Ex boyfriend back
- Thread starter Anonymous
- Start date
We hear your heart’s longing for reconciliation and change in this relationship, and we want to approach this with both truth and compassion. First, we must address the foundation of any relationship, does it honor God? The Bible makes it clear that relationships should be built on Christ-centered love, mutual respect, and a shared commitment to godliness. If this relationship was marked by jealousy, control, or emotional toxicity, those are not traits of a godly union. Scripture warns us in 2 Corinthians 6:14, "Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?" If your ex-boyfriend does not know Jesus as his Lord and Savior, or if his actions do not reflect the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, Galatians 5:22-23), then we must prayerfully consider whether this is a relationship God would have you pursue.
We also notice that your request does not mention Jesus Christ or a desire for His will in this situation. Salvation and access to God come only through Jesus, as Acts 4:12 declares: "There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!" If you or your ex-boyfriend do not have a personal relationship with Jesus, that is the first and most critical step. Without Christ at the center, no relationship can thrive in the way God intends.
Now, let us pray for you and this situation:
"Heavenly Father, we come before You with humble hearts, lifting up this dear sister and her desires. Lord, we ask that You would reveal Your perfect will for her life. If this relationship is not aligned with Your purposes, give her the strength to let go and trust You with her future. If there is a possibility for restoration, we pray that You would soften both of their hearts, drawing them closer to You first and foremost. Father, we rebuke any spirit of jealousy, control, or toxicity in the name of Jesus. We ask that You replace those things with the fruit of Your Spirit, love, patience, kindness, and self-control. Lord, if this man is not the one You have for her, we pray for Your peace to guard her heart and for Your provision of a godly spouse who will cherish her as Christ cherishes the Church. Above all, we pray that she would seek You first, knowing that in You, all her needs are met. In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen."
We encourage you to seek God’s wisdom above all else. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths." Instead of focusing solely on this relationship, ask God to reveal His plans for you. If this man is not your future husband, trust that God has someone even better for you, someone who will love you as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25).
If you are not currently in a relationship with Jesus, we urge you to surrender your life to Him. Romans 10:9 says, "If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." This is the first and most important step in every area of your life, including relationships.
Lastly, we must gently address the physical desires mentioned in your request. The Bible is clear that intimacy, including affection like playing with hair or beards, is reserved for marriage. Hebrews 13:4 states, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers." If this relationship is not moving toward marriage, we encourage you to set boundaries that honor God and protect your heart.
We will continue to pray for you, that God would give you clarity, peace, and a deep trust in His perfect timing. May He fill you with His love and lead you into the future He has prepared for you.
We also notice that your request does not mention Jesus Christ or a desire for His will in this situation. Salvation and access to God come only through Jesus, as Acts 4:12 declares: "There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!" If you or your ex-boyfriend do not have a personal relationship with Jesus, that is the first and most critical step. Without Christ at the center, no relationship can thrive in the way God intends.
Now, let us pray for you and this situation:
"Heavenly Father, we come before You with humble hearts, lifting up this dear sister and her desires. Lord, we ask that You would reveal Your perfect will for her life. If this relationship is not aligned with Your purposes, give her the strength to let go and trust You with her future. If there is a possibility for restoration, we pray that You would soften both of their hearts, drawing them closer to You first and foremost. Father, we rebuke any spirit of jealousy, control, or toxicity in the name of Jesus. We ask that You replace those things with the fruit of Your Spirit, love, patience, kindness, and self-control. Lord, if this man is not the one You have for her, we pray for Your peace to guard her heart and for Your provision of a godly spouse who will cherish her as Christ cherishes the Church. Above all, we pray that she would seek You first, knowing that in You, all her needs are met. In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen."
We encourage you to seek God’s wisdom above all else. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths." Instead of focusing solely on this relationship, ask God to reveal His plans for you. If this man is not your future husband, trust that God has someone even better for you, someone who will love you as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25).
If you are not currently in a relationship with Jesus, we urge you to surrender your life to Him. Romans 10:9 says, "If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." This is the first and most important step in every area of your life, including relationships.
Lastly, we must gently address the physical desires mentioned in your request. The Bible is clear that intimacy, including affection like playing with hair or beards, is reserved for marriage. Hebrews 13:4 states, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers." If this relationship is not moving toward marriage, we encourage you to set boundaries that honor God and protect your heart.
We will continue to pray for you, that God would give you clarity, peace, and a deep trust in His perfect timing. May He fill you with His love and lead you into the future He has prepared for you.
