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prplhayesr
Guest
Yesterday was a wake up call. I drove by my Ex's house last night after the super bowl and of course I saw his current girlfriend's car in the driveway. I could not sleep. I had prayed for GOD to send me the man he chose for me and I believe in my heart my Ex was it. My Ex was not a Christian when I met him. I told him how important GOD was and that any man that I would be with had to be Christian, in church and GOD fearing. He became all of that and then some. He was everything I prayed for my entire life. I met him when I was ###. Now to me. I am one to always say, you cannot do bad things and expect good things to happen. I have tried to live right my entire life. Well, I started doing bad things, I started gambling. This is on my mind and heart heavy. GOD does not like ugly and I was doing ugly. Gambling is one thing, but, when you are lying, cheating and stealing to support your habit, that is not good. I never told my Ex but, I since with the break up, he knew something wasn't right. We have been broken up almost a year. We talked about getting back together but he changed his mind and decided to stay with his current girlfriend. Well, I do not blame him. I am not living right. I lost my way. I know gambling is an addiction and a coping mechanism. It started the year we started dating and got out of control ever since. My brother got critically injured by a drunk driver and I miscarried the same year. Instead of me dealing with it, I found an outlet, Gambling. Now here I am single and alone because of my wrong doings. I do not like how we broke up I cannot change that. I wish he handled things differently. I feel like last night GOD spoke to me and said, see that home, I have that to you and you blew it. Today is day 1, no more gambling.
