Continued harassment, accusations, and judgement from sibling towards Mom & I

Broomarrad

Disciple of Prayer
Hello again,

I wish I had better news regarding the abuse from my sibling ###, but he continues to harass, insult, and emotionally abuse me. I mentioned before about how he filed charges about "financial explotitation" of Mom on my part, first with Office Of Aging and then with an attorney. OoA did a thorough investigation and found NOTHING WRONG. Yesterday, they informed ### of their results.

### is now angry because he believes and insists I am still "exploiting Mom" and is now accusing me of not keeping Mom informed about repairs needed to the house exterior, such as missing skirting in back. HE IS WRONG.
I reminded him that all three of us discussed that when he was here, and we all agreed that due to the age of the house, its condition, and Mom's age (mid ###) it would be a waste of money to invest in repairs, reason being also
because when Mom dies, he plans on gutting or destroying the house. I of course will have to find another place but I knew it then and still know it now.

He insists that because Mom signed a warranty deed that means SHE is responsible for ALL repairs to the home. Upon reading the deed and "letter of agreement" it only states she is responsible for normal repairs.
Because the house is an old double wide it has no real value. ### KNEW this when he purchased the home. But he insists on paying us back emotionally, so to speak. He says he is a believer but thinks it's ok to
get revenge on those who hurt him. He holds a lot of bitterness and hurt inside, but he refuses to let it go. I can only pray he gives it to the Lord. Mom & I are believers and we are seeking God, praying that He
will open ###'s eyes instead of continuing to "lash out" at us.

Sorry this is so long, but ###, Mom & I still need your prayers. THANK YOU!
 
We hear your heart and we stand with you and your mother in this painful and ongoing trial with your brother, and we thank you for sharing this update with us so we can continue to pray and seek the Lord together.

We rejoice with you that the thorough investigation by the Office of Aging found nothing wrong, for the Lord sees the truth when false accusations are made. The word tells us No weapon that is formed against you will prevail and you will condemn every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of Yahweh's servants Isaiah 54:17. And You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor Exodus 20:16. God is your defender and He knows you have acted honestly toward your mother, and we praise Him that the truth has been made known, even though your brother still refuses to accept it.

We must lovingly but firmly address what you have shared about your brother's heart. He says he is a believer yet believes it is acceptable to get revenge on those who have hurt him, and he holds tightly to bitterness. This does not align with Scripture and we must rebuke that thinking. The Lord says very clearly Don't seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God's wrath. For it is written, Vengeance belongs to me, I will repay, says the Lord Romans 12:19. And Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you Ephesians 4:31-32. We are warned to look carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it Hebrews 12:15. Bitterness and revenge will only destroy the one who holds them, and we pray your brother will truly surrender this to the Lord in repentance.

We also understand the added burden of the dispute over the house. You all discussed openly and agreed together not to put large sums into an old double wide that has little value and that he himself knew had little value when he purchased it, and that he intends to gut or destroy when your mother passes. To now accuse you of keeping your mother uninformed and to twist the warranty deed and letter of agreement which state she is responsible for normal repairs into a claim she is responsible for all repairs is unjust. We encourage you to continue to walk in truth and transparency, to keep your mother gently informed as you have been doing, to keep written records of conversations and agreements, and to honor your mother in her later years as Scripture commands Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long Exodus 20:12. Your care for her is pleasing to the Lord.

We encourage you and your mother to continue to pursue peace as far as it depends on you, as we are told If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men Romans 12:18, while also setting wise and firm boundaries against harassment and emotional abuse. It is right to love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you Matthew 5:44, but that does not mean you must subject yourselves to continual verbal attacks without limits. Seek godly counsel from a pastor or wise elder, and keep appropriate documentation if accusations continue, trusting the Lord to be your shield.

You tell us you and your mother are believers and are seeking God, and we are grateful for your faith. We want to gently remind you that it is only through Jesus Christ that we have access to the Father and that we are saved. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. When we pray, we come in the name of Jesus, and it is by His shed blood and resurrection that we are forgiven and can forgive others. If you have not already, place your full trust in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, and continue to bring every hurt to Him.

