R
rikkylynch
Guest
Dear God,
Hi. Since high school and my parents getting divorce at the same time, my life has been nothing but a joke! What I do or try, it seems to go downhill from relationships to jobs to money. It's been 24 years and I am very sad, depressed, and sometimes suicidal. I am too shy, lonely, quiet person and don't socialize with people that much. I just wish I wasn't born like this. I've tried to take care of myself by living alone and that too went not too well. I've never had a steady job in my entire life. All the money I get from my work, I try to save, but it seems to go away to things I have to pay like rent and bills. In 2007, my life really really started going downhill. I got fired from one job, and also lost my other job since I didn't have a car for work (it was stolen from my garage), I also had to end my apartment lease since I didn't have enough money to pay rent. I had no one in my family to turn to for help or support. I then called my cousins from California and they decided to take me in and help me out. January 2008, I started my new job the next day I arrived (my cousin got me the job BEFORE I moved to CA (yes, I even took the bus ride with only $### in my pocket). After 5 months of working, I got myself a new car. Things went well till 2010, I did something I really really regret because it actually cost me my job position of November 2011. Since I started as a temporary employee, I was never offered a permanent job but the company decided to still let me work there. I know EXACTLY why I am not permanent till this day. Btw, I started to drink liquor every night before bed because I can't sleep normal like other people's. Drinking was what caused me to NOT get hired within my company because I wrote a "dirty naughty" message to one of my co-workers. Gosh, I feel so bad right now. November 2011, I got laid off from my work and haven't been working since. Recently, they started calling other temps to go back to work but the company didn't bother to call me back. I've been with the company for 5 years also (my ONLY job in CA). It's been almost 3 months and I still can't find a job. I applied for unemployment benefits but was denied. My money is getting very low and I have rent/bills to pay. Btw, I'm still living with my cousins. Without money/job, I am very afraid I don't know how I am going to pay for anything. If I didn't get laid off, I wouldn't be so sad and depressed right now. Bottom line God, can you please tell me my life will get better. Please help me get through these rough times. I know you know EVERYTHING about me. I just want to stop being so lonely, quiet, sad, depressed all the time. I just want to have a normal life just like any person out there. Please God, help me!!! Why am I the way I am????
Hi. Since high school and my parents getting divorce at the same time, my life has been nothing but a joke! What I do or try, it seems to go downhill from relationships to jobs to money. It's been 24 years and I am very sad, depressed, and sometimes suicidal. I am too shy, lonely, quiet person and don't socialize with people that much. I just wish I wasn't born like this. I've tried to take care of myself by living alone and that too went not too well. I've never had a steady job in my entire life. All the money I get from my work, I try to save, but it seems to go away to things I have to pay like rent and bills. In 2007, my life really really started going downhill. I got fired from one job, and also lost my other job since I didn't have a car for work (it was stolen from my garage), I also had to end my apartment lease since I didn't have enough money to pay rent. I had no one in my family to turn to for help or support. I then called my cousins from California and they decided to take me in and help me out. January 2008, I started my new job the next day I arrived (my cousin got me the job BEFORE I moved to CA (yes, I even took the bus ride with only $### in my pocket). After 5 months of working, I got myself a new car. Things went well till 2010, I did something I really really regret because it actually cost me my job position of November 2011. Since I started as a temporary employee, I was never offered a permanent job but the company decided to still let me work there. I know EXACTLY why I am not permanent till this day. Btw, I started to drink liquor every night before bed because I can't sleep normal like other people's. Drinking was what caused me to NOT get hired within my company because I wrote a "dirty naughty" message to one of my co-workers. Gosh, I feel so bad right now. November 2011, I got laid off from my work and haven't been working since. Recently, they started calling other temps to go back to work but the company didn't bother to call me back. I've been with the company for 5 years also (my ONLY job in CA). It's been almost 3 months and I still can't find a job. I applied for unemployment benefits but was denied. My money is getting very low and I have rent/bills to pay. Btw, I'm still living with my cousins. Without money/job, I am very afraid I don't know how I am going to pay for anything. If I didn't get laid off, I wouldn't be so sad and depressed right now. Bottom line God, can you please tell me my life will get better. Please help me get through these rough times. I know you know EVERYTHING about me. I just want to stop being so lonely, quiet, sad, depressed all the time. I just want to have a normal life just like any person out there. Please God, help me!!! Why am I the way I am????
I just wish my life would make a complete turn around. I feel I have such much negative forces around me that don't want me to be happy in my life. I know it may sound weird, but it's how I'm feeling right now..
