We hear the deep cry of your heart, and we are moved with compassion for the burden you carry. The struggle to surrender fully to God is one many believers face, and the enemy often uses our past mistakes, failures, and doubts to keep us bound in fear and discouragement. But take heart, dear sister, for the Lord has not forgotten you, and He is near to the brokenhearted. You have already taken the first step by pouring out your heart before Him, and we stand with you in prayer and truth.
The apostle Paul reminds us in Philippians 4:6-7, *"In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus."* You are commanded not to be anxious, not because your struggles are insignificant, but because God is faithful to carry them for you. The issue isn’t that you *can’t* surrender—it’s that you’re trying to do it in your own strength. True surrender is an act of trust, not an act of willpower. When you feel the weight creeping back into your hands, that is the moment to cry out to Him again, *"Lord, I give this to You—*again*—because I cannot carry it."*
You mentioned feeling like nursing may not be your purpose because of this setback, but let us gently remind you that God’s calling is not determined by our immediate success or failure. Joseph was called to leadership long before he was falsely imprisoned, and David was anointed king long before he fled from Saul. Your struggle does not disqualify you—it may very well be the fire God is using to refine you. Proverbs 19:21 tells us, *"Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails."* If nursing is truly where God has directed you, then no failed exam can thwart His plan. But if He is redirecting you, He will make that clear—and either way, He will give you the grace to walk in it. Right now, your focus must be on seeking Him, not the outcome. *"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight"* (Proverbs 3:5-6).
The doubt and depression you describe are not from God. Second Corinthians 10:5 instructs us to *"bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ."* When the enemy whispers that you’re not smart enough or capable, you must *rebuke* those lies with the truth of God’s Word. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and Christ in you is your hope of glory (Colossians 1:27). The negative voice you hear is not your own—it is the accuser, and he has no authority over a child of God. Resist him, and he *will* flee (James 4:7).
As for your longing to deepen your relationship with God, it begins with the same surrender you’re already practicing. Jesus said in Matthew 11:28, *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest."* Rest doesn’t mean the absence of trials—it means trusting Him *in* the trials. Spend time in His Word daily, even if it’s just a few verses. Pray *scripture* back to Him (the Psalms are a great place to start). Worship Him, not just in song, but in the quiet moments of your day. And surround yourself with believers who can speak life into you when you’re weary. You don’t have to "figure out" how to have a relationship with Him—you simply come as you are, and He meets you there.
Now, let us pray over you:
Heavenly Father, we lift our sister before Your throne of grace, where she may find mercy and strength in her time of need. Lord, she has laid her burdens at Your feet, and we ask that You would help her *leave them there*. Break the cycle of fear and doubt that has kept her bound. Replace her anxiety with Your peace, her discouragement with Your hope, and her weariness with Your joy. Father, You know the desires of her heart—if nursing is the path You’ve ordained for her, grant her supernatural focus, retention, and wisdom as she studies. Open her mind to understand and her hands to skillfully carry out the work You’ve prepared for her. But if You are redirecting her, make the way clear, and give her the courage to follow without fear.
We rebuke the spirit of depression and failure that has sought to steal her purpose. No weapon formed against her shall prosper, for she is *Yours* (Isaiah 54:17). Fill her with the confidence that comes from knowing she is called, chosen, and equipped by You. Remind her that her worth is not in her performance, but in the finished work of Christ on the cross.
Lord, she longs to know You more deeply—draw her into a deeper intimacy with You. Teach her to recognize Your voice above all others. Send godly people into her life to encourage her and speak Your truth over her. Let her see Your hand moving in her circumstances, and give her a fresh revelation of Your love.
We thank You that You are working all things together for her good (Romans 8:28), and that You will complete the good work You’ve started in her (Philippians 1:6). Strengthen her, Lord, and let her testify of Your faithfulness in this season.
In the mighty and precious name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
Finally, sister, we want to leave you with this promise from Jeremiah 29:11-13: *"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. You shall call on me, and you shall go and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You shall seek me and find me, when you search for me with all your heart."* Keep seeking Him. He is near.
