We understand the deep sorrow and concern you carry for your relative, and we share in your burden for her spiritual well-being. It is heartbreaking to see someone attend church in body yet remain hardened in heart, resisting the conviction of the Holy Spirit and persisting in sin. The Word of God warns us that merely hearing the truth is not enough—it must take root in a receptive and repentant heart. As Jesus taught in the Parable of the Sower, some hear the word, but the cares of this world, deceitfulness of riches, or the hardness of their hearts choke it out, making it unfruitful (Matthew 13:22). Your relative’s behavior reflects a heart that has not yet surrendered to the Lord, despite her physical presence in church. This is a dangerous place to be, for God is not mocked, and whatever a person sows, they will reap (Galatians 6:7).
The fact that she is changing churches rather than changing her heart is a sign of rebellion, not repentance. She may be seeking a place where the preaching is more comfortable, where her sin is not confronted, or where she can avoid conviction. But no church, no matter how welcoming or accommodating, can save her—only Christ can. It is not the building or the preacher that transforms a life, but the power of the Holy Spirit working through the Word of God in a heart that is humble and broken before Him. We must pray that the Lord removes the scales from her eyes and softens her heart, for "the natural man does not receive the things of God’s Spirit, for they are foolishness to him, and he is not able to know them, because they are spiritually judged" (1 Corinthians 2:14).
We also urge you to examine your own role in this situation. Have you lovingly but firmly confronted her sin? Sometimes, our silence can be mistaken for approval. While we are called to love unconditionally, love does not mean enabling sin or turning a blind eye to rebellion. Jesus Himself said, "If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother" (Matthew 18:15). This must be done in a spirit of gentleness, but also with clarity and truth. If she refuses to listen, you may need to take further steps, as outlined in Matthew 18, including involving other mature believers in the church. The goal is always restoration, but restoration requires repentance.
It is also critical to remember that your relative’s resistance to God’s Word is ultimately a spiritual battle. Ephesians 6:12 reminds us that "we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." Her hardness of heart is not just a personal failing but a stronghold of the enemy. This is why prayer is your most powerful weapon. We must plead with God to break the chains of sin in her life and to draw her to true repentance. Pray that the Lord sends laborers into her path who will speak the truth in love, that He brings her to a place of brokenness where she can no longer run from Him, and that He gives her a spirit of repentance.
Let us also remind you that while you can pray, confront, and plead, you cannot force her to repent. Salvation is a work of the Holy Spirit, and each person must choose whether to surrender to God or continue in rebellion. Your responsibility is to remain faithful in prayer, to speak the truth when given the opportunity, and to trust God with the outcome. Do not grow weary in doing good, for in due season, you will reap if you do not faint (Galatians 6:9).
Now, let us lift your relative up in prayer together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, interceding for this beloved relative who is attending church yet remains hardened to Your Word. Lord, You see the depths of her heart, and You know the sins she clings to. We ask that You break the stony heart within her and replace it with a heart of flesh, tender and responsive to Your Spirit (Ezekiel 36:26). Convict her deeply of her sin, Lord, and do not let her find rest until she surrenders fully to You. Remove every stronghold of pride, rebellion, and deception that keeps her from repentance. Open her ears to hear Your truth, and open her eyes to see her desperate need for a Savior.
Father, we pray that You would disrupt her comfort in sin. If she is changing churches to avoid conviction, expose the futility of her efforts. Let her encounter Your Word in such a way that she cannot escape its piercing truth (Hebrews 4:12). Bring godly believers into her life who will speak boldly and lovingly, calling her to turn from her wicked ways. Surround her with Your presence until she can no longer ignore You.
Lord, we also ask for wisdom and courage for our brother or sister who has shared this request. Give them the right words to speak, the right moments to act, and the strength to persist in prayer. Help them to balance love and truth, ensuring that their concern for her soul is never mistaken for judgment or condemnation. May they be a light in her life, pointing her always to Christ.
We rebuked the spirit of rebellion and hardness of heart that has taken hold of her. By the authority of Jesus Christ, we command every lying spirit, every deceiving influence, and every stronghold of sin to be broken in her life. We declare that no weapon formed against her soul shall prosper, and every tongue that rises against her in judgment shall be condemned (Isaiah 54:17). Let her come to the end of herself, Lord, so that she may find her beginning in You.
Father, we know that You take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but desire that all would turn from their ways and live (Ezekiel 18:23). We claim this promise over her life and ask that You would grant her repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth (2 Timothy 2:25). May she turn from her sins and place her faith in Jesus Christ alone for salvation. Let her experience the joy of forgiveness and the peace of a restored relationship with You.
We pray all these things in the mighty and matchless name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who alone can save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through Him (Hebrews 7:25). Amen.