Difference between forgiveness and approval?

[Dhlaroroth]

When someone wrongs us ,but not reacting to it by overlooking it,doesnt that send them a message that theres nothing wrong with what they did?That their sin is ok?I would think they see it that way,and even to me it seems like we're putting our stamp of approval on their bad actions.So where's the line between forgiveness and approval of bad actions?I must question ...

 

[Articles]

This is such an important question, and one that many believers wrestle with. Let’s seek the Lord’s wisdom together on this matter, for His Word provides clear guidance on forgiveness, accountability, and the heart behind both.

Forgiveness is a command from God, not an option. Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:14-15, "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Forgiveness is about releasing the offender from the debt they owe us, not about declaring their actions as acceptable. It is an act of obedience to God, a reflection of His mercy toward us, and a means of guarding our own hearts from bitterness. When we forgive, we are saying, "I will not hold this against you, but I entrust justice to God." Romans 12:19 reminds us, "Don’t seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God’s wrath. For it is written, ‘Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord.’"

Approval, on the other hand, is when we either explicitly or implicitly communicate that the wrong action was justified, acceptable, or even good. This is not what forgiveness does. Forgiveness does not require us to pretend the sin never happened or to minimize its seriousness. In fact, overlooking sin without addressing it can sometimes enable further wrongdoing, both in the life of the offender and in our own hearts. Proverbs 27:5-6 says, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; although the kisses of an enemy are profuse." There are times when love requires us to speak truth, even when it is difficult.

However, there is a difference between overlooking a minor offense in love (Proverbs 19:11) and ignoring sin that is harmful or destructive. If someone has sinned against us in a way that is ongoing, unrepentant, or causing damage to themselves or others, we are called to address it with gentleness and truth. Galatians 6:1 instructs, "Brothers, even if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; looking to yourself so that you also aren’t tempted." This is not about condemnation but about restoration, always with the goal of leading the person back to repentance and reconciliation with God.

Forgiveness does not mean we must trust the person immediately or place ourselves in a position to be hurt again. Boundaries are biblical. Jesus Himself taught in Matthew 18:15-17 that if a brother sins against us, we are to go to him privately first, then with witnesses if needed, and if he still refuses to listen, we are to treat him as an outsider for the sake of his repentance. This is not unforgiveness, it is accountability.

So where is the line? Forgiveness is about our heart posture before God, releasing the offense to Him and refusing to harbor bitterness. Approval is about our response to the sin itself, either excusing it or affirming it. We can forgive someone while still acknowledging that what they did was wrong. We can love them while not pretending their actions were right. And in cases where the sin is serious or ongoing, we may need to lovingly confront them, always with the hope of restoration.

Let us pray together:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with humble hearts, seeking Your wisdom and grace. Lord, You have called us to forgive as You have forgiven us, and we ask for the strength to release any bitterness or resentment we may be holding onto. Help us to forgive others not because their actions were right, but because You have commanded us to do so and because You have shown us immeasurable mercy. Father, give us discernment to know when to overlook an offense and when to speak the truth in love. Teach us to hold fast to Your standards while extending grace to those who have wronged us. Guard our hearts from self-righteousness, and fill us with Your love so that we may reflect Your character in all we do. Lord, we trust in Your justice and Your timing, knowing that vengeance belongs to You alone. May our lives be a testimony to Your goodness, and may we always point others to the hope found in Jesus Christ. In His precious name we pray, Amen.

Remember, forgiveness is not a feeling, it is a choice. It is not about the other person’s worthiness but about our obedience to God. And while we forgive, we can still stand firm on truth, trusting that God will work all things together for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). If the person who wronged you is a fellow believer, pray for their repentance and restoration. If they are not, pray that their eyes would be opened to the truth of the Gospel. Either way, keep your heart soft before the Lord, and let Him guide your steps.

 

[hostadmin]

That's a question we hear often, and it gets to the heart of what forgiveness really is. The tension you're feeling makes sense: if we just let it go, aren't we saying it wasn't wrong?

Here's something that helps us. Forgiveness and approval are completely different things. Approval says, "What you did was fine." Forgiveness says, "What you did was wrong, but I am releasing you from the debt you owe me." One is about the act itself; the other is about what happens between us and the person who hurt us. We can forgive someone precisely because we know what they did was not okay. If it were okay, there would be nothing to forgive.

This also means forgiveness doesn't always mean the relationship goes back to how it was. Trust is rebuilt through honesty and changed behavior, not just swept under the rug. We can forgive fully in our hearts, canceling the debt and refusing to seek revenge, while still recognizing that a boundary is needed for safety or wisdom. That's not holding a grudge; that's living in reality.

When the feeling that you're "approving" of something creeps in, one practice we've found helpful is to consciously turn the situation over to God's justice. You might silently pray, "Lord, I release this person to You. You are the righteous judge, and I trust You to handle what I cannot." That small act can remind your own heart that you are not the one who has to make sure the wrong is acknowledged. You're simply choosing to stop carrying it.

We're praying with you as you sort through this.

Father, thank You that You forgive us without ever pretending our sin was fine. Give this person clarity to see the line between releasing a debt and endorsing a wrong, and grant them peace in the middle of a confusing situation. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[JesusourLordandSavior]

Thank you Heavenly Father for blessing us with another day, and for all you do for all of us. All glory and honor belongs to you Father. I lift this prayer up on your glory Father God and ask that you grant your perfect will. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.”

‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭17‬:‭7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

 

[Nochaeld]

When someone wrongs us ,but not reacting to it by overlooking it,doesnt that send them a message that theres nothing wrong with what they did?That their sin is ok?I would think they see it that way,and even to me it seems like we're putting our stamp of approval on their bad actions.So where's the line between forgiveness and approval of bad actions?I must question ...

Father, May This Situation Be Handled Well, as the people testified of Jesus, “He has done all things well,” Mk 7:37 -- Reached out to the actual main pastor on social media who is NOT family and seems to be a burning and shining lamp, Jn 5:35, and a flaming fire of a minister, Heb 1:7, Whether he corresponds with me or not is not important, nor even reconciliation an idol to me in any way, but rather the keeping the commands of God, 1 Cor 7:19, 1 Jn 5:3, the converting of her soul, Ps 19:7, Gal 3:24, James 5:19-20, Rev 3:19-20.

I ask they do it gently, as I don't want her to stop going to church or stop bringing the boy to services -- yet don't want him to see sin, compromise, different men frequently, or stumble... Jesus is not confused about such matters, in fact we must think His thoughts after Him, that's how confused we are -- we actually need Instructions... Sin Confronted Gently, Gal 6:1, but seriously, Mt 18:15-17, Lv 19:17, Ezk 3:18, Repentance from Sin, 2 Tim 2:25-26, Salvation Rev 3:19-20, Little One Not to Stumble Mk 9:42, God's Will Next Steps, Col 1:9...

We pray the pastor, his spouse and their church is humble, contrite and trembles at God's Word, Isa 66:2, on exercising church discipline (toward the goal of obedience to all He commanded, Matt 28:20)... The country is "non-confrontational" by nature, and a LOT are prone to be especially guilty of the sin of Eli with not reproving family members 1 Sam 2:12-36, favoring family over God's Word, 1 Sam 3:10-14. Bring the Fear of the Lord the beginning of knowledge, Prov 1:7, the hatred of evil, Prov 8:13, turning away from evil, Job 28:28, using the Scriptures which give wisdom toward salvation, 2 Tim 3:15, and repentance, Mt 18:15, James 5:20). Also we pray they would be serious about sin and avoid the bloodguilt of silence Ezek 3:18-19, Acts 20:26-29, warns female spouse out (and others in open sin) out of fear of God, genuine concern, and love for lost, Mt 18:16-17, Lk 17:3, Lv 19:17, family also obeys God and warns Gal 6:1. Practicing immorality excludes from kingdom 1 Cor 6:9 Rev 21:8 Gal 5:19-20, New Testament forewarns exclusion from entrance into kingdom of God, Gal 5:21...

Thank You this request and its follow through has been and must still be mingled with prayer, fasting and intense mercy, yet not so as to lose the stern frankness and danger to herself, my son and others by continuing in immorality at all, especially while married, Rom 7:2-3, 1 Cor 6:9-10, Rev 2:20, Rev 3:19, Rev 21:8 -- and by endangering the child and softening his moral stance, Matt 18:6, Mk 9:42, Lk 17:2, Rev 18:21. Galatians 6:1 "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a trespass, you who are spiritual should restore him with a spirit of gentleness. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted." Take them not out of the world, but keep them from deception, Matt 24:4, sin, compromise, temptation and the evil one, Matt 6:13, Zeph 3:13, 2 Cor 13:7, John 17:15.

Thank You in for hearing prayer in Your will (which is The Bible), and when You hear, we have the requests, 1 Jn 5:14-15, in Jesus' Name. Surely with thanksgiving we make our requests known, that the peace of God that passes understanding may guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, Phil 4:6-7, The Faithful Witness and Originator of The New Creation, Rev 3:14, in whom all the promises of God are Yes, and we add, Amen, 2 Cor 1:20

 

[bobr69]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Spurgeon]

It is a right and holy caution that trembles lest mercy be mistaken for license. The line between forgiveness and approval is not thin, it is as wide as the gulf between Christ’s atoning blood and the sin that made it necessary. Forgiveness never says the wrong was small; it says it was so heinous that nothing less than the Substitute’s pangs could put it away. Approval would call the debt a trifle; forgiveness calls it what it is, a great offense, and then blots it out for love’s sake.

When you forgive, you do not send the message that their sin is acceptable. You send the message that though it was grievous, you will not hold the debt against them. The world cannot understand this, for the world knows nothing of Calvary. But you who have had so much manifest forgiveness, so much outward sin forgiven, ought to find it as natural to forgive as to open your hands. God does not approve your sin when He forgives you; He remembers it no more against you, yet His holiness burns against sin still. There is forgiveness with Him that He may be feared, not that He may be mocked.

Yet your question touches something true. There are times when overlooking a wrong without a word might embolden the offender, not in the safety of grace, but in the hardening of presumption. This is where wisdom must guide love. Forgiving from the heart is a command; but the manner of expressing that forgiveness may differ. You may forgive fully before God, release the debt, and still in meekness and tears warn the brother of the danger of his way, lest he sin against his own soul. Silence may not always be the most loving shape of pardon. Even our Lord, who forgave His tormentors, cried, “Father, forgive them,” yet the apostles later preached repentance toward that very sin.

So cling to this: forgiveness is not saying the thing was right. It is saying, “I have been forgiven ten thousand talents, and I will not, I dare not, wring the hundred pence from your neck.” But if love for the offender’s soul requires that you speak of the wrong, speak. Only let it be without malice, without self-righteousness, remembering your own great forgiveness for great sin. And if you must rebuke, do it with the tenderness of one who knows there is forgiveness now, for the vilest. That is not approval; that is compassion seeking to snatch a brand from the burning.

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name.