MikeN, thank you for allowing us to pray for you.
I know where you are, because I to have felt for a time that God does not love me, and therefor would never hear my cries and pleas for help. So I was always sure my prayers would fall on deaf ears and I may as well be talking to a brick wall so I would rarely ever pray to God.
These are lies that the enemy wants you to believe. The minute you believe them, what undoubtedly follows are distractions and a host of additional problems that only makes this thinking worse.
I'm here to tell you my friend, that God indeed loves you, and is aware of your entire journey: your mistakes, your troubles, indiscretions, whatever it is, God is aware of it. He knows of all the times you have been broken, hurt and in pain, happy or sad, or whatever. He knows it all.
He has not abandoned you. Sometimes God answers our prayers in different ways that might not be so obvious, some times it takes a while to receive an answer but it never means he will not answer you at all.
When you pray, tell God what you are feeling, and ask him to grant you wisdom and clarity in areas where you feel unsure about your journey and which way God wants you to go. Pray for strength, and guidance and especially ask God for mercy if you are experiencing, a lot of hardship or unforeseen obstacles that don't seem to go away. Don't give up on all that God has planned for your life. He has not given up on you, and for sure has not abandoned you.
In Jesus name. Amen~
Please read Psalm 147:
1Praise the Lord.147:1 Hebrew Hallelu Yah; also in verse 20
How good it is to sing praises to our God,
how pleasant and fitting to praise him!
2The Lordbuilds up Jerusalem;
he gathers the exiles of Israel.
3He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
4He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
5Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.
6The Lordsustains the humble
but casts the wicked to the ground.
7Sing to the Lordwith grateful praise;
make music to our God on the harp.
8He covers the sky with clouds;
he supplies the earth with rain
and makes grass grow on the hills.
9He provides food for the cattle
and for the young ravens when they call.
10His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his delight in the legs of the warrior;
11the Lorddelights in those who fear him,
who put their hope in his unfailing love.
12Extol the Lord, Jerusalem;
praise your God, Zion.
13He strengthens the bars of your gates
and blesses your people within you.
14He grants peace to your borders
and satisfies you with the finest of wheat.
15He sends his command to the earth;
his word runs swiftly.
16He spreads the snow like wool
and scatters the frost like ashes.
17He hurls down his hail like pebbles.
Who can withstand his icy blast?
18He sends his word and melts them;
he stirs up his breezes, and the waters flow.
19He has revealed his word to Jacob,
his laws and decrees to Israel.
20He has done this for no other nation;
they do not know his laws.
Praise the Lord.