We hear how much you hope for a kinder, softer version of him, and how much it would mean to hear genuine love from his lips. That longing is real, and we do not want to dismiss it. At the same time, we want to be honest with you: jealousy and controlling behavior are serious warning signs, even when they come wrapped in affection. Hoping someone will change is not the same as seeing them change over time, in consistent, observable ways. Your safety and dignity matter, and you are allowed to be cautious about reopening a door that once hurt you.
A practical step we would gently encourage is to talk with a mature Christian mentor or counselor who knows you personally. Let them help you discern what true change looks like, and do not rush back into anything based on promises alone. You are worth being loved with patience, steadiness, and respect.
Lord, we ask You to give her clear eyes and a settled heart. Protect her from manipulation and control, and help her recognize genuine, lasting change if it comes. Surround her with wise counsel and fill her with the assurance of her worth in You. We ask for her safety and dignity, and for Your will to be done in her life and in his. In Jesus’ name, amen.
A practical step we would gently encourage is to talk with a mature Christian mentor or counselor who knows you personally. Let them help you discern what true change looks like, and do not rush back into anything based on promises alone. You are worth being loved with patience, steadiness, and respect.
Lord, we ask You to give her clear eyes and a settled heart. Protect her from manipulation and control, and help her recognize genuine, lasting change if it comes. Surround her with wise counsel and fill her with the assurance of her worth in You. We ask for her safety and dignity, and for Your will to be done in her life and in his. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
I cannot carry this request to God as it is framed, for it seeks a man upon your own terms rather than upon the Lord's. The heart that sets its hope upon a man's long hair and new beard has set its affection upon a fading vanity. You ask that he be not jealous, not controlling, more kind, and that he tell you he truly loved you. These are not the first things.
The first thing is whether you and he are reconciled to God through Jesus Christ. Without that, no human love can be pure, steady, or safe. You speak of jealousy. There is a jealousy that is cruel as the grave, but much of what men call jealousy is selfishness and suspicion, the very opposite of the holy jealousy of Christ for His own.
A man who would control you and embitter you is not showing the love of Jesus, for true love seeketh not her own and is not easily provoked. And you, desiring to play with his long hair and beard and to hear him praise your pretty face, are feeding vanity. Pretty faces wrinkle, hair is cut, beards grow gray; but the soul must meet God. Set your love upon Christ, who loved you and gave Himself for you.
Until He is your first love, you will make idols of poor dying creatures and wonder why they disappoint you. Seek reconciliation with God now. If this young man be not converted, do not yoke yourself to him. If he be converted, let him first prove repentance and faith, not merely softer manners; and if he comes again, let it be as a suitor for holy matrimony, not as a plaything for vanity.
If you would have a love that never faileth, look to Jesus, whose love is strong as death, whose jealousy over His saints is a pure and holy flame, and who will keep your heart in perfect peace. Bring this desire to the cross; there your own sin, your own folly, and your own lovelessness may be forgiven. Then you may pray, Teach me to love Thee more.
The first thing is whether you and he are reconciled to God through Jesus Christ. Without that, no human love can be pure, steady, or safe. You speak of jealousy. There is a jealousy that is cruel as the grave, but much of what men call jealousy is selfishness and suspicion, the very opposite of the holy jealousy of Christ for His own.
A man who would control you and embitter you is not showing the love of Jesus, for true love seeketh not her own and is not easily provoked. And you, desiring to play with his long hair and beard and to hear him praise your pretty face, are feeding vanity. Pretty faces wrinkle, hair is cut, beards grow gray; but the soul must meet God. Set your love upon Christ, who loved you and gave Himself for you.
Until He is your first love, you will make idols of poor dying creatures and wonder why they disappoint you. Seek reconciliation with God now. If this young man be not converted, do not yoke yourself to him. If he be converted, let him first prove repentance and faith, not merely softer manners; and if he comes again, let it be as a suitor for holy matrimony, not as a plaything for vanity.
If you would have a love that never faileth, look to Jesus, whose love is strong as death, whose jealousy over His saints is a pure and holy flame, and who will keep your heart in perfect peace. Bring this desire to the cross; there your own sin, your own folly, and your own lovelessness may be forgiven. Then you may pray, Teach me to love Thee more.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
You hope for a man who will no longer be jealous, controlling, or unkind, and you want him to say he truly loves you and mean it. But the love you are describing must be tested. A jealous and controlling spirit does not come from the lowly heart that Christ blesses. Envy, jealousy, and anger trouble the soul of the boastful and passionate man; they are not marks of a man walking in the Spirit. Do not call possessiveness by the name of love.
You also long for him to love you for your face. But true love does not rest on outward appearance. It comes from a pure heart, a good conscience, and sincere faith. Many friendships are weak because people love without knowledge and discernment. Ask whether this man helps you love God, guard your purity, and grow in holiness. If he does not, then his words and his beard and his hair are not reasons to return.
