Daughter that has turned away from God

We hear the deep ache in your heart for your daughter and we join with you in bringing her before the throne of grace in Jesus' name. To see a child turn away from God and consider abandoning the covenant of marriage and the precious family God has entrusted to her is a heavy burden, and we weep with you over this.

We must speak the truth in love about what God says concerning marriage. Marriage is not a contract to be broken when feelings change or when sin enters in, it is a holy covenant before God between one man and one woman for life. Jesus said, What therefore God has joined together, don't let man tear apart in Matthew 19:6 and also For I hate divorce, says Yahweh, the God of Israel in Malachi 2:16. The desire to leave a marriage of many years with beautiful boys is not from the Lord, and we must lovingly rebuke that plan. Those boys are a heritage from Yahweh as Psalm 127:3 tells us, and they need the stability and love of both their mother and father under one roof. For your daughter to walk away would bring deep wounds to her husband, her children, and to herself, and would not honor God.

We also must address the sin itself. Your request says she has sinned. Scripture says for all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God in Romans 3:23, but sin has consequences and must be repented of, not used as a reason to compound sin with more sin by breaking the marriage vow. If this sin involves adultery or sexual immorality, God calls that fornication and adultery and says You shall not commit adultery in Exodus 20:14, and that marriage should be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled in Hebrews 13:4. Yet there is hope, for If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness in 1 John 1:9. God is able to forgive, restore, and heal what is broken if she will turn back to Him with a repentant heart.

We notice your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to gently remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and that any of us can be saved or restored. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me in John 14:6 and There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved in Acts 4:12. Your daughter's greatest need is not just to save her marriage, but to be reconciled to God through faith in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for her sins and rose again. If she will confess with her mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in her heart that God raised him from the dead, she will be saved as Romans 10:9 promises. We pray she will remember the prodigal path and return home to her Father as in Luke 15:18-20.

So we encourage you to continue to love her without condoning her sin, to speak the truth with grace, to stand firmly for the sanctity of her marriage, and to pray without ceasing. Do not encourage or make it easy for her to leave, but rather urge her toward repentance, counseling with a faithful pastor, and reconciliation with her husband where possible. God can redeem even the darkest season. With God all things are possible in Matthew 19:26.

We pray together for you, for her, for her husband and for those precious boys.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our only Savior and mediator. We lift up this dear daughter who has turned away from You. Lord, convict her heart by Your Holy Spirit, bring her to godly sorrow and true repentance for her sin, and draw her back to Yourself. Soften her heart toward You and toward her marriage covenant. Help her to see the beauty and holiness of marriage and the sacred trust of her children. We pray You would place a hedge of protection around her marriage and not allow the enemy to destroy it. Give her husband strength and grace to love as Christ loved the church and to extend forgiveness as You have forgiven us in Ephesians 4:32. Protect those beautiful boys from confusion and hurt, and let them see the power of Your restoration. Give this praying parent wisdom, courage, and peace that passes understanding, and help them to not grow weary in praying and loving. Restore what the locusts have eaten, Lord, and let this family be a testimony of Your redeeming love. We ask all this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
 
We hear how heavy this is to watch your daughter step away from her faith and now consider walking away from her marriage and her boys. As her parent you carry grief on two levels, love for her and deep concern for your grandchildren and for what this could mean for all of you for years to come.

Divorce is not just a legal change. Even when people hope it will bring relief, it is experienced like a death, the death of a marriage, and the grief and adjustment often take years. Research and pastoral experience both show that children feel that loss deeply and for a long time, even when parents try to protect them. Knowing that can help make sense of why you feel such urgency and sorrow right now.

You cannot make her choices for her, and trying to force a decision often pushes a loved one further away. What you can do is remain a steady, loving presence who keeps the door open, speaks truth with gentleness when she invites conversation, and continues to be a safe and stable support for your grandsons.

If she is at all willing, it can help to gently invite her to meet with a trusted pastor or counselor together, not to corner her but to give her a place to be heard and to consider next steps more clearly.

Father, we lift this mother and her daughter and these boys to You in Jesus' name. Bring wisdom where there is confusion, soften what has grown hard, and guard these children with Your peace. Give this parent strength to love well, to rest in You, and to trust You with what she cannot control. Amen.
 
Your heavy burden has been brought before the Lord and before His people, and we join you in prayer with a sorrowful yet hopeful heart. To see a daughter turn away from the God who made her and to hear that she would forsake the covenant of her marriage is a grief that only a parent can fully know, and we do not treat it lightly.

The Scriptures give us a true picture of one who has wandered. Like the prodigal, she has taken interests apart from her Father, and has sought to find life in a far country. Yet the same Scriptures tell us that the Father has a long range of eyesight, and while she is yet a great way off, He sees her. It is not the position of one who is careless and entirely regardless of God that gives hope, but when the wanderer comes to herself and says, I will arise and go unto my Father, there is mercy waiting.

Be assured that the way home is open through Jesus Christ alone, for God was in Christ reconciling the world unto Himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them. He has prepared everything that is necessary for a perfect reconciliation. When the prodigal returned, the father saw him and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him in much love. That much kissing meant much forgiveness, and full restoration. The father would not let him say, Make me as one of thy hired servants, but pressed him to his bosom and confessed him as a son. So it shall be with every sinner who returns with a broken and contrite heart. Though sins be many, they are forgiven freely, and the one who was far off is restored as if he had never gone away. There is music and dancing in the Father's house over one that returns, and overflowing comfort for the weary soul.

We cannot ask God to bless the breaking of what He has joined together, for marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and it is to be held in honour by all. To leave a husband and to divide a home where little children dwell is not the path of life, but the way of further sorrow. We pray therefore not for the prospering of such a purpose, but for its forsaking. We ask the Lord to show her the exceeding sinfulness of sin, to trouble her thoughts as He troubled Manasseh in his prison, that she may remember the God of her father and mother, and to grant her repentance unto life.

Our prayer for your daughter is that the Lord will by His Spirit bring her to herself, that He will give her the look which Peter received, which severed him from the crowd and melted his heart, and that she will turn again with weeping to the Saviour who waits to forgive. We pray for her husband, that he may be upheld in this trial, and for those beautiful boys, that the Lord will hedge them about and keep them from the wound of a broken home. We pray that God would restore what sin would destroy, and make this marriage a testimony of His keeping power and reconciling grace.

Continue steadfast in prayer and in patient love. Speak the word of reconciliation faithfully, as God has committed it unto us, not in anger but in tears, and commend her daily to Him who is able to uplift those whom Satan has sifted. He who prayed for Peter prays still for His own, and He will not lose His purchased possession. May the Lord give you strength to wait upon Him, and may you yet see your daughter pressed to her Father's bosom, restored to her God, to her vows, and to her home, to the joy of your heart and to the praise of His grace.
 

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