Deep anguish

Grace23

Prayer Partner
I'm hurting so bad right now.. I have been struggling with alcohol for so long and I've started trying to recover about 4 years ago and have relapsed many times. The last time I relapsed was 3 months ago and I just stop drinking 2 days ago. The first week sober is always the hardest because I get really lonely especially at night time and I constantly think of all my past mistakes and bad ways I treated ppl I love. I get this fear and anxiety of the sober process because I know it's so sad at the beginning and for me. I also go back to work Monday and I'm nervous to be back. This time I'm going to be living with my dad at beginning of this sobriety journey. I pray father in Jesus name that you heal my deep anguish and sadness that's in my spirit, please comfort and protect me and remind me that you will never leave nor forsake me. I pray that you remind me that I don't have to worry about work or tomorrow and that have not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and sound mind. I pray father that your with me every second of everyday guiding my steps and showing me I can trust you. And I pray that the holy spirits presence stays in my dad's house and keeps us safe. I love you and I'm grateful for everything you've done for me father, the bad things and the good things. In Jesus name I pray amen.
 
We hear the deep anguish in your words and we join with you in this painful and lonely moment, thanking you for praying so honestly in the name of Jesus. It is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and it is precious that you have come to Him in that name, for there is no other name by which we are saved and by which we find mercy and grace. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.

We want to gently but firmly address the struggle with alcohol as Scripture does. The Word tells us plainly, Don’t be drunken with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit Ephesians 5:18. Drunkenness enslaves the heart and body and clouds the mind, and Proverbs 20:1 warns Wine is a mocker and beer is a brawler. Whoever is led astray by them is not wise. We do not say this to condemn you, for there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus Romans 8:1, but to remind you that God calls you to freedom and sobriety, and He provides the way to walk in it. No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it 1 Corinthians 10:13. Your relapse does not mean you are beyond His grace. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness 1 John 1:9.

We understand why the first week feels so heavy, especially at night when loneliness presses in and memories of past mistakes rise up. The enemy wants to use those memories to keep you in shame, but God wants to heal you and cover your past with His forgiveness. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3 and Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18. When you remember how you have treated people you love, bring those specific sins to the Lord in confession, receive His cleansing, and where it is possible and wise, seek to make amends with humility. Remember also Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. You do not have to carry that weight alone any longer.

Your fear and anxiety about sobriety and about returning to work on Monday is real, and we pray with you against it. You quoted the truth so well and we cling to it with you, For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control 2 Timothy 1:7. We also remember Hebrews 13:5 Be content with such things as you have, for he has said, I will in no way leave you, neither will I in any way forsake you. You are not abandoned in the night and you are not alone at work. Cast all your worries on him, because he cares for you 1 Peter 5:7. In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:6-7. And we hold to Matthew 6:34 Therefore don’t be anxious for tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Each day’s own evil is sufficient. God only asks you to walk faithfully with Him today.

We are grateful that you will be living with your father at the beginning of this journey. This can be a gracious provision for accountability, safety, and love. Honor him in that home and let that home be a place where the Holy Spirit is welcomed through prayer, through the Word, and through turning away from anything that would invite temptation. Invite your father to pray with you, and seek fellowship with other believers who will walk with you, perhaps a pastor or a trusted mature Christian and a Christ centered recovery fellowship, so that nighttime loneliness is met with prayer and Scripture rather than isolation.

We pray together for you now.

Father, in the name of Jesus we come before You for our dear one who is hurting so deeply. We ask You to heal the deep anguish and sadness in the spirit and to bind up every wound. Lord, comfort and protect and let Your presence be felt in the lonely night hours. Remind this dear one moment by moment that You will never leave nor forsake, that You are near to the brokenhearted, and that You give power and love and a sound mind instead of fear. We ask You to guard the heart and mind with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Guide every step, day by day, and teach a deeper trust in You. We pray for strength to remain sober today, for the way of escape when temptation comes, and for the filling of Your Holy Spirit instead of wine. We pray for peace about returning to work on Monday, for favor and steadiness there, and for Your hand of protection and holiness to rest upon the father's house, keeping all who dwell there safe. We thank You that You work all things for good for those who love You, and we thank You for Your forgiveness that removes our sins as far as the east is from the west. We trust You to restore what has been broken and to make this life a testimony of Your deliverance. In Jesus name we pray, amen.

We encourage you to keep crying out to Jesus through every lonely night, to open the Psalms aloud when fear rises, to call a trusted believer when the urge comes, and to remember that God measures your life not by your relapses but by the righteousness of Christ given to you. He is with you every second of every day, and His grace is sufficient for today.
 
We hear how heavy this moment feels for you, and we are grateful you reached out so honestly. Two days sober after four years of trying so hard, with many relapses along the way, takes real courage. It makes sense that the first week would feel lonely at night and bring up memories of past hurts and worry about going back to work on Monday.

Living with your dad right now sounds like a steady place to begin again, and it is good you want his home to be a place of peace and safety. Having someone nearby during those long evenings can make a difference, especially when thoughts get loud.

If you are able, we encourage you to reach out soon to a trusted pastor, counselor, or recovery support person who can walk with you in person through these early days, and to a medical professional as well for support with the physical and emotional strain of early sobriety, alongside prayer and not instead of it. It can also help to make a simple plan for the nights before they come, like letting your dad know when loneliness hits hardest or having someone you can call or meet with, and to talk through the return to work with one supportive person beforehand so Monday does not feel so unknown.

Father, we lift our friend to You in Jesus' name. Bring Your comfort into the deep anguish and sadness, calm the fear and anxiety, and make Your nearness felt day and night. Guard and bless this time in his dad's house, guide each step, and give strength for tonight, for tomorrow, and for work on Monday. Remind him he is not alone and not forsaken. Amen.
 

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