We hear the depth of your pain and the weight of your despair, and we grieve with you in this place of struggle. The anger, frustration, and sense of abandonment you express are real, and we do not dismiss them lightly. It is clear that you feel betrayed, unseen, and utterly alone in the midst of your suffering. We want you to know that your honesty is not unwelcome here—God can handle your raw emotions, even when they are directed at Him. In fact, Scripture shows us that God invites us to bring our doubts, our rage, and our broken hearts before Him. The Psalms are filled with cries of lament, where the writers question God’s presence, His timing, and even His goodness. Psalm 22:1-2 says, *"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from helping me, and from the words of my groaning? My God, I cry in the daytime, but you don’t answer; in the night season, and am not silent."* Even Jesus Himself cried out these words on the cross, bearing the full weight of human suffering and abandonment.
Yet we must gently but firmly address some of the accusations you’ve made against God, not to condemn you, but to point you toward truth. You say that God is your enemy, that He has made your life "fucked up," and that He is a liar with no power or goodness. These are serious charges, and we must examine them in light of Scripture. First, God is not the author of evil or suffering. James 1:13 tells us, *"Let no man say when he is tempted, ‘I am tempted by God,’ for God can’t be tempted by evil, and he himself tempts no one."* The brokenness in this world is the result of sin—human rebellion against God—and the fallen state of creation. God did not create the world this way; He created it good (Genesis 1:31). But when sin entered the world through Adam and Eve, it brought with it suffering, death, and separation from God (Romans 5:12). God does not delight in your pain, nor does He take pleasure in your struggles. Lamentations 3:32-33 says, *"For though he causes grief, yet he will have compassion according to the multitude of his loving kindnesses. For he does not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of men."*
You also express frustration that God does not appear to you directly, that He does not show up in tangible ways to alleviate your suffering. This is a deeply human longing—to see God, to touch Him, to know without a doubt that He is real and present. We understand this ache, and we do not dismiss it. But Scripture tells us that God has chosen to reveal Himself in ways that require faith, not sight. Jesus told Thomas, who doubted His resurrection, *"Because you have seen me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen, and have believed"* (John 20:29). Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1). This does not mean faith is blind or without evidence—it means that God invites us to trust Him even when we cannot see the full picture. The Holy Spirit, whom you say you cannot see, is real and active. He is the Comforter Jesus promised to send (John 14:16), the One who convicts of sin, righteousness, and judgment (John 16:8), and the One who testifies of Christ (John 15:26). His work may not always be visible to the eye, but His presence is real, and He is at work in the hearts of those who seek Him.
You ask why you should trust God for something that happened 2,000 years ago. The answer is that the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ are not just historical events—they are the foundation of our hope and the proof of God’s love for you. Romans 5:8 says, *"But God commends his own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."* God did not wait for you to seek Him first; He sought you first by sending His Son to die for your sins. This is the ultimate demonstration of love—laying down one’s life for another (1 John 3:16). Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross was not just for the people of His time; it was for all people, in all times, including you. His resurrection is the guarantee that death and sin do not have the final say. Because He lives, you too can have hope, even in the midst of despair.
You feel that God’s claim to have loved you first is a lie because you have to seek Him through the Bible. But the Bible is not just a book—it is God’s living Word, His love letter to you. Hebrews 4:12 says, *"For the word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and is able to discern the thoughts and intentions of the heart."* When you read Scripture, you are not just reading words on a page; you are encountering the heart of God. He speaks through His Word, and He draws near to those who seek Him with a sincere heart. Jeremiah 29:13 says, *"You shall seek me, and find me, when you search for me with all your heart."* God does not hide Himself from those who truly seek Him. But seeking Him requires humility, a willingness to acknowledge that you do not have all the answers, and a desire to know the truth, even when it challenges your assumptions.
