We hear the deep sorrow and weariness in your heart, and we want you to know that you are not alone in this struggle. The burden of loving someone who is trapped in bitterness, self-hatred, and resistance to change is heavy, but we must remember that our hope is not in their transformation alone—it is in the sovereignty and faithfulness of God, who works all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Your persistent prayers for your daughter are a testament to your love, but we also sense the weight of exhaustion in your words. Let us first address the spiritual foundation of your plea, for we notice that while you cry out for help, the name of Jesus is not invoked in your request. It is only through the name of Jesus Christ that we approach the throne of God with confidence (Hebrews 4:16), and it is only through Him that true peace and transformation are possible. If you have not already, we urge you to place your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, for "there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men, by which we must be saved" (Acts 4:12). Without Him, our prayers lack the power and authority that come from a relationship with the living God.
Your daughter’s struggle is not just against flesh and blood but against spiritual forces of darkness that seek to keep her bound in despair (Ephesians 6:12). The enemy delights in stealing joy, killing hope, and destroying relationships, but we serve a God who is greater. While you have been faithful in prayer, we must also remind you that prayer is not a magic formula—it is communion with God, and it must be paired with action where possible. You mention that your daughter needs a therapist and/or medication, and we agree that seeking professional help is not a lack of faith but wisdom. God often uses doctors, counselors, and medicine as instruments of His healing. In the same way that you would not hesitate to take her to a physician for a physical ailment, her mental and emotional health may require the same kind of care. Proverbs 11:14 tells us, "Where there is no wise guidance, the nation falls, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." Seek out godly, professional counsel for her, and trust that God can work through these means.
At the same time, we must address the hardness of heart that seems to be present in your daughter. Bitterness and self-loathing are sins that grieve the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30-31), and they open the door for the enemy to torment her mind. She must be lovingly confronted with the truth that her attitude is not only harmful to herself but dishonoring to God. While we do not know the specifics of her struggles, Scripture is clear that we are to "put away all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, along with all malice" (Ephesians 4:31). If she is a believer, she must be reminded that she is called to renew her mind in Christ (Romans 12:2) and to take every thought captive to obey Him (2 Corinthians 10:5). If she is not a believer, then her greatest need is not just emotional stability but salvation through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. Without Him, any temporary relief will be just that—temporary.
As for you, dear one, we see how deeply you are affected by her behavior, and we want to remind you that while you are called to love her, you are not called to enable her sin or to bear the weight of her choices as if they were your own. You cannot force her to change, but you can set boundaries that protect your own heart and home from the toxicity of her bitterness. Jesus Himself gave us an example of this when He withdrew from those who rejected Him (Matthew 15:14, Mark 6:11). This does not mean you stop loving her or praying for her, but it does mean you guard your own peace and well-being. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and if you are emotionally and spiritually drained, you will have little left to offer her or anyone else. Take time to rest in the Lord, to seek His presence, and to allow Him to refresh your soul (Psalm 23:3).
You ask when God will provide you with peace, and we gently remind you that peace is not the absence of trouble but the presence of God in the midst of it. Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, give I to you. Don’t let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful" (John 14:27). This peace is available to you now, not just when your daughter changes. It is a peace that transcends circumstances, and it is found in surrendering your burdens to Christ (Philippians 4:6-7). You have been carrying this alone for too long, and we urge you to seek support from your church community. Galatians 6:2 tells us to "Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." You were not meant to walk this path in isolation. If you do not have a church family, we strongly encourage you to find a Bible-believing church where you can receive prayer, encouragement, and practical help.
Lastly, we must address the danger of resentment creeping into your own heart. You say, "I have to live with this person," and we hear the frustration in those words. It is natural to feel this way, but we must guard against bitterness taking root in us as well. Hebrews 12:15 warns, "Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it." You cannot control your daughter’s choices, but you can choose to release her to God daily, trusting that He is working even when you cannot see it. Remember Joseph, who suffered greatly at the hands of his brothers, yet was able to say to them, "You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good" (Genesis 50:20). God is able to redeem even this.
Let us pray together for you and your daughter:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up this weary and burdened parent to Your throne of grace. Lord, You see the depths of their pain and the weight they carry for their daughter. We ask that You would surround them with Your peace, a peace that surpasses all understanding, guarding their heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Father, we rebuked the spirit of bitterness, despair, and self-hatred that has taken hold of their daughter. These things are not from You, and we command them to flee in the name of Jesus. Lord, break the chains of the enemy that bind her mind and heart. Soften her heart, Lord, and open her eyes to see the truth of Your love for her. If she does not know You, Father, draw her to Yourself. Convict her of her need for a Savior, and lead her to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ.
Lord, we pray for wisdom for this parent as they navigate this difficult season. Show them when to speak, when to listen, and when to set boundaries. Give them the strength to love their daughter well without enabling her sin. Provide godly counselors, doctors, and believers to come alongside her and offer the help she needs. Father, we ask that You would restore joy where there has been sorrow, hope where there has been despair, and life where there has been death. Remind this parent that You are at work, even in the waiting. Help them to trust You with their daughter’s life, knowing that You love her even more than they do.
Lord, we also pray for protection over this home. Let Your presence be a shield against the attacks of the enemy. Fill this home with Your peace, Your truth, and Your love. Father, we ask that You would provide a community of believers to surround this family, to uplift them in prayer, and to walk with them through this valley. And finally, Lord, we pray that You would renew the strength of this parent. When they are weak, be their strength. When they are weary, be their rest. When they are discouraged, be their hope. We ask all these things in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
We encourage you to continue standing in faith, but also to take practical steps to care for yourself and your daughter. Seek counsel from your pastor or a trusted believer, and do not hesitate to pursue professional help for her. Keep speaking life and truth over her, even when she cannot see it herself. And above all, keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith (Hebrews 12:2). He is with you, and He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6).
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