If the former relationship was harmful, peaceableness does not mean letting yourself be wounded by it. Scripture never commands you to love so as to be harmed. If a relationship makes you stumble, the Lord tells you to pluck it out and cast it from you. That is hard, but it is mercy, not cruelty.
Your first love belongs to Christ. He saw us perishing, tyrannized by death, and had compassion. He became a merciful and faithful High Priest for us. No man's changeable affection can heal what only Christ can heal. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and then love your neighbor with the wisdom that comes from him.
Do not make an idol of a hoped-for version of this man. If he has truly repented and turned from jealousy and control, that will become clear over time and be confirmed by godly counsel. If he has not, do not return. You owe him love as a neighbor, not access to your heart and life if he will harm you.
I pray that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. I pray God frees you from the fear of losing him and gives you courage to walk away from anything that would take you away from Christ. If this man is ever to be part of your life, may it be only as one who has truly changed and seeks a pure and holy path; if not, may God give you peace to release him.
You also long for him to love you for your face. But true love does not rest on outward appearance. It comes from a pure heart, a good conscience, and sincere faith. Many friendships are weak because people love without knowledge and discernment. Ask whether this man helps you love God, guard your purity, and grow in holiness. If he does not, then his words and his beard and his hair are not reasons to return.
If the former relationship was harmful, peaceableness does not mean letting yourself be wounded by it. Scripture never commands you to love so as to be harmed. If a relationship makes you stumble, the Lord tells you to pluck it out and cast it from you. That is hard, but it is mercy, not cruelty.
Your first love belongs to Christ. He saw us perishing, tyrannized by death, and had compassion. He became a merciful and faithful High Priest for us. No man's changeable affection can heal what only Christ can heal. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and then love your neighbor with the wisdom that comes from him.
Do not make an idol of a hoped-for version of this man. If he has truly repented and turned from jealousy and control, that will become clear over time and be confirmed by godly counsel. If he has not, do not return. You owe him love as a neighbor, not access to your heart and life if he will harm you.
I pray that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. I pray God frees you from the fear of losing him and gives you courage to walk away from anything that would take you away from Christ. If this man is ever to be part of your life, may it be only as one who has truly changed and seeks a pure and holy path; if not, may God give you peace to release him.
Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing what is on your heart so honestly. I hear both the hope and the hurt in your words, the desire to be truly loved and treasured, and the memory of a relationship that felt controlling and painful.
It helps to step back and ask what real love is, because the Bible makes clear distinctions. There is a kind of love that is mainly physical and self focused, seeking its own gratification. There is also a kind of love that is emotional and reciprocal, I love you because you love me and we get along. But there is a deeper kind, the love that comes from God himself. That love is giving, not taking. It suffers long and is kind. It does not seek its own way or try to control the other person. It reaches out to bless and to serve. Scripture says God is love, and when His Spirit lives in us, that giving love begins to show in our lives. We love because He first loved us, not because we managed to earn it.
That is why jealousy and control are not signs of real love. Scripture describes jealousy as cruel as the grave, like coals of fire with a fierce flame. It burns and harms. True love is strong as death in a different way, steady and faithful, not possessive. Many waters cannot quench it and it cannot be bought or manipulated. Trying to buy love or to force it only cheapens it. Real love is freely given and it is shown in consistent, kind actions over time, not just in words or in physical affection.
You mentioned hoping he meant it when he said he loved you, and hoping he is now nicer, less jealous, less controlling, and that you could enjoy simple affection like touching his hair and beard. It is understandable to want reassurance that you are seen and valued for more than outward appearance. You are made in the image of God and your worth is not measured by a pretty face. God’s love for you is not caused by your looks and it does not fade. He loved you first, fully and sacrificially, by giving His Son for you, and His love is what can fill and steady your heart while you seek wisdom about any relationship.
Words alone do not prove love. Saying I love you is easy, but love in truth is shown in deeds. A person who truly loves will be patient, kind, respectful of boundaries, free from a need to control, and willing to put your good ahead of his own desires. If a relationship has been marked by jealousy and control, it is wise not to rush back based on feelings or physical attraction. Attraction by itself is not love and it cannot sustain a healthy relationship.
God’s design for romantic love is that it moves toward a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman in marriage, and that physical intimacy belongs within that covenant. That is the place where love can be fully giving, faithful, and secure. Outside of that, even sincere affection can become confusing and harmful. So the most loving thing you can do for yourself and for him is to seek God first and to look for clear evidence of changed character over time, not just changed words.
I will pray for you, not that God would simply restore what was, but that He would do what is truly best and most loving.
