Double-Mindedness or
the Mind of Christ?
I recently watched the movie “Silver Linings.†I’m not really sure why I did and would NOT recommend it to anyone standing for marriage restoration. But I did and God used a silly Hollywood movie to teach me something. In the movie, Patrick (Bradley Cooper) discovers his wife is having an affair and ends up in a mental hospital. When he gets out he makes a deal with Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence) to be her partner in a dance competition in exchange for her delivering a letter to his wife who has a restraining order against him. Patrick wears his ring and keeps telling everyone he is married. Sound familiar standers? In the end he gets his moment with his wife that he had been working toward the entire movie and ultimately chooses Tiffany. The sad part is that I, even in my situation, found myself wavering between his wife and Tiffany. Obviously, the movie was scripted that way to have a feel-good conclusion and push you toward wanting that.
How could I hope for the movie-version of a covenant marriage to win out while also wanting Patrick to choose Tiffany? Was it my human side that wanted to see revenge against the unfaithful wife? Was it my human side that wanted to see Patrick move on, find love, and be happy? Even in a silly movie, it became apparent that I was battling internally and my mind was going back and forth. I wanted two opposite conclusions. This wavering back and forth, is something James warns about. He calls it being double-minded.
Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. James 1:8
Even as Christians, we continue to battle in our minds. We have a human side, an old sinful nature that can invade our thinking. Many times we fight off the urges and temptations and remain faithful to God. But other times we do the very thing we know we should not do. We react emotionally to something our prodigal said or did, maybe say a harsh word. We begin to lose faith and doubt whether it is possible, or if it is really worth all the pain and heartache. It can drive you crazy because you KNOW the right thing to do, but you have the doubt or you get angry or you speak the wrong thing. Well, you are not alone. Paul, one of the most well respected New Testament Christians, wrote about his struggles with this exact same thing…
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. Romans 7:15-20
As standers, we battle in our minds to remain true to our covenant marriage. How do we beat these doubts, wavering thoughts and double-mindedness? Paul goes on to say that the path beyond this is to live according to the Spirit.
Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. Romans 8:12-13
The key to being led by the Spirit is to spend time with God. It’s not about church attendance or spooky mystical things. It’s about having a relationship with God. Like any other relationship, we spend time together. Did you know that prayer is simply talking with God? You don’t need big majestic, King James style prayers. Be you. Spend time with Him. Tell God about your pain, your struggles, and ask Him for help. God’s primary way of talking to us is through His Word. Ever wonder why the Bible is called the Word of God? That’s how He speaks to us! The Bible is unlike any other book; the Bible is LIVING. God will reveal more and more as you continue to spend time in the Word. Passages you’ve read a hundred times will come alive in new ways as you continue to seek Him. When you fill your mind, heart, and soul with Scripture and spend time in prayer talking to God, you will experience a new and deeper level to your relationship with God. Part of that includes being sensitive to and being led by His spirit.
Being led by the Spirit doesn’t mean we won’t still have internal battles and competing thoughts. But when we can see and follow the Spirit’s leading, we have a direct path through the double-mindedness to become Christ-minded.
…for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?†But we have the mind of Christ. 1 Corinthians 2:16
Having the mind of Christ will help us overcome that double-mindedness. It will help us to continue to stand for our marriage no matter what. It will help guide us in how we think, what we say, and may be the very thing that will reach through the walls and barriers your prodigal spouse has erected and draw them back to a right relationship with God and the restoration of your marriage.
Seeking the Mind of Christ,
Joshua in Kentucky
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
the Mind of Christ?
I recently watched the movie “Silver Linings.†I’m not really sure why I did and would NOT recommend it to anyone standing for marriage restoration. But I did and God used a silly Hollywood movie to teach me something. In the movie, Patrick (Bradley Cooper) discovers his wife is having an affair and ends up in a mental hospital. When he gets out he makes a deal with Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence) to be her partner in a dance competition in exchange for her delivering a letter to his wife who has a restraining order against him. Patrick wears his ring and keeps telling everyone he is married. Sound familiar standers? In the end he gets his moment with his wife that he had been working toward the entire movie and ultimately chooses Tiffany. The sad part is that I, even in my situation, found myself wavering between his wife and Tiffany. Obviously, the movie was scripted that way to have a feel-good conclusion and push you toward wanting that.
How could I hope for the movie-version of a covenant marriage to win out while also wanting Patrick to choose Tiffany? Was it my human side that wanted to see revenge against the unfaithful wife? Was it my human side that wanted to see Patrick move on, find love, and be happy? Even in a silly movie, it became apparent that I was battling internally and my mind was going back and forth. I wanted two opposite conclusions. This wavering back and forth, is something James warns about. He calls it being double-minded.
Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. James 1:8
Even as Christians, we continue to battle in our minds. We have a human side, an old sinful nature that can invade our thinking. Many times we fight off the urges and temptations and remain faithful to God. But other times we do the very thing we know we should not do. We react emotionally to something our prodigal said or did, maybe say a harsh word. We begin to lose faith and doubt whether it is possible, or if it is really worth all the pain and heartache. It can drive you crazy because you KNOW the right thing to do, but you have the doubt or you get angry or you speak the wrong thing. Well, you are not alone. Paul, one of the most well respected New Testament Christians, wrote about his struggles with this exact same thing…
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. Romans 7:15-20
As standers, we battle in our minds to remain true to our covenant marriage. How do we beat these doubts, wavering thoughts and double-mindedness? Paul goes on to say that the path beyond this is to live according to the Spirit.
Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. Romans 8:12-13
The key to being led by the Spirit is to spend time with God. It’s not about church attendance or spooky mystical things. It’s about having a relationship with God. Like any other relationship, we spend time together. Did you know that prayer is simply talking with God? You don’t need big majestic, King James style prayers. Be you. Spend time with Him. Tell God about your pain, your struggles, and ask Him for help. God’s primary way of talking to us is through His Word. Ever wonder why the Bible is called the Word of God? That’s how He speaks to us! The Bible is unlike any other book; the Bible is LIVING. God will reveal more and more as you continue to spend time in the Word. Passages you’ve read a hundred times will come alive in new ways as you continue to seek Him. When you fill your mind, heart, and soul with Scripture and spend time in prayer talking to God, you will experience a new and deeper level to your relationship with God. Part of that includes being sensitive to and being led by His spirit.
Being led by the Spirit doesn’t mean we won’t still have internal battles and competing thoughts. But when we can see and follow the Spirit’s leading, we have a direct path through the double-mindedness to become Christ-minded.
…for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?†But we have the mind of Christ. 1 Corinthians 2:16
Having the mind of Christ will help us overcome that double-mindedness. It will help us to continue to stand for our marriage no matter what. It will help guide us in how we think, what we say, and may be the very thing that will reach through the walls and barriers your prodigal spouse has erected and draw them back to a right relationship with God and the restoration of your marriage.
Seeking the Mind of Christ,
Joshua in Kentucky
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
