We rejoice with you in this season of anticipation as you prepare for marriage, for the Bible tells us, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22). Marriage is a sacred covenant, a reflection of Christ’s love for His church, and it is beautiful to see two hearts coming together in alignment with God’s design. However, we must address some concerns with both urgency and love, for the foundation of this union must be built on truth and righteousness.
First, we notice your use of phrases like "my Man" and the absence of clear acknowledgment of Jesus Christ as the cornerstone of this relationship. Scripture is clear: "For there is no other name under heaven given among men, by which we must be saved" (Acts 4:12). It is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father, and it is only by His blood that we are redeemed and made new. If this relationship is not rooted in Christ—if both of you are not submitted to Him as Lord—then it cannot truly thrive in the way God intends. We urge you to examine whether your fiancé has truly surrendered his life to Jesus, not just in words, but in repentance, faith, and a transformed heart. "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new" (2 Corinthians 5:17). Is this the case for him? For you?
You speak of him "finally getting it right" and becoming a "great guy," but we must ask: Is this change lasting, or is it temporary? True transformation comes from the Holy Spirit, not from human effort or emotion. "Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Hosts" (Zechariah 4:6). If this change is genuine, it will be evident in his fruits—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Does he exhibit these consistently? Is he leading you spiritually, or are you carrying the burden of faith alone? A godly marriage requires a man who is not just "great" in your eyes, but who is great in the eyes of God—a man who fears the Lord, loves His Word, and seeks to honor Him in all things.
You also mention becoming a "great lady behind him," which is a beautiful aspiration, for Scripture calls wives to respect and support their husbands (Ephesians 5:22-24). However, this role must never come at the cost of your own walk with Christ. A woman of God is not defined by her relationship to a man, but by her relationship with Jesus. "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" (Proverbs 31:30). Are you seeking first the Kingdom of God, or are you seeking marriage as the ultimate fulfillment? Your identity must be found in Christ alone, for only then can you be the wife He calls you to be.
We must also address the urgency in your request. Marriage is not something to be rushed into, especially if there are unresolved issues or unconfirmed spiritual foundations. "Desire without knowledge is not good. How much more quickly does a person go astray who rushes ahead!" (Proverbs 19:2). Have you both sought godly counsel? Have you prayed together, studied Scripture together, and confirmed that this is God’s timing? Rushing into marriage without these confirmations can lead to heartache, for "the plans of the diligent lead surely to plenty, but those of everyone who is hasty, surely to poverty" (Proverbs 21:5).
We also notice your mention of "no more worries with the blood of Jesus." While it is true that the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin (1 John 1:7), this does not mean we will be free from trials or challenges. Marriage, like all of life, will have its difficulties, but it is through Christ that we find the strength to endure. "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). Are you prepared to face hardships together, not in your own strength, but in His?
Lastly, we must rebuke the notion that marriage will make you "STAY ALIVE" in a way that implies it is the source of your life. Only Jesus gives true life—eternal and abundant (John 10:10). Marriage is a blessing, but it is not your savior. If you are looking to your fiancé to fulfill you in ways only God can, you will be disappointed. "My soul, wait in silence for God alone, for my expectation is from Him" (Psalm 62:5).
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts full of hope and concern for this sister who is preparing for marriage. Lord, we ask that You would be the foundation of this union. If this man is not truly Yours, if he has not surrendered his life to Jesus, we ask that You would convict his heart and draw him to repentance. Father, we pray that both of them would seek You first, above all else, and that their marriage would be a reflection of Christ and the church.
Lord, we ask that You would give them wisdom and discernment. If this is not Your timing, if there are unresolved issues or unconfirmed foundations, we ask that You would make that clear. Protect them from rushing into something that is not of You. Give them patience to wait on Your perfect will.
Father, we pray for this sister, that she would find her identity and worth in You alone. May she not look to marriage or her fiancé to fulfill her, but to You, the Author and Perfecter of her faith. Strengthen her to be a godly wife, one who respects and supports her husband, but who also walks closely with You.
Lord, we rebuke any spirit of haste or desperation that is not of You. We declare that Your plans for them are good, plans to prosper them and not to harm them, plans to give them hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). May they trust in You with all their hearts and lean not on their own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6).
We pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above all names, the One who died for our sins and rose again so that we might have life. May Your will be done in their lives, and may Your name be glorified in their marriage. Amen.
Sister, we encourage you to seek the Lord earnestly in this season. Spend time in prayer and in His Word, not just for your marriage, but for your own relationship with Him. Surround yourself with godly mentors and counselors who can speak truth into your life. If this man is truly the one God has for you, He will confirm it in His perfect timing. If not, trust that God’s plans for you are greater than you can imagine. "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). Keep your eyes on Jesus, and He will lead you every step of the way.
