My Dear ###,
May God grant your request, with blessings beyond measure, even more than you have asked. May He flood your heart with His kindness, compassion, love, and mercy so you may come to experience His true Love, Joy, and Peace In Jesus' Name. Amen.
I myself have suffered years of depression and debilitating panic attacks. My sense of worthlessness was to the point that I have had suicidal thoughts many many times. I pray that you can come to fully trust God, because only then can you overcome the fear and unhappiness that comes from our dire circumstances. As a believer, He loves and cares for you. He has a plan for you, and a great purpose. I know it is next to impossible to see beyond the difficulties we sometimes go through, but please understand that God is there, and He has not forgotten you, nor will He forsake you.
In the Bible, Paul spoke of being content in all circumstances, those when he had plenty, and those when he lacked, and was even in prison awaiting execution. Paul was able to go to say that he considered the sufferings of today to be nothing compared to the glorious riches that await us in Christ. I've read those words many times (I believe in Philippians. When I was depressed however, those words gave little comfort. In fact, to me it was almost a slap in the face. I wondered why Paul was able to be filled with Joy and Peace while I was unable to experience any sense of peace or joy at all. I have been through times like that on several different occasions. Today, my financial circumstances and health are as bad as they ever were, but I feel hopeful and at peace. By focusing on God, and His providence, and knowing that He cares for me and knows what I need, today I am able to write this with a sense of peace and I have hope for the future. I have no idea what will happen, but I'm just not worried about it. God is faithful.
I hope you can push through. This is a valley in your life, but it will pass. I don't know when, but it WILL pass. Know that he loves you and He will be with you. Spend time in prayer and in reading His Word. If you can, spend time with other believers and let them pray with you. These are the things which have helped me in the last couple of weeks.
May Christ be with you, and may you be comforted by His Holy Spirit.
God bless,
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