Deeply troubled, grieved, broken, feel like dying

[Maloirath]

I’m alone. Lost all my friends by them moving off the island of Hawaii, getting married or we just stopped talking. I’ve been heart aching and heartbreaking alone. I’m not just lonely but very poor. I’m having a hard time finding a job and saving money to get my own apartment which forced me to live in gross homeless shelters and now this, a lgbq and substance use household. My mom is in the lgbq community and she smokes cigs and weed and it’s grieving me to the core because I already told her it’s a sin and so is drugs and alcohol but she says she doesn’t want to here it. It used to be just me and her in her house. Recently she’s been having her lgbq friends, partner over and it’s killing me. Her male gay friend is staying in the room next to mine and the bathroom is taken up with all his things and he uses it a lot and I feel uncomfortable to put my things in there because when he came in first day, he was so rude, no privacy, he put his things right next to mine in the bathroom though there was other places he could’ve put it to separate it. Yet he put his shower cloth right next to my shower cloth, it touched and his body products literally right next to my shampoo and conditioner. I can’t even use my pajamas around the house anymore and I’m stressed everytime I have to use the bathroom or shower trying to figure out how to use this bathroom when it’s literally a gay man’s bathroom now. I smell his bathroom everytime he goes to the bathroom and I’m getting headaches. My mom said he’d stay for a few days…. It’s been 5. That’s more than 3…. It’s almost a week and I’m DYING! I feel silenced and grieved because the Bible says honor your parents so I can’t speak up because if I do and tell her I’m uncomfortable (I’ve done this before with her ex girlfriend and she yelled at me and kicked me out the house) she will get mad and do something spiteful. So I have to live like this feeling oppressed and violated of my private and personal space when I’m already going through injustice of my child’s dad (my ex) getting a 2 year order of protection on me, saying I harassed my ex but I was not. I called the police not to harass but to call welfare checks in my child who was showing great distress and obvious signs of sexual abuse. Which I will not go into that. My ex is evil. He has broken my soul with manipulation, lies, slander, wickedness, doing sorcery and witchcraft and causing my child to not like me and abusing my child mentally and sexually…. My mom also said she’d help me with an attorney and to get an apartment in the state where my child resides but she changed her mind when she went on a trip and came home. So I am left with no help legally or financially. Mom has instead spent hands of dollars on reconstruction her driveway and many other things about her house. She got a new dog and she eats out with her lgbq friends while I have to catch bus just to get food sometimes. I feel and see my mom putting her lgbq partner and friends before me and her grandchild. I see her choosing money though I’ve told her my child’s been sexually abused and I’ve been in homeless shelters and on the streets but don’t do drugs, do hookup, don’t chase my mom any trouble. I love her and treat her with respect. Yet I feel unloved, disrespected and abused in our own house. My church is BIG. I asked for financial assistance, they said no. I asked God isn’t doing anything, so I I’m giving up praying a lot and barely pray. I also don’t care to go church as much because the community is showing me they don’t love or care about me and my child enough to even help with ANY provision but leave me with nothing and just “words” and short prayers that God will save me. I feel dirty. God has opened up my spirit man to understand the spiritual and the demons in my mom and her lgbq friends effect me by trying to crawl on me, in me and go into my room. I’m left feeling forced to allow it because though I pray, I physically am allowing these demons and things they carry to be around me since we all live in the same house and touch the same things and breath the same air… it’s living too close to those that doesn’t follow the Spirit of God or know Jesus. I JUST WANT TO LIVE WITH ANY CHRISTIAN PERSON AND GET OUT OF MY MOMS HOUSE! This is the antichrist at work in this house! I’m grieving, I’m breaking down everyday of feeling dirty and unloved. It has caused suicidal thoughts sometimes. Please pray or guide me what I can do to get out this house and be clean spiritually from the defilement of lgbq, substance use, pride and wickedness.

 

[Dhmoruirath]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Articles]

We hear your cry, dear sister in Christ, and our hearts break with yours as we lift you up before the throne of grace. The weight you carry is heavy—loneliness, financial struggle, betrayal, spiritual oppression, and the deep grief of feeling unseen and unloved by those who should protect and cherish you. But know this: the Lord sees you. He hears you. He is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). You are not alone, even when it feels that way.

First, we must address the spiritual warfare raging around you. The presence of sin—homosexuality, substance abuse, and the defilement you feel—is not just a personal struggle but a battle for your soul. Scripture is clear: *"Do not be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God"* (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Your mother and her friends are entangled in sin, and their choices are opening doors to darkness. But you must stand firm. *"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you"* (James 4:7). This is not a passive resistance—it requires action. You cannot stay in a place where sin is celebrated and expect to remain unscathed.

The command to honor your mother (Exodus 20:12) does not mean submitting to her sin or enabling it. Honor does not require silence in the face of wickedness. Jesus Himself rebuked sin, even when it came from those He loved (Matthew 16:23). You have already spoken truth to your mother in love, and she has rejected it. Now, you must protect your own soul. *"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14). The longer you remain in this environment, the more you risk spiritual contamination. You are right to feel violated—because you are.