You also express anger that God seems to demand belief as a condition for His help, calling it hypocritical. But faith is not a work that earns God’s favor—it is the means by which we receive His grace. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, *"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, that no one would boast."* God does not force Himself on anyone. He invites, He calls, and He draws near, but He does not violate our free will. He respects your choice to accept or reject Him, even when that choice leads to pain. But He longs for you to choose life, to choose hope, to choose Him. Deuteronomy 30:19-20 says, *"I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. Therefore choose life, that you may live, you and your descendants, loving Yahweh your God, obeying his voice, and clinging to him; for he is your life, and the length of your days."*
We must also address the language you’ve used to describe your situation. While we understand that your words come from a place of deep pain, Scripture calls us to guard our tongues and to speak in ways that honor God. Ephesians 4:29 says, *"Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but such as is good for building up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear."* Even in our anger and despair, we are called to speak truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). This does not mean suppressing your emotions, but it does mean bringing them before God in a way that acknowledges His sovereignty and goodness, even when we do not understand.
Now, let us come before God together in prayer, lifting up your pain, your doubts, and your longing for truth.
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, carrying the weight of our brother’s despair. Lord, he feels abandoned, betrayed, and utterly alone. He questions Your goodness, Your power, and Your love, and we ask that You would meet him in this place of darkness. Father, we know that You are near to the brokenhearted and that You save those who have a crushed spirit (Psalm 34:18). We ask that You would reveal Yourself to him in ways that he cannot deny. Open his eyes to see Your hand at work, even in the midst of his suffering. Soften his heart to receive Your love, and give him the faith to trust in You, even when he cannot see the way forward.
Lord, we confess that we do not always understand Your ways. Your thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and Your ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). But we ask that You would help our brother to see that You are not the author of his pain. You are the God who weeps with those who weep (Romans 12:15), the God who collects every tear in a bottle (Psalm 56:8), and the God who promises to wipe away every tear from our eyes (Revelation 21:4). Help him to see that You are not distant or uncaring, but that You are intimately acquainted with his suffering.
Father, we ask that You would remind him of the hope that is found in Jesus Christ. Remind him that Christ died for him while he was still a sinner (Romans 5:8), that He rose again to conquer sin and death, and that He lives to intercede for him even now (Hebrews 7:25). Give him the strength to seek You, not out of obligation, but out of a desire to know the truth. Draw him to Yourself, Lord, and let him experience the reality of Your presence in his life.
We also ask that You would guard his heart and mind from the lies of the enemy. Satan would love nothing more than to keep him in a place of despair, to convince him that You are not real, that You do not care, or that You are powerless to help. But we declare that You are the God who sees (Genesis 16:13), the God who hears (Psalm 34:17), and the God who acts on behalf of those who wait for You (Isaiah 64:4). Break the chains of doubt and unbelief, Lord, and replace them with a living hope in Jesus Christ.
Finally, Father, we ask that You would surround him with people who can speak truth into his life, who can walk with him in his pain, and who can point him to You. Give him the courage to reach out, to seek help, and to allow others to bear his burdens with him (Galatians 6:2). And may he come to know the peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7), the peace that comes from resting in Your love and Your sovereignty.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the One who bore our sins, our sorrows, and our despair on the cross. It is in His name that we have access to You, Father, and it is through Him that we find hope, healing, and eternal life. Amen.
To our brother in Christ, we want to leave you with this encouragement: You are not alone in your struggle. The fact that you are wrestling with these questions shows that you are seeking truth, and God honors that. He is not afraid of your doubts or your anger. In fact, He invites you to bring them to Him. Psalm 55:22 says, *"Cast your burden on Yahweh, and he will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be moved."* We urge you to keep seeking, to keep asking, and to keep knocking (Matthew 7:7). God promises that those who seek Him will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). And when you find Him, you will find that He has been seeking you all along.
We also encourage you to seek out a community of believers who can walk with you in this journey. Isolation only deepens despair, but fellowship with other Christians can bring light into the darkness. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, *"Let’s consider how to provoke one another to love and good works, not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching."* You do not have to carry this burden alone. Reach out to a pastor, a trusted friend, or a counselor who can help you process your pain in a healthy way.
Lastly, we want to remind you that your worth is not defined by your circumstances. You are not a mistake, and your life is not without purpose. Jeremiah 29:11 says, *"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,” says Yahweh, “thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future."* Even when you cannot see it, God is at work in your life. He has a plan for you, and He is faithful to complete the work He has begun in you (Philippians 1:6). Keep pressing into Him, even when it feels impossible. He is worth the fight.
