We lift you and your husband before the Lord, knowing that the battles you face are not against flesh and blood but against the spiritual forces of darkness that seek to steal, kill, and destroy (Ephesians 6:12). Your husband’s struggle with depression, guilt, and the weight of his past is a heavy burden, but we serve a God who is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). His feelings of responsibility for things beyond his control—whether your mother’s passing, your health, or his ex-wife’s medical condition—are not from the Lord. These are lies from the enemy, designed to paralyze him with shame and drive a wedge between you both. The truth is, Jesus has already borne the weight of every sin, every failure, and every regret on the cross. There is *no* condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1), and it is time for your husband to release these burdens at the foot of the cross.
Your weariness is understandable, dear sister. You did not marry to walk this path alone, and it is not wrong to feel the strain of carrying this load alongside his silence and withdrawal. Marriage is meant to reflect Christ’s love for the Church—a love that is patient, kind, and *present* (Ephesians 5:25-33). When one spouse withdraws emotionally, it creates a void that can breed bitterness or indifference if not surrendered to the Lord. We urge you to guard your heart against resentment, for the Lord sees your faithfulness in this trial. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, *"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the source of life."* You are not wrong to seek the Lord’s guidance—indeed, it is wise and right to cry out to Him in this season.
To your husband, we say this in love but with urgency: **Repent of this silence and withdrawal.** A man who leads in the church must first lead in his home (1 Timothy 3:4-5). Your depression does not excuse ungodly behavior—it requires you to *fight* with the weapons of prayer, Scripture, and fellowship, not retreat into isolation. Job’s friends sat with him in silence for seven days, but even in his suffering, Job *spoke* (Job 2:13). Your wife deserves your voice, your presence, and your leadership, not the cold shoulder of a man trapped in his own mind. The Lord has not called you to be a prisoner of your past or your emotions. *"Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things"* (Philippians 4:8). Dwell on *Christ’s* finished work, not your perceived failures.
As for the dynamic with his ex-wife, we must address this with clarity: **Your husband’s guilt over his past marriage is not from the Lord if it is binding him to emotional ties that belong to God alone.** Jesus said, *"Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. If a woman herself divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery"* (Mark 10:11-12). While we do not know the circumstances of his first marriage, the Lord has redeemed him, and his focus now must be on the covenant *he has with you*. His ex-wife’s health struggles are not his burden to carry—his primary earthly ministry is to *you*, his wife. Any emotional energy spent on regret or misplaced responsibility is energy stolen from the marriage God has ordained *now*. *"Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate"* (Mark 10:9). This includes emotional separations fueled by guilt or depression.
We also note your mention of feeling "indifferent" and must warn you: **Indifference is a dangerous place for a marriage.** It is the soil where the enemy plants seeds of division. We urge you to ask the Lord to soften your heart *and* give you wisdom. Pray for your husband, but do not enable his withdrawal by accepting it as normal. Speak truth in love, even if it is hard. *"Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful"* (Proverbs 27:6). Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is refuse to let him stay in this pit.
Lastly, we commend you for praying in the name of Jesus—the only name by which we are saved and through whom we have access to the Father (John 14:6, Acts 4:12). Cling to Him, for He is your strength in weakness.
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**Let us pray together:**
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting this marriage and this husband who is trapped in the snare of depression and false guilt. Lord, we rebuke the spirit of heaviness that has settled over him and declare that the garment of praise is his inheritance (Isaiah 61:3). Break the chains of silence and withdrawal that have kept him from leading and loving his wife as You have called him to do. Convict him, Holy Spirit, of the sin of isolation and the danger of entertaining lies about his past. Remind him that You have separated his sins from him as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12), and that his identity is *not* in his failures but in Christ’s victory.
Lord, we ask for supernatural healing over his mind. Depression is not his master—*You* are. Fill him with the joy of Your salvation and renew a right spirit within him (Psalm 51:12). Give him the courage to repent before his wife, to speak life into their home, and to reject the enemy’s accusations. Let him rise up as the spiritual leader You have called him to be, not in his own strength, but by Your grace.
Father, we also lift this wife before You. Comfort her weary heart and guard her against bitterness or indifference. Give her wisdom to know how to speak, when to be silent, and how to love her husband well in this season. Strengthen her physically, emotionally, and spiritually, especially as she manages her own health. Let her see her husband through Your eyes—not as a man defined by his struggles, but as a man You are refining for Your glory.
We bind every spirit of division, guilt, and despair in this home and command them to flee in Jesus’ name. Let Thanksgiving not be a memory of pain but a turning point—a moment where this couple chose to fight *together* against the enemy’s schemes. Restore what has been broken, Lord. Bring repentance, reconciliation, and a fresh outpouring of Your love in this marriage.
We declare that this home will be a place of peace, not tension; of truth, not silence; of unity, not division. Let their blended family be a testimony of Your redemptive power, not a source of regret. And Father, we ask that You would raise up godly counsel—whether through pastors, Christian counselors, or trusted believers—to walk alongside them in this battle. No one was meant to fight alone.
We thank You, Lord, that You are the God who heals, restores, and redeems. We trust You with this marriage, and we ask all these things in the powerful, matchless name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
