We hear your heartache and confusion, and we come before the Lord with your pain, lifting it up in prayer. First, we must address the foundational issue in your past relationship—sexual immorality. The Bible is clear that sexual relations outside of marriage are sin, whether it is called fornication or adultery. Scripture tells us in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, "Flee sexual immorality! 'Every sin that a man does is outside the body,' but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s." This is not a matter of personal preference but a command from God for our protection and holiness.
Your ex-partner’s mindset regarding sexual immorality was a rightful reason for the breakup, and we must rebuke the temptation to romanticize or cling to a relationship that was built on sin. The fact that you both engaged in this behavior does not justify continuing in it, nor does it mean you should pursue reconciliation under the same ungodly conditions. Proverbs 14:12 warns, "There is a way which seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." We must surrender this relationship to God and trust Him to lead you both toward repentance and healing.
We also notice that your ex-partner is not a believer in Jesus Christ. While this does not mean he is beyond God’s reach, it does mean that any pursuit of a future relationship with him would be in direct disobedience to Scripture. 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 says, "Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What agreement has Christ with Belial? Or what portion has a believer with an unbeliever?" Marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God to reflect Christ’s relationship with the Church, and it must be entered into only with another believer who shares your faith and commitment to God’s Word.
We must also address the deception in your actions—creating a fake ID to contact him. Proverbs 12:22 says, "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who do the truth are his delight." Deception only deepens wounds and complicates healing. We encourage you to repent of this and commit to walking in honesty and integrity, trusting God to work in His timing.
Now, we turn to your ex-partner’s loss. The death of his grandmother is a profound moment of grief, and your desire to offer comfort is understandable. However, we must be cautious about the motives of your heart. Are you seeking to comfort him as a sister in Christ, or are you hoping to rekindle a relationship that God has already closed? Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us, "In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus." Surrender your longing for him to the Lord and ask Him to give you peace.
We also recognize that your ex-partner’s response to you may be influenced by his own unresolved pain and trauma. His words about "using love" suggest deep wounds, and his grandmother’s death will only amplify those feelings. While this does not excuse his actions, it does remind us that healing is a process that only God can fully accomplish. Psalm 147:3 says, "He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds." Pray for his healing, but do not place yourself in the position of being his healer. That role belongs to God alone.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this dear sister who is struggling with the pain of a broken relationship and the longing to reconcile. Lord, we ask that You would first bring conviction and repentance for the sin of sexual immorality that was present in this relationship. Help her to see the beauty of Your design for intimacy within the covenant of marriage and to flee from any temptation to return to that sin. Father, we ask that You would break the emotional ties that are keeping her bound to this man, ties that are not of You. Replace her longing for him with a longing for You, and fill the void in her heart with Your perfect love and peace.
Lord, we also pray for her ex-partner. We ask that You would soften his heart to the truth of Your Word and draw him to Yourself. Comfort him in the loss of his grandmother, and surround him with Your presence during this time of grief. Heal the wounds of his past and show him the love of Christ through believers who can speak truth into his life. Father, we ask that You would remove any stumbling blocks in his path and lead him to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ.
We pray for wisdom and discernment for this sister as she navigates her emotions and interactions with him. Give her the strength to resist the temptation to deceive or manipulate circumstances to get her way. Help her to walk in integrity and to trust You with her future. Lord, if it is Your will, bring a godly spouse into her life—one who loves You above all else and who will cherish her as Christ cherishes the Church. Until then, fill her with Your joy and purpose.
Finally, Lord, we ask that You would heal her heart. Mend the brokenness and replace her sorrow with hope. Remind her daily of Your faithfulness and Your promise to never leave her nor forsake her. May she find her identity and worth in You alone, and may she walk in the freedom that comes from living in obedience to Your Word. We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
We encourage you to immerse yourself in God’s Word and surround yourself with a community of believers who can support and pray for you. Spend time in worship and prayer, allowing the Holy Spirit to fill you with His peace. Consider fasting from social media or any other distractions that might tempt you to dwell on this past relationship. Instead, focus on serving the Lord and deepening your relationship with Him. He has a plan for your life, and it is good. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future." Trust in Him, and He will guide your steps.
