Continued prayer needed

[Amy]

I really need prayer. I am in so much emotional pain that I feel like I'm going to die. In fact, I can't believe I'm in this much pain and I'm still alive. I am a christian and love the lord. I am not perfect and have made mistakes but I do believe and love the lord. That being said, I think confession is good for the soul and if people are to properly pray for me perhaps I shouldn't hold anything back. A year and a half ago I met a man named Michael. Michael seemed to be so sweet and sincere and made me feel like I had some worth. My previous relationships had been really bad and at the point that I met Michael I had no self esteem. At first we were friends. He is a christian man and he counseled me and helped me work through a lot of emotional trauma. At some point the friendship took a turn into something more. At first I was really scared and backed off because I felt myself falling in love and didn't want to be hurt again.

Eventually I couldn't help myself. I realized I had fallen and their was no stopping it. One night after work, we kissed and it was like heat lightening. We fell in love and saw each other for 4 months and then Michael got scared and backed off for a month in November. My heart was broken. He said he freaked out because he couldn't stand to get hurt again the way he had been hurt in the past.

Right before Christmas we got back together again. We were going strong all the way until the middle of April when we found out I was pregnant. I lost the baby and it broke my heart. Michael was freaked out because he's 54 and I'm 37 but he seemed to handle it well enough at the time. I've been grieving over the loss ever since but have tried to hold it together. I actually feel guilty about it and blame myself.

Well we got over that hurtle and seemed to be getting closer. We both have kids from previous failed marriages and got through all our kids birthdays together because they all have their birthdays with in a month and halfs time.

We seemed to be doing alright despite what happened in April.

Well last weekend we went to Aspen together on a short vacation. It was beautiful. We had set aside the money to do this weeks in advance. We got back into town and parted on Sunday afternoon.

I received a few emails from him and a couple of phone calls, plus I saw him briefly on Wednesday. Wednesday night I got a call from him telling me that

he's afraid of the future, about him getting to retirement age in 11 years and the fact that I have young children is a real problem for him. He want's to break up because he feels the future will be difficult with him being so much older and me having such a young family. He swears he loves me and is in love with me but he just can't do it. My argument was that if two people truly love each other they can face anything together, get through anything together. He just wouldn't be swayed.

So here I am. I love this man with all my heart. I gave 100%, I did my very best. I opened up to this man. I have never opened up to another person and trusted them as much as I trusted Michael. I gave this man my heart and it's now stomped into saw dust.

I have given this man the last year and a half of my life. I have slept with him almost a hundred times and I'm not even the type of girl that does that.

I gave myself to him because I loved him and hoped we would face the future together. I thought our love was strong.

Now here I am a mess, torn apart and he's probably going to be playing in church on Sunday like everything is right as rain. He's a musician and plays bass at church every Sunday.

I feel betrayed. If you can't trust a christian man, who can you trust?

I wish that Michael would realize that you just don't throw love away because your afraid the road a head might be difficult.

Anyway, someone please pray for me. I'm a mess, my life is a mess and I don't know what to do. I can't keep walking around in this much pain.

 

[danielpaulcarey]

Lord, again I pray for Amy. She is still hurting from this. I remember asking for prayer for her a while back and I know you will help her Jesus. You say you will never leave us or forsake us so God, please provide her with a peace unlike any other she's known. Thank you Lord, Amen.

 

[PrayzOn]

Loving God: You have never let Amy go. You have been threre through every tear and you will never let her down. The pain she is in grieves your heart. Shoe her the best plan for her life. If this man is never going to really be your man then give her the strength to walk away. If he really is your man, then lead him into your paths for righteousness sake. Please help Amy have trustworthy, righteous, holy, loving support people in her life. Help them to know how to be the best support system for her. Tranform her today so that she knows that she is always safe in your arms, always loved by your heart, always and forever you are her God. Take away this false idea that she is not worth much. She is worth everything to you. You paid the price of your son for her. Let her get how much you have given just to be her God. Help her to understand there is no person anywhere worth more than her. Transform her with this assurance and give her peace. In Jesus name, Amen.

 

[silentangel]

Lord, Draw Amy close and wipe away those tears. You don't make junk and she is very important to you. May your will be done. Speak to her heart, mind and spirit and show her the way to go. May your hand be upon her and may your peace wash over her. If this is the man you chose for her, than I pray you would bring this relationship forward. If not, I pray you would shut the door and help her to move on. Help her to find healing from a broken heart. Give her grace. Blessings to her and her family. Lead and direct her path according to thy will. Amen