked with the work of the Spirit in removing guile and healing the inward parts, and when He comes to dwell with His people, pardon and healing are one.

If there be any guilt upon your conscience, whether for entering a path you knew was not of God, or for any other sin, confess it plainly before Him. He who made no confession and would not see the heinousness of his sin put a fearful strain upon his conscience, but he who humbles himself and admits that he is altogether a sinner finds that the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin. If by faith you can believe in the sin forgiving God and accept the matchless Atonement which covers all your guilt, then you are even now among the blessed. Do not carry a burden of condemnation which Christ has borne. Receive His forgiveness and let the healing virtue which His grace has infused into you work health and cure till your heart is made whole.

Of your former companion, we will pray as you have asked. The Lord knows his health, his possible affliction, and every chamber where he lies. Calvary is the place for the healing balm, and the costly balm of His Atonement has lost none of its power. The least thing about Christ is healing, for the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations, and they change the life blood and make the nature other than it was before. We will entreat the Great Physician to lay His hand upon this man, to give skill to those who care for him, and above all to show him his need of pardon in Christ, for healing and forgiveness are placed in happy conjunction. We will not ask the Lord to bless what He has shown you was not His will, nor to restore a union that was not of Him, but we will ask Him to do what is holy and merciful for you both.

That he will not speak to you, and that providence has placed distance between you, is indeed painful, yet it may be the Lord's kind boundary for your healing and for his. To press beyond that boundary when speech is refused would not be love but intrusion. It is right to commit him to Him who is present where you cannot be, who sees what you cannot know. You need not know every report to pray effectually, for your Father knoweth what things he hath need of before you ask Him. Leave the outcome in those hands from which abundant streams of healing flow down to men below.

We pray now for you, that the Sun of Righteousness may rise upon you with healing in His wings, that your many and mingled emotions may be quieted by His presence, that faith may come by hearing His Word as Christ was teaching and healing together, and that you may be kept in purity and peace as you wait upon Him. May He lift you up by His own hand, as He lifted her who lay sick of a fever, and may the desire to minister to Him arise out of your healing.

O Lord our God, look upon this Thy child whose heart is wounded and whose thoughts are many. Forgive all sin through the blood of Thy Son, cleanse the conscience, and take away guile. Heal the broken heart which only Thou canst bind up. Give rest from self reproach and give patience to wait upon Thy will. Remember also the man who is afflicted in body, if it be possible cancer and other infirmities. Have mercy upon him, spare his life if it please Thee, ease his pain, and bring him to know pardon and healing in Jesus Christ, through whom alone is salvation. Keep both in Thy holy keeping, and let Thy will be done in each life, to the glory of Thy name. Amen.
 
Thank you for sharing something so painful and personal, and for your honesty before God about this relationship. It takes humility and courage to recognize when you entered a relationship that God did not will for you, and then to act in obedience by ending it even when it was hard. God sees that obedience, and He also sees the grief, confusion, and helplessness you feel now.

It is understandable to carry many different emotions at once. There can be sorrow for his suffering, relief that you obeyed, guilt for stepping away during his health crisis, longing to know he is okay, and loneliness in the silence when he will not speak to you. God is not distant from any of those feelings. He invites you to bring each one to Him honestly in prayer, trusting that He is compassionate and that He cares for both of you far more than you are able to.

We will pray for you and for him, asking God to work according to His perfect wisdom and love, not simply according to our wishes.

We pray that God would have mercy on your former boyfriend in his health struggles. We ask the Lord to provide skilled care, to bring healing according to His will, and above all to draw this man to Himself for salvation through Jesus Christ alone if he does not already know Him. We pray that God would comfort him, sustain him, and surround him with the help he needs in his own community.

We also pray for you, that God would heal your heart and give you peace that goes beyond understanding. We ask Him to guard you from guilt that does not come from Him, to confirm you in the right step you took in obedience, and to help you respect the boundary he has set by not speaking. When someone has closed communication, honoring that distance is loving and right, even when your heart wants to reach out. The fact that he lives elsewhere and that contact has ended may indeed be part of God's gracious protection for both of you as you move forward separately.

We pray that God would teach you to entrust this man fully into His hands, releasing the need to know every detail and learning to rest in the truth that God knows exactly where he is and what he needs. We pray that you would be strengthened in your walk with Christ, rooted in Scripture, in prayer, and in fellowship with faithful believers who can support you in this season. If the pain remains heavy, please consider speaking regularly with a trusted pastor or godly counselor in your church.

You do not need to carry this alone. God is near to the brokenhearted, He forgives, He restores, and He leads those who seek to follow Him. We will continue to lift both of you before Him, asking for His healing, His salvation, His comfort, and His clear guidance for your next steps.

If you would like to share more or need continued prayer, please let us know.
 
Your honesty in sharing this is deeply appreciated, and the pain and confusion you describe are completely understandable. You did the right thing in stepping away from a relationship you knew was not God's will for you. That kind of obedience is often costly and it brings a mixture of relief, grief, and lingering questions, especially when you cannot find words for all that you feel.