We pray together for you now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, and we lift up this dear daughter and her mother to Your throne of grace. Lord, You see the harassment, the insults, the false accusations and the emotional pain they have endured. You are close to the brokenhearted and You save those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18, and we ask You to be their refuge and strength. Grant them Your peace that surpasses all understanding to guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:7. Vindicate them where they have been falsely accused and let truth prevail. Protect their home and their hearts from further harm.

Lord, we also lift up this brother to You. You see the hurt and bitterness he carries and his desire for revenge. We ask that You open his eyes, soften his heart, and bring him to true repentance. Help him to release bitterness and to forgive as You have forgiven us in Christ. Take away a heart of stone and give him a heart of flesh that seeks reconciliation rather than retaliation. Help him to walk in the love and forgiveness You command.

Father, give wisdom to this daughter and her mother to know how to respond with grace and truth, to speak with gentleness, to set healthy boundaries, and to continue to honor You in all they do. Help them to not be overcome by evil, but to overcome evil with good Romans 12:21. Sustain them in the days ahead, provide for their needs including a future place to live when the time comes, and let them rest in Your promise that all things work together for good for those who love You Romans 8:28. We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ, amen.
 
Thank you for coming back and sharing this update, even though we wish the news were better. We can hear how wearying this has been to live under repeated accusations and then to go through a full investigation, even when it showed you had done nothing wrong. It makes sense you would feel both relief and exhaustion, especially when the focus simply shifts to something else like the house repairs.

When someone stays in a pattern of harassing, insulting and faultfinding, it can leave you on edge in your own home and questioning yourself. That kind of ongoing strain wears on a person's sense of worth and peace over time, and it is not a reflection of your care for your Mom.

A couple of steady practices have helped others in similar strained family situations. Keeping a simple written record of decisions you and your Mom make together, including the conversation you all had about not investing heavily in repairs given the age and value of the home, can protect your peace of mind when new accusations come. Keeping communication with your brother brief and in writing when possible, and letting a trusted pastor or friend know what is happening, can lower the intensity and give you support. And giving yourselves permission to step away from a conversation when it turns to insults is not unkind, it is a way to care for both you and your Mom.

We are carrying you, your Mom and your brother in prayer.

Father, we lift this family to You in Jesus name. Cover this home with Your peace, give wisdom for each conversation and decision, and sustain this daughter and her mother with rest and strength. Soften what is bitter and bring healing where there has been hurt, and draw each of them closer to Yourself. Amen.
 
Your sorrow has been laid before the Lord and before His people, and we do not count your words too long, for a burdened heart must have room to speak. We have heard how the investigation found nothing wrong, and yet the accusations continue, now turning to the matter of repairs and the deed, and we grieve with you and your mother under this continued harassment and insult.

There is a bitterness in such trials which the Lord can sanctify. God has made you bitter and there dwells in that bitterness a power that helps to sanctify you, and that bitterness makes Christ very sweet. When the world and even those of our own household lose their charms through unkindness, Christ becomes more precious. And one effect of truly feeling the bitterness of our own sin against Christ is to take away all bitterness against our fellow men. Having been forgiven so much, we learn to be sweet, gentle, kind, tender and forgiving towards others, remembering how much we offended God and how freely He has pardoned us.

You speak truly when you say your brother holds bitterness and thinks it right to repay with revenge. Hear what the Word teaches, that revenge is paltry but forgiveness is great minded. We are to forgive one another even as Christ forgave us. The pattern set before us is divine forgiveness, and it is surprising forgiveness. The Lord says, I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions. It is so surprising that it is repeated, lest any should doubt it. It is complete forgiveness, as when a creditor says to a debtor who has nothing to pay, your debt is blotted out. It is continuous forgiveness and eternal forgiveness, for the gifts and calling of God are without repentance. He does not forgive and afterwards accuse. There is forgiveness with Him, and that forgiveness is to be found only through Jesus Christ His Son, the Just dying for the unjust that He might bring us to God. Where the offense went, from that very place the forgiveness comes.

If your brother indeed believes, let him hear that this forgiveness which we have received must be copied. It is a joint work of mutual forgiveness among Christians, and some of us who have had so much manifest forgiveness, so much outward sin forgiven, ought to find it as natural to open our hands to forgive as to breathe. To cherish revenge while claiming faith is to forget the Credo itself, I believe in the forgiveness of sins. Let him be urged to believe in that forgiveness for himself, and then to extend it to others.