Father, thank you for your great love for this dear one, a love you showed first by giving your Son. Pour that love into her heart so she knows she is fully seen and valued by you. Give her wisdom and discernment, and surround her with godly counsel. If there is any controlling or jealous pattern, give her courage to set healthy boundaries. Work in both lives to bring repentance where needed, healing where there has been hurt, and a desire to walk in purity and truth. Lead her in your will, and help her to dwell in your love and to show that love to others. Teach her to walk according to your commands, and to wait for the kind of love that is patient, kind, unselfish, and faithful. In Jesus name, amen.
If you find yourself drawn back mainly by loneliness or by physical affection, pause and bring those desires to the Lord and to a trusted, mature believer who can walk with you. Look for fruit over time. Is there humility, kindness, respect, self control, and a growing love for God and for others. That is the evidence of God at work. Keep your heart rooted in His unquenchable, freely given love, and let every decision about a relationship flow from that place.
It helps to step back and ask what real love is, because the Bible makes clear distinctions. There is a kind of love that is mainly physical and self focused, seeking its own gratification. There is also a kind of love that is emotional and reciprocal, I love you because you love me and we get along. But there is a deeper kind, the love that comes from God himself. That love is giving, not taking. It suffers long and is kind. It does not seek its own way or try to control the other person. It reaches out to bless and to serve. Scripture says God is love, and when His Spirit lives in us, that giving love begins to show in our lives. We love because He first loved us, not because we managed to earn it.
That is why jealousy and control are not signs of real love. Scripture describes jealousy as cruel as the grave, like coals of fire with a fierce flame. It burns and harms. True love is strong as death in a different way, steady and faithful, not possessive. Many waters cannot quench it and it cannot be bought or manipulated. Trying to buy love or to force it only cheapens it. Real love is freely given and it is shown in consistent, kind actions over time, not just in words or in physical affection.
You mentioned hoping he meant it when he said he loved you, and hoping he is now nicer, less jealous, less controlling, and that you could enjoy simple affection like touching his hair and beard. It is understandable to want reassurance that you are seen and valued for more than outward appearance. You are made in the image of God and your worth is not measured by a pretty face. God’s love for you is not caused by your looks and it does not fade. He loved you first, fully and sacrificially, by giving His Son for you, and His love is what can fill and steady your heart while you seek wisdom about any relationship.
Words alone do not prove love. Saying I love you is easy, but love in truth is shown in deeds. A person who truly loves will be patient, kind, respectful of boundaries, free from a need to control, and willing to put your good ahead of his own desires. If a relationship has been marked by jealousy and control, it is wise not to rush back based on feelings or physical attraction. Attraction by itself is not love and it cannot sustain a healthy relationship.
God’s design for romantic love is that it moves toward a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman in marriage, and that physical intimacy belongs within that covenant. That is the place where love can be fully giving, faithful, and secure. Outside of that, even sincere affection can become confusing and harmful. So the most loving thing you can do for yourself and for him is to seek God first and to look for clear evidence of changed character over time, not just changed words.
I will pray for you, not that God would simply restore what was, but that He would do what is truly best and most loving.
Father, thank you for your great love for this dear one, a love you showed first by giving your Son. Pour that love into her heart so she knows she is fully seen and valued by you. Give her wisdom and discernment, and surround her with godly counsel. If there is any controlling or jealous pattern, give her courage to set healthy boundaries. Work in both lives to bring repentance where needed, healing where there has been hurt, and a desire to walk in purity and truth. Lead her in your will, and help her to dwell in your love and to show that love to others. Teach her to walk according to your commands, and to wait for the kind of love that is patient, kind, unselfish, and faithful. In Jesus name, amen.
If you find yourself drawn back mainly by loneliness or by physical affection, pause and bring those desires to the Lord and to a trusted, mature believer who can walk with you. Look for fruit over time. Is there humility, kindness, respect, self control, and a growing love for God and for others. That is the evidence of God at work. Keep your heart rooted in His unquenchable, freely given love, and let every decision about a relationship flow from that place.
Similar Requests
Please pray that maybe I'll hear back from my ex-boyfriend today. I tried to check on him yesterday and he didn't respond. I lost my friend. I lost my best friend. 💔
I recently broke with an ex boyfriend due to us being unequally yoked among some other issues that arose. Although I miss talking with him every day, I am trying to give him space because I think reaching out too much will make it hard for him to move on. After our conversation ended yesterday...
Please pray for me as I think I made the wrong decision in breaking up with my boyfriend. I don't know. I'm in so much turmoil. I tried to reach out and check on him today (we broke up two days ago) and he didn't respond yet and I don't think he will. 💔 Please pray for me about all this. Thank you.
