Anonymous
Beloved of All
Dear Jesus God now I feel happy that I can say everything more, now I'm having a very serious problem. I'm becoming jealous and feeling upset and cheated. It's like this: I had a boyfriend who didn't ask me for any lunch, but I gave him lunch two days now. My sister got upset, which I was wrong to admit it. Now, when I used to work, she used to give her boyfriend food, so what's the difference? Now she's trying to make herself look good and take what I purchase to accommodate her lover, like seriously, it is okay when the tables turn. I have my friends; she follows them around, and I don't say anything, and now she doesn't want me around her friend. And look, she stocks herself to Michael until he starts to do it to not that he's a person of just one woman status. I just feel like I should run away seriously. I feel like I don't know what else to do. Every night I go to bed angry at her and myself. God Jesus, I don't want to live my life that way. I'm asking for your help. I don't want to be a bad-hearted person. I want to love and give love and most of all get love. I'm feeling very much jealous. I feel like nobody likes me because I'm not pretty enough. I feel cheated. I feel ugly. Every time I try to have a relationship, the person just stops paying me any mind even when I'm showing them more interest than ever. They treat me like dirt. I don't know what to do. It's truly killing me. It's eating my whole soul away. Most of all, it's tearing my faith down so fast. I don't know what to do. I want to remain faithful to you, Lord. Help me to do so. Remember, I'm only human, and I'm weak. You've sent your son to die for us. God, he was still strong. He came with power and dominion. God, I have no power. I am a weak human, so help me. Please don't leave me. Show me you're there for me always, please. I'm really lonely, and God, seriously, I can't date someone I'm not attracted to. I can't find myself to do it, please. I'm not being prejudiced, but I just want you to know and understand stuff about me, please. Yes, I love light-skinned people, but not that I love all of them. I have a special type that I love. God Jesus, I know you have me in your plans. I know you have great plans for me. Help me to continue loving, respecting, honoring, keep holding on to you, please help me in every way, God.
Ok, I will tell you, I let myself go first to Leroy, then Kevoy, who treated me like dirt. I had never felt like this before, God. It's terrible. I felt like I couldn't go through it. I felt at that time like I shouldn't be born. Even now, it left a stain on me. No, I fell in love with this guy at the gym, Rowan. He went away and came back. After he came back, I don't know what happened. He treated me like hell when I tried to get with him. God, all lead me on and then treat me stupid. Then I tried with my classmate, God, it was worse also. He tried to have sex with me, left me on the road, and drove off like I'm a piece of dirt. I felt bad. Now I met this guy at work. First, he was like watching me, then all of a sudden, he starts to get attracted to Lotaya. God, I was feeling horrible then I noticed he was coming back to me. I had a friend. I asked her to find out if he has a girlfriend. He said yes, so I told her no. Then he said I was a good girl, God, why didn't I let it stay the same? I went back, asked him for his number. He was a bit resentful, then he gave it to me after he told me what time to call because of his girl. Don't know what happened. I called him. He told me to call back, then he does answer, and when I call back, lol, I sent him a message long after he didn't answer, but I went down the stairs one day, hear him chatting me with Javaughn, lol. God, I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but Jesus, if you're here with me, let me know because it's a shame. I'm feeling serious if you ever know how I'm feeling, God. I wish you could know and feel my feels. It's not like you who can vanish and come out victorious. It's not me. I'm not a person that can work a miracle. I have to live with the shame whenever everyone looks at me and has my name all over and never forget about me. God, next, it's with Michael. He's a work, God, seriously. I felt so deep in love with him, and he led me on, God, seriously. I'm so down. I don't know how to get over this. He knows how I feel about him, and he just treats me like I don't have the words. God, I'm just leaving them alone. I hope you understand that I'm lonely. I really would love for you to send me someone that both of us feel the same about each other, love, I mean. I don't know if I'm asking for too much. I don't know what is happening. I don't want to give up. I want to remain with you. Please, I'm old in age now. I feel self-conscious about myself. I'm feeling like I'm alone here in this battle. I'm trying not to do wrong stuff, please. I know it's only me it will hurt, but I beg of your favor, please, Lord. I beg for a happy home with my family, a God-fearing Chinese or white man who's of my loving who loves me like you do, 2 sets of healthy God-loving triplets, a great job, wealth that I can take care of my family, life, health, love, forgiveness, and all of your blessings. Please, I'm asking you for your undivided attention. I'm loving, and it's hurting me. I don't want to take away love from my life, please. I don't want to be a sycophant, please, God. Please, I'm begging you. I'm beseeching to you, God. Please.
Ok, I will tell you, I let myself go first to Leroy, then Kevoy, who treated me like dirt. I had never felt like this before, God. It's terrible. I felt like I couldn't go through it. I felt at that time like I shouldn't be born. Even now, it left a stain on me. No, I fell in love with this guy at the gym, Rowan. He went away and came back. After he came back, I don't know what happened. He treated me like hell when I tried to get with him. God, all lead me on and then treat me stupid. Then I tried with my classmate, God, it was worse also. He tried to have sex with me, left me on the road, and drove off like I'm a piece of dirt. I felt bad. Now I met this guy at work. First, he was like watching me, then all of a sudden, he starts to get attracted to Lotaya. God, I was feeling horrible then I noticed he was coming back to me. I had a friend. I asked her to find out if he has a girlfriend. He said yes, so I told her no. Then he said I was a good girl, God, why didn't I let it stay the same? I went back, asked him for his number. He was a bit resentful, then he gave it to me after he told me what time to call because of his girl. Don't know what happened. I called him. He told me to call back, then he does answer, and when I call back, lol, I sent him a message long after he didn't answer, but I went down the stairs one day, hear him chatting me with Javaughn, lol. God, I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but Jesus, if you're here with me, let me know because it's a shame. I'm feeling serious if you ever know how I'm feeling, God. I wish you could know and feel my feels. It's not like you who can vanish and come out victorious. It's not me. I'm not a person that can work a miracle. I have to live with the shame whenever everyone looks at me and has my name all over and never forget about me. God, next, it's with Michael. He's a work, God, seriously. I felt so deep in love with him, and he led me on, God, seriously. I'm so down. I don't know how to get over this. He knows how I feel about him, and he just treats me like I don't have the words. God, I'm just leaving them alone. I hope you understand that I'm lonely. I really would love for you to send me someone that both of us feel the same about each other, love, I mean. I don't know if I'm asking for too much. I don't know what is happening. I don't want to give up. I want to remain with you. Please, I'm old in age now. I feel self-conscious about myself. I'm feeling like I'm alone here in this battle. I'm trying not to do wrong stuff, please. I know it's only me it will hurt, but I beg of your favor, please, Lord. I beg for a happy home with my family, a God-fearing Chinese or white man who's of my loving who loves me like you do, 2 sets of healthy God-loving triplets, a great job, wealth that I can take care of my family, life, health, love, forgiveness, and all of your blessings. Please, I'm asking you for your undivided attention. I'm loving, and it's hurting me. I don't want to take away love from my life, please. I don't want to be a sycophant, please, God. Please, I'm begging you. I'm beseeching to you, God. Please.
