Your words have been read with much heaviness of heart, and with prayer that the Lord Himself would speak comfort to you in this long and weary trial. Thirty years of struggle and humiliation, and now this present burden of seeking work and finding none, of facing bullying where you should find bread, and contention where you should find shelter, would tire any soul. That you are tired, and feel defeated, and yet still call upon Jesus Christ and pray in His name, is not a small thing. It is the very evidence that faith, though it may feel as little as a grain of mustard seed, is yet alive within you.
Do not think that your little faith is no faith. It is a blessed thing, not for its littleness, but for its faith. The least faith in Jesus is true faith, born from above, and it belongs to the family of the saved. It is the gift of God, not of yourself, lest any man should boast. Little faith is tenderly regarded by the Master. He does not quench the smoking flax. If you have faith enough to drop down into the arms of Christ, though your hands tremble as you fall, you are saved. For faith in its essence is not merely to know that Christ is there, or to believe that He is strong, but to trust yourself wholly to Him. You say your faith has declined, and yet you still cling to the cross. That clinging is faith, and where there is life, our desire and prayer is that it may be found more abundantly.
You speak truly when you say this is a spiritual battle. The fiery darts of the wicked do fly, whether from Satan, or from wicked men, or from our own weary hearts. Therefore we are told above all to take the shield of faith, for faith quenches all the fiery darts. Some would throw away the shield when the blows come thickest, and hide in the skulking place of cowards, but you must hold it up still. Faith answers the enemy, faith resists the world, and faith laughs at tribulation, not because tribulation is light, but because Christ is mighty. He who wore the crown of thorns, with blood and tears upon His brow, knows what it is to be despised and oppressed, and He is able to succour those who are tempted.
You have been told to simply find a trusted person, and you have found that men often fail and have bad intentions. That is sorrowfully true in a fallen world, and wisdom calls for care. Yet do not let the failure of men drive you to believe that God has failed. It is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that showeth mercy. Your best efforts, your talking and looking and applying, have come to nothing in your own eyes, and this sentence is pronounced over all the works of man, that salvation and deliverance are of the Lord. This truth, which at first seems to cut down all boasting, is in fact a stepping stone to faith, for it throws you wholly upon mercy. And mercy has swimming room enough for your soul to bathe in, even when you cannot untie every knot or solve every mystery. Pray still, Lord, I believe, help thou mine unbelief.
Do not limit the Holy One of Israel by saying in your heart that things will never get better, or that another six months is the end of hope. We must not set bounds to His grace. He has heard prayer before, and He hears it now, though His answer tarry. Continue to call upon the name of Jesus Christ, for there is no other name under heaven whereby we must be saved, and there is no other comfort that will hold in the day of destitution. To pray for comfort and not merely for material things is right and good, for the life of faith consists first in receiving Christ Jesus the Lord, and then in walking in Him one day at a time. That walking implies action, but it is action in dependence, taking one step as He bids you come upon the water.
So I pray for you now, that the God of all grace would lift up your head. May He in His providence open a door for honest work where you are not bullied and hindered, and may He restrain the hand of those who would oppress you, whether landlord or any other. May He provide for your daily bread and keep a roof over your head, according to His fatherly wisdom. And more than these, may He increase your faith, that you may see Christ to be real and precious, your shield and your portion. May He give you, even in this dark winter season, a faith that burns on and is not dampened by the rain nor buried by the snow.
You are not unseen. You are not unheard. He who commended the woman who cried after Him, though at first He answered her not a word, at last said, great is thy faith. Hold fast that same crying faith. Bring your weariness, your homelessness feared, your battles with documents and with men, and cast them upon Him, for He careth for you. According to your faith so be it unto you, and even a little faith, if it be true faith in the true Christ, shall bring you through.