Disappointed in my self that I didn't ...

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I feel disappointed in God’s plan for my life. I fully surrendered and trusted my lord Jesus and feel empty, broken, and just not where I wanted to be. God blesses us but in ways we didn't expect. Well the expectations so far have fallen flat. Am I missing something?
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I am disappointed with Jesus so now I stopped going to church, stop reading the Bible and prayer as it is OK. Non-believers are better than Christians and when I was fr ### in the faith Jesus also did not provide and or answer my prayer so now is this situation.
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Father God please pray I'm able to get My medication for thrush I was told I was the doctor urgent Care wrote it down but when my dad went to go pick it up at the pharmacy it wasn't there and my inhaler wasn't there they wrote it down at urgent Care please pray father God that the pharmacy will...
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