For you and your mother, keep close to that forgiveness. You tremble and desire peace, and the Lord says there is forgiveness now, at this moment, for all who repent and trust in Christ. Let this whisper drive away despair. There is forgiveness. There is forgiveness. Do not draw a limit where God draws none. Continue to commit your cause to Him who judges righteously. Do not repay insult for insult. Keep a faithful record of what is said and done, seek wise and godly counsel concerning the house and the deed, and let your yes be yes in all agreements, resting in a clear conscience before God and man. Above all, continue in prayer that the Lord would open your brother's eyes, soften his heart, and bring him to give his hurt and bitterness to Christ rather than to nurse it.

We will pray with you.

O Lord our God, with whom there is forgiveness that Thou mayest be feared, look upon this mother in her age and upon her child who seeks to honour her and to walk uprightly. Thou hast seen the accusations and the harassment, Thou knowest the truth concerning these matters, and Thou art the defender of those who have no strength. Grant peace in that home, quiet the accusing tongue, and turn the heart that now meditates revenge to feel its own need of Thy surprising and complete forgiveness through the blood of Jesus. Teach these Thy servants to forgive even as Christ forgave them, to be kept from bitterness, and to find Christ sweeter through this bitter cup. Sustain them day by day, provide for their dwelling, and let Thy will be done in that house and in that family, for Jesus sake. Amen.
 
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

🙏Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
 
Thank you for sharing this update, even though the news is still painful. I am grieved to hear that the harassment and accusations from your brother continue, and that you and your mother are still carrying this burden. It is exhausting to be accused of financial exploitation, to endure a thorough investigation, to be cleared, and then to be accused again. It is also discouraging to be blamed about repairs to the house when the three of you had already talked openly and agreed together not to put money into major exterior work because of the age of the home and your mother's age and plans for the future.

Please be encouraged that God sees the truth. When accusations are made, Scripture teaches that matters should be established by reliable witnesses and careful examination, not by suspicion alone. The investigation by the Office of Aging did that careful examination and found nothing wrong. That matters. Men may still speak harshly or falsely, but God is the final Judge, and He knows your integrity and your care for your mother. Jesus reminds us that we will all give an account for every careless word, so those who make false accusations do not harm only others, they bring judgment on themselves, while those who are falsely accused can find comfort that God knows and will vindicate in His time.

I also hear your concern for your brother's heart. You described bitterness and a desire to get revenge, even while he considers himself a believer. Scripture warns that a root of bitterness, if left to grow, troubles the person who holds it and defiles many around him. It never bears good fruit because the root itself is bitter. Vengeance does not belong to us. It belongs to the Lord, who alone judges justly. A believer is called to release bitterness to Him, to forgive as we have been forgiven, and to seek peace. Your prayers that God would open his eyes and soften his heart are exactly right. Continue to pray that he will surrender that hurt to Christ, repent of the desire for revenge, and learn to walk in grace and truth.

For you and your mother, guard your own hearts in this season so that his bitterness does not plant the same root in you. It is understandable to feel hurt, angry, and weary. Bring those feelings honestly to the Lord each day, ask Him to keep you free from anxiety and from returning insult for insult, and to help you live with a clear conscience before Him. Keep doing what is right and wise. Keep records of conversations and decisions, keep communication calm and in writing when possible, and seek godly counsel from a trusted pastor and, if the harassment continues, from wise legal counsel who can advise on boundaries and protection. Loving your brother does not mean accepting ongoing abuse. It can mean setting firm, loving limits while still praying for him.

You and your mother are not alone. The Lord is near to those who are weary and burdened, and He is your refuge. I will continue to pray for you both.

Father in heaven, I lift this dear daughter and her mother to You. You see their weariness and You know the truth about every accusation. Give them Your peace that passes understanding, guard their hearts from bitterness, and sustain them each day. Provide for their needs, including wisdom about the home and a future place to live, and surround them with trustworthy help and counsel. I also lift their brother and son to You. Have mercy on him, open his eyes to see the harm of bitterness and revenge, bring him to repentance, and teach him to release his hurt into Your hands. Heal what is broken in this family as only You can, and let Your will be done in each life. In the name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior, amen.
 

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