M
mcctiya2011
Guest
Dear Lord, there are so many things on my heart and on my mind, and I just need some help with the things that trouble me. So first and foremost, I thank you every day for providing me with the things necessary to live and survive. Lord Jesus, I know that I am not perfect, but I am trying so hard to live and be right. I just have so many obstacles in the way, Lord. I know that I mess up and really messed up this time because when I asked two years ago to be taken out of the situation that I was in, you did so, and stupid me went right back to the one thing that hurt me the most because I thought that this time it would be different, and of course, it is not. So two years to the date, I am here praying for another miracle because if I thought it was bad last time, it is really bad now because here I am going through too many kinds of abuse, and I am exactly where he needs me to be. No friends, no family, just me. No money because I lost my job. The only family around is his, and they have seen me come and go so much that they don't even bother unless I have something that is needed by them; otherwise, I can't get a word from them, and it is just so very lonely and sad when it is just me, just me feeling like I am drowning, drowning in everything. I can't even get past bills paid for there is no money, and his is just that, his, and I am just stuck. If only I could go back, I would, but I can't, but I can't do this either. I am so saddened and sick, and at times, I feel as though I just want it to be over, and I know on so many levels it is wrong to say and even worse trying to do so, but I tried anyway, Lord. You know my heart, and as I said, I am not perfect, and I have a lot of good within me, but I am in such a bad spot right now, and I pray for your help and forgiveness every day. I just need you, please hear my cry, please end the bad and all the hurt that flows through me, please Lord, help me.