Part of what you are carrying sounds like the weight of guilt. When we know we have moved outside of what God desires, that awareness stays before us. We try to hide it or cover it, but we cannot hide it from ourselves. With guilt there often comes a hidden desire to be punished, to somehow pay for what we have done by holding onto sorrow or by trying to carry a burden that is not ours to carry. Scripture speaks very clearly to this. When we acknowledge our sin honestly before God, as David did when he prayed to be washed thoroughly and cleansed, God does not give us a partial forgiveness. Through the blood of Jesus Christ His forgiveness is total and complete. He removes our sin as far as the east is from the west and never holds it against us again. You do not need to punish yourself or remain under condemnation. If you have confessed this to the Lord, you can rest that you are forgiven and cleansed, even while you still feel the sorrow of the choice.

God calls His people to be holy because He is holy, which means a life set apart from what is unclean and from what pulls us away from Him. He promises that when we turn from those things He will be a Father to us. Your decision to end the relationship, though painful, was a step of holiness and separation unto Him. That is not something to regret, even when the feelings that follow are difficult.

It is also natural that you long to know how he is and to help in his health struggles, and it is hard to be unable to reach him. You cannot be the one to watch over him, but God can. The only sure hope when a situation feels beyond our control and beyond any human help is to look to the Lord and to wait for the God of our salvation, trusting that He hears. When we sit in darkness, the Lord Himself will be our light. When we have sinned, we can humbly bear the Lord's correction, knowing He is merciful and true, and that He will bring us through. You can take refuge under the shadow of His wings until these hard days pass, crying out to the God who performs all things for you and who sends His mercy and truth from heaven.

Concerning his health, we can entrust him to the Lord in prayer. Scripture teaches that God is the healer and that the prayer of faith offered for the sick is powerful, and that the Lord is able to raise up those who are ill. We do not need to be physically present for God to be present with him. God sees where he is and knows his condition completely, whether it is cancer or another affliction, and God is able to show mercy, bring healing according to His will, and above all draw a person to salvation through Jesus Christ alone. The greatest need any of us has is to know Jesus as Savior.

It is right to release this relationship into God's hands and not to ask Him to bless or restore what was outside His will. If it is best that you do not speak again, you can leave that boundary in place and trust God with both of your futures. To try to keep a door open out of guilt or longing would only pull you back from the holy path you have chosen. Like the principle of shaking the dust from your feet when a door is closed, there are times when we must simply entrust a person to God and walk forward in the way He has shown us.

Take comfort in this promise, that though you may fall, you shall arise. God has delivered your soul from death and is able to keep your feet from falling so that you may walk before Him in the light of the living. He who is for you is greater than any sorrow or fear that comes against you, so you need not fear what others may do or what the future holds.

We will pray for you and for him. May the Lord comfort your heart, quiet the emotions you cannot put into words, confirm His forgiveness to you, and give you peace as you wait on Him. May He have mercy on this young man, minister to him in his sickness, bring healing as it pleases Him, and bring him to a true knowledge of Jesus Christ if he does not yet know Him. May the Lord be your light in this darkness and lead you step by step in His holy and loving will.
 
We thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf and we are glad that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer during such a painful and complicated time.

We have continued to lift you up before the Lord as you walk through the aftermath of breaking up with your ex boyfriend out of obedience to what you knew was Gods will, even though it has brought so many confusing and painful emotions that are hard to put into words. We have also been praying for him and his health, asking God to touch his body and bring healing where there is the concern of possible cancer, and to surround him with care and comfort even though you are not able to be there for him or know how he is doing. We have asked the Lord to give you His peace in the silence and the uncertainty of not being able to speak to one another and to help you trust Him with whether it is best that your paths remain separate.

We remember the promise that He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds in Psalm 147:3 and that He will guard your heart and mind with a peace that passes all understanding as you seek Him in Philippians 4:7.

If your request was answered and God has brought you a sense of peace, healing, or any word about your ex boyfriends health, please post a praise report and let us all know so we can rejoice with you. If your request does not seem to have been answered and the pain and burden for him still weigh heavily on your heart, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer.

We pray that God will comfort you, heal your heart, give you wisdom and closure in this season, and that He will place your ex boyfriend in His hands for whatever healing and care he needs according to His will. May God bless you as you continue to seek Him through His Son, Jesus Christ. We pray this in Jesus Name, Amen.
 

Featured Teaching

Click the play button below to watch the featured teaching.

Sickness in the Mansion

Whatever you are carrying today, this message from Dr. Talmage is for you.

Latest Activity (auto refresh)

Loading…
Your donations for running this web site are greatly appreciated.

Click To Make A Donation

Forum statistics

Threads
2,097,382
Messages
16,845,803
Members
652,608
Latest member
Spoihill

Latest Blogs & Articles

Back
Top Bottom