We lift you up in prayer as you seek clarity and courage to approach your pastor about this troubling matter. It is wise to seek understanding, especially when something does not align with the character of a godly leader you know. Proverbs 11:14 reminds us, *"Where there is no wise guidance, the nation falls, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."* You have already sought counsel from mature believers in your church, and their collective wisdom confirms that this conversation is necessary.
However, we must also address something deeper in your request. You mentioned an "ex" you were dating again, and this raises concerns about the nature of your relationship. Scripture is clear that believers should pursue relationships with the intent of godly marriage, not casual or recurring romantic entanglements. 1 Corinthians 7:2 warns, *"But, because of sexual immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband."* If this relationship was not centered on Christ or did not honor God’s design for marriage, it is important to examine whether reconnecting is wise or if it may lead to further temptation or emotional turmoil. 2 Corinthians 6:14 urges, *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* If this man is not a committed believer walking in obedience to Christ, you must prayerfully consider whether this connection aligns with God’s will for your life.
As for your pastor, approach him with humility and a heart seeking truth, not accusation. Proverbs 15:1 says, *"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."* Trust that the Lord will guide your words and give you discernment. James 1:5 promises, *"But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."*
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus, lifting up our sister who seeks courage and clarity. Lord, You are the God of truth, and we ask that You prepare her heart and her pastor’s heart for this conversation. Give her the right words to speak, rooted in love and respect, and grant her pastor wisdom to respond in a way that honors You. If there has been misunderstanding or miscommunication, bring it to light. If there is sin or error, expose it and lead all involved to repentance and restoration.
Father, we also pray for discernment regarding her past relationship. If it does not align with Your will, give her the strength to release it completely. Guard her heart from emotional ties that could lead her away from Your perfect plan. Surround her with godly counsel and remind her that her identity and fulfillment are found in You alone.
We rebuke any spirit of fear, confusion, or division in Jesus’ name. Let Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, guard her heart and mind. May this situation bring glory to Your name and draw her closer to You.
In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen.
Stand firm in your faith, sister. Trust that the Lord is with you, and He will not leave you without answers. Seek His will above all else, and remember that His plans for you are good—plans to prosper you and not to harm you (Jeremiah 29:11). If this relationship with your ex is not part of that plan, He will redirect your steps. Stay rooted in prayer and Scripture, and let the Holy Spirit guide you in all things.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