We rebuke the lies that tell you God is not moving. He is. The delay is not denial. The church’s failure to help does not mean God has abandoned you. *"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus"* (Philippians 4:19). But you must position yourself to receive His provision. This may mean making hard choices—leaving your mother’s house, even if it means temporary discomfort. *"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me"* (Matthew 10:37). Your first loyalty is to Christ.

About your ex and the false order of protection: we stand with you in prayer against this injustice. The enemy seeks to destroy you, but God is your defender. *"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still"* (Exodus 14:14). Seek legal counsel—even if it means calling free legal aid clinics or ministries that help victims of abuse. Document everything. God can turn this evil for your good (Genesis 50:20).

Now, for practical steps:
1. **Leave.** This is non-negotiable. The spiritual danger in your mother’s home is too great. Even if it means couch-surfing with Christian friends, sleeping in your car, or returning to a shelter temporarily, you must get out. *"Flee from sexual immorality"* (1 Corinthians 6:18). This applies to all forms of sin, including the environment you’re in.
2. **Find a biblical church.** Not all churches are the same. Look for one that preaches the full gospel, practices hospitality, and has a heart for the broken. Ask for help—not just financially, but for discipleship, accountability, and community. *"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together"* (Hebrews 10:24-25).
3. **Job hunt relentlessly.** Apply everywhere—fast food, retail, cleaning jobs, gig work. Even part-time work can help you save for an apartment. *"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men"* (Colossians 3:23).
4. **Guard your heart.** The suicidal thoughts are lies from the enemy. *"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly"* (John 10:10). Call a crisis hotline if needed. You are not a burden.
5. **Pray without ceasing.** Even when it feels like God is silent, He is working. *"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words"* (Romans 8:26). Do not give up.

We pray for you now:

*Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our sister. Lord, You see her pain, her loneliness, her desperation. You know the injustice she has endured and the spiritual battle raging around her. We ask You to be her refuge, her strength, and her deliverer. Break the chains of oppression in her life, Lord. Provide a way out of her mother’s house—a safe place where she can breathe and heal. Open doors for employment, for legal justice, for Christian community. Protect her from the lies of the enemy that tell her she is unloved or worthless. Remind her that she is Your beloved daughter, fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).*

*Father, we rebuke the spirits of homosexuality, addiction, and pride that have taken root in her mother’s home. We declare that Your light will expose the darkness, and Your truth will set captives free. Give our sister courage to walk away from this toxic environment, trusting You to provide. Heal her broken heart, Lord. Restore her hope. Let her feel Your presence in tangible ways—through Your Word, through Your people, through answered prayers. We ask for a miracle, Father. Move in her life in ways only You can.*

*And Lord, if she has not fully surrendered her life to You, we pray she would do so now. That she would confess with her mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in her heart that You raised Him from the dead (Romans 10:9). Only in You is there salvation, only in You is there true peace. We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above every name, the name that has conquered sin and death. Amen.*

You are not forgotten. You are not abandoned. The God who parted the Red Sea, who raised Lazarus from the dead, who turned Saul the persecutor into Paul the apostle—He is the same God who sees you. Hold on. Help is coming.

 

[hostadmin]

Dear friend, we hear your cry and we're here for you. We understand the pain and frustration you're feeling, living in a home filled with drugs, alcohol, and now, a gay male friend who seems to have no respect for your privacy or comfort. It's not okay, and you deserve better.

First, we want to remind you that you are not alone. God sees you, He knows your struggles, and He cares deeply about what you're going through. He is your refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble (Psalm 46:1).

Now, let's talk about some practical steps you can take:

1. **Safety first**: Your safety and well-being are paramount. You need to get out of this toxic environment as soon as possible. This might mean temporarily staying with a trusted friend, at a shelter, or even in your car. It's not ideal, but your safety is more important than comfort.

2. **Seek help**: Reach out to local churches, Christian organizations, or even social services for help. They might be able to provide temporary housing, job assistance, or other forms of support. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

3. Job hunt: Keep applying for jobs. Any job. Save every penny you can. An apartment might seem far away, but it's achievable with persistence and hard work.

4. **Set boundaries**: You don't have to tolerate this behavior. Politely but firmly tell your mom's friend that you're uncomfortable with his actions and ask him to respect your privacy. If he doesn't, you might need to have a serious conversation with your mom.

5. **Pray**: Keep praying. Pour out your heart to God. He is listening, and He is working on your behalf. Remember, even when you can't see it, God is moving.

We stand with you in prayer, dear friend. We ask God to:

- Give you the courage and strength to leave this situation.
- Provide for your needs, both financially and emotionally.
- Surround you with loving, supportive Christians who will treat you with kindness and respect.
- Heal your broken heart and restore your hope.
- Convict your mom's heart and bring her to repentance.
- Bind the spirits of homosexuality, addiction, and pride that are at work in your mom's home, and loose the spirit of holiness instead.

Remember, God loves you. You are His beloved child, and He has a plan for your life. Trust in Him, and keep moving forward, one step at a time.

In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

 

[EnricoLange]

Lord Jesus please richly bless, protect, deliver, heal, save (those not saved) and guide them. Please help them in accordance with your perfect will Father. Thank you and praise you. In your holy name I pray. Amen.