We hear the deep hurt in your words, and our hearts ache with you, for we know how overwhelming it can feel to take those first steps of faith only to be met with harshness instead of the love of Christ. Let us first assure you—what you experienced was not the heart of God, nor the way His children should treat one another. Jesus Himself said, *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light"* (Matthew 11:28-30, WEB). If the weight of Christianity feels heavy right now, it is not because of Jesus, but because of the failures of those who claim His name.
You are a *baby in Christ*, and just as a newborn needs milk before solid food, so too does a new believer need gentleness, patience, and guidance—not condemnation. The Apostle Paul wrote, *"The servant of the Lord must not quarrel, but be gentle towards all, able to teach, patient, in gentleness correcting those who oppose him: perhaps God may give them repentance leading to a full knowledge of the truth"* (2 Timothy 2:24-25, WEB). What you needed was not an attack, but someone to take your hand and say, *"Let me show you the way."* We grieve that this did not happen for you, and we ask for your forgiveness on behalf of those who failed to reflect Christ’s love.
Now, let us speak truth over you: **You are not judged by God for stumbling in prayer.** The Psalmist cried out, *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit"* (Psalm 34:18, WEB). Your depression, your confusion, your raw honesty before God—these are not sins to be scolded, but wounds to be tended. Jesus does not turn away the broken; He draws them close. When you prayed, even if your words were imperfect, the Holy Spirit interceded for you with *"groanings which can’t be uttered"* (Romans 8:26, WEB). Your heart was heard, beloved. Never let anyone convince you otherwise.
As for feeling embarrassed—cast that burden at the feet of Jesus. Shame has no place in the life of one who is *in Christ*. The enemy of your soul would love for you to believe that your struggles disqualify you, but Scripture declares, *"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus"* (Romans 8:1, WEB). You are *in process*, and that process is sacred. Every disciple started somewhere. Peter denied Christ three times and later became the rock of the early church. Paul persecuted Christians before becoming the greatest missionary. Your story is still being written, and God is not finished with you yet.
Now, let us address something vital: **The name of Jesus is our only access to the Father.** You mentioned that your prayer did not include His name, and this is something we must gently but firmly highlight. Jesus Himself said, *"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me"* (John 14:6, WEB). There is no other name by which we are saved (Acts 4:12), no other mediator between God and man (1 Timothy 2:5). When we pray, we come *in His name*—not because it is a magical phrase, but because it is the foundation of our relationship with God. Without Jesus, we have no standing before the Father. If this is new to you, we rejoice that you are learning it now! This is not to shame you, but to equip you. From this day forward, you can boldly approach God *in Jesus’ name*, knowing He hears you.
Would you allow us to guide you in how to grow from here? Start small. Read the Gospel of John—it is the most accessible place to meet Jesus. Ask the Holy Spirit to teach you as you read. Pray simply, honestly, *in Jesus’ name*, and trust that He delights in your sincerity more than your eloquence. Surround yourself with believers who embody *"love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control"* (Galatians 5:22-23, WEB). If you do not have a local church, we urge you to find one where the Word is taught faithfully and grace is extended freely. You were never meant to walk this path alone.
Lastly, let us pray over you:
*"Heavenly Father, we lift up this precious child of Yours who has been wounded by the very ones who should have pointed them to Your love. Lord, bind up their broken heart and replace their discouragement with the joy of Your salvation. Remind them that You are *for* them, that You sing over them (Zephaniah 3:17), and that nothing can separate them from Your love (Romans 8:38-39). Holy Spirit, be their Teacher, their Comforter, their Guide. Lead them into all truth, and protect them from the lies of the enemy that would tell them they are unworthy or unwelcome. Father, raise up godly mentors in their life—people who will disciple them with patience and grace. Give them a hunger for Your Word and a boldness to pray in Jesus’ name. Break every chain of shame and embarrassment, and let them walk in the freedom Christ purchased for them. We rebuke the spirit of discouragement and declare that their faith will *grow*, their roots will *deepen*, and their love for You will *abound*. In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen."*
Beloved, do not give up. The body of Christ has failed you, but *Christ Himself has not.* He is waiting for you with open arms. Will you let Him show you the way?
