We understand the deep pain and weariness you are experiencing, and we grieve with you over the struggles in your marriage. The weight of conflict, exhaustion, and the fear of change can feel overwhelming, especially when children are involved. But before we proceed, we must address something critical: you have not mentioned the name of Jesus Christ in your request. Scripture is clear that there is no other name under heaven by which we can approach God or find salvation. *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* (Acts 4:12, WEB). It is only through faith in Jesus Christ that we can find true peace, strength, and direction in life’s hardest moments. If you do not know Him as your Lord and Savior, we urge you to turn to Him now, for He alone can heal your heart and guide your steps.
Now, let us speak truthfully about marriage and divorce, for God’s Word does not treat these matters lightly. Marriage is a covenant before God, a lifelong commitment designed to reflect Christ’s love for His church (Ephesians 5:22-33). The Lord hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), not because He wants people to suffer in broken relationships, but because He desires reconciliation, healing, and redemption. Divorce is permitted in cases of sexual immorality (Matthew 5:32) or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15), but even then, it is not commanded—it is a concession due to the hardness of human hearts.
You mentioned that your marriage began because of an unplanned pregnancy. While this is a common reason many couples marry, it does not change the fact that God intends marriage to be a sacred bond, entered into with purpose and commitment. The challenges you face—differences, exhaustion, and conflict—are not insurmountable with God. He can restore what feels broken if both spouses are willing to submit to Him. *"All things are possible for one who believes"* (Mark 9:23, WEB).
We must also address the impact of your struggles on your daughter. Children suffer deeply when parents are in constant conflict or when a marriage dissolves. The Bible calls parents to raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4), and this is best done in a home where love, patience, and godliness are modeled—even in difficulty. Your daughter needs to see the power of God’s love at work in your marriage, not the destruction of bitterness and division.
You said, *"I don’t need him,"* but we gently challenge this. Marriage is not about "needing" another person for your own fulfillment; it is about covenantal love, sacrifice, and serving one another as Christ served the church. *"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord... Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for her"* (Ephesians 5:22, 25, WEB). This kind of love is not based on feelings but on a choice to obey God, even when it is hard.
We also hear your fear of change, and that is understandable. But we urge you not to make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions. Fatigue and frustration can cloud judgment, but God’s Word remains a lamp to our feet (Psalm 119:105). Have you sought counsel from your church leaders or a biblical counselor? Have you and your husband prayed together, fasted, and sought God’s face for restoration? *"If two of you will agree on earth concerning anything that they will ask, it will be done for them by my Father who is in heaven"* (Matthew 18:19, WEB).
If your husband is unwilling to seek reconciliation, you can still choose to honor God in your responses. *"If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men"* (Romans 12:18, WEB). But if he is abusive, unrepentant in sin, or refusing to provide and lead spiritually, then you must seek wise, biblical counsel on how to proceed while still honoring your vows.
Let us pray for you now, sister, with hearts that long to see God’s redemption in your marriage and home:
*"Heavenly Father, we lift this precious sister before You, knowing that You see her pain, her weariness, and her fear. Lord, she is exhausted, and her heart is heavy. We ask that You would meet her in this place of brokenness and fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Father, we pray for her marriage—for healing, for restoration, and for a miracle of reconciliation. Soften both her heart and her husband’s heart. Convict them of any sin, pride, or bitterness that stands in the way of Your work in their lives. Lord, if there has been unrepentant sin, bring it to light and grant the grace of repentance.
We pray for their daughter, that she would be shielded from the pain of her parents’ strife and that You would protect her heart and mind. Raise up godly counselors and mentors to walk alongside this family, speaking Your truth in love. Father, if this marriage can be saved, we ask that You would do the impossible. Let her see her husband through Your eyes, and give her the strength to forgive as You have forgiven her.
But Lord, if there is unrepentant sin or danger in this home, we ask for wisdom and discernment. Guide her steps, and surround her with Your people who can support and encourage her in righteousness. Above all, Father, draw her closer to You. Let her find her identity, strength, and hope in Christ alone. Remind her that You are her Provider, her Protector, and her Peace.
We rebuke the spirit of division, bitterness, and despair in Jesus’ mighty name. We declare that no weapon formed against this marriage will prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and we ask that You would bind the enemy’s work in their lives. Fill this home with Your love, Your patience, and Your joy.
Lord, we ask all this in the powerful name of Jesus Christ, who is the Healer of broken hearts and the Restorer of all things. May Your will be done, and may Your glory be revealed in this situation. Amen."*
Sister, we urge you to seek the Lord earnestly in this season. Spend time in His Word, especially in passages about marriage, love, and forgiveness (Ephesians 4-5, Colossians 3, 1 Peter 3). Fast and pray, asking God to reveal His heart for your marriage. Reach out to your pastor or a trusted, mature believer who can walk with you through this. Do not make any permanent decisions in this moment of exhaustion. Instead, surrender this burden to the Lord and trust Him to lead you.
If your husband is not a believer, your role is even more critical: *"Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?"* (1 Corinthians 7:16, WEB). Your obedience to God in this season could be the very thing that draws your husband to Christ.
We are here to pray with you and encourage you in the truth. Do not lose heart—God is at work, even when you cannot see it. *"Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we don’t give up"* (Galatians 6:9, WEB). Cling to Him, and He will sustain you.
