I have been posting about wanting to leave the church I'm at due to the pastor mistreating me so much since I started attending a year ago. I went to church today and I had a good time. I didn't interact with the pastor at all - maybe it's better if I just avoid him unless necessary although I really don't like that - I think it's bad to be attending a church where you can't interact with the pastor at all but things seem better if I stay away from him. I had a few problems with him seemingly insulting me from the pulpit which he has done so much but things weren't so bad. I don't know...maybe it is God's will for us to stay here? This is my first time being back since I started praying about all this. I wish things would work out here. I really like this church. But there are so many things going wrong. Sometimes it seems that things are just always so much harder for me than other people - so many things.
Church
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We understand your heartache and the deep struggle you’re facing in this situation. It’s clear you love this church and desire to honor God, yet the pain caused by the pastor’s mistreatment has left you wounded and uncertain. Let us first affirm that your feelings are valid—no one should endure insults, especially from the pulpit, where God’s Word should be preached with love, humility, and care for the flock. The Bible warns us about the serious responsibility of shepherds over God’s people, and when a leader fails in this, it is a grievous matter.
Scripture tells us in **Ezekiel 34:2-4 (WEB)**, *"Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel... who feed themselves! Shouldn’t the shepherds feed the sheep? You eat the fat. You clothe yourself with the wool. You kill the fatlings, but you don’t feed the sheep. You haven’t strengthened the weak. You haven’t healed the sick. You haven’t bound up the injured. You haven’t brought back those who were driven away. You haven’t sought the lost."* A pastor is called to nurture, protect, and guide—not to belittle or harm. If this leader has repeatedly mistreated you, it is not a small matter, and your hesitation to stay is understandable. Avoiding interaction with him may bring temporary peace, but it does not address the root issue: a shepherd who is not acting as Christ would.
At the same time, we see your heart’s cry—you *want* this to work. You love the church, and that is beautiful. But we must ask: Is this truly a place where you can grow spiritually, or is the wounding overshadowing the good? **Hebrews 10:24-25 (WEB)** reminds us, *"Let’s consider how to provoke one another to love and good works, not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another; and so much the more, as you see the Day approaching."* Church should be a place of encouragement, not a source of pain. If this pastor’s behavior is causing you to dread fellowship or feel unwelcome, it may be time to prayerfully consider whether this is where God wants you long-term.
Now, let’s address something critical: you mentioned praying about this, but we noticed you didn’t invoke the name of Jesus in your request. There is *no* other name by which we can approach the Father, and there is *no* other name by which we are saved. **John 14:6 (WEB)** declares, *"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.'"* And **Acts 4:12 (WEB)** says, *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* If you haven’t already, we urge you to surrender this situation *fully* to Jesus, asking Him to reveal His will and grant you wisdom. Without Him, we can do nothing of eternal value.
As for your question—*is it God’s will for you to stay?*—we must seek His face earnestly. Sometimes God calls us to endure hardship for a season to refine us, but other times He leads us away from toxic environments. **Psalm 32:8 (WEB)** says, *"I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you shall go. I will counsel you with my eye on you."* Ask the Lord to make His path clear. If He is calling you to stay, He will give you the grace to forgive, the strength to confront (if necessary), and the peace to endure. If He is leading you elsewhere, He will open doors to a church where you are truly shepherded in love.
One thing we must gently but firmly address: if you stay, you *cannot* remain in a place of silent avoidance forever. **Matthew 18:15-17 (WEB)** teaches us how to handle conflict in the church: *"If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother. But if he doesn’t listen, take one or two more with you... If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the assembly."* If this pastor has sinned against you—whether through public insults or private mistreatment—it may be necessary to address it biblically, either directly (with wisdom and humility) or, if he is unrepentant, by seeking godly counsel from other mature believers in the church. Avoidance may protect you for a time, but it does not bring resolution or accountability.
Lastly, we want to speak to the deeper ache in your words: *"So many things are just always so much harder for me than other people."* Beloved, we hear you. The enemy wants you to believe you are alone in your struggles, that your pain is uniquely heavy, that God has forgotten you. But **1 Peter 5:8-9 (WEB)** warns us, *"Be sober and self-controlled. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Withstand him steadfast in your faith, knowing that your brothers who are in the world are undergoing the same sufferings."* You are *not* alone. Many of God’s faithful have walked through valleys of mistreatment, betrayal, and confusion—yet He has never abandoned them. **Psalm 34:18 (WEB)** promises, *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."*
---
Let us pray with you now:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our sister to You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Lord, You see the wounds in her heart—the confusion, the longing for peace, the desire to honor You even in the midst of pain. We ask that You would speak clearly to her, Lord. If it is Your will for her to remain at this church, grant her supernatural grace to forgive, wisdom to know how to proceed, and protection from further harm. Softens the pastor’s heart, Lord, and convict him if he has acted unjustly. Bring repentance where it is needed, and restoration where it seems impossible.
But if this is not the place You have for her, Father, make the path undeniable. Open doors to a church where she is nourished, loved, and discipled in truth. Remove the fear of the unknown and replace it with trust in Your goodness. Heal the places in her heart that have been bruised by mistreatment, and remind her that she is *Your* beloved daughter—precious, seen, and deeply cared for.
Lord, we rebuke the lies of the enemy that tell her she is alone, that her struggles are too heavy, that she must endure what is not of You. Fill her with Your peace that surpasses understanding, and let her know that You are working all things for her good—even this. Strengthen her, Lord, to seek You first in all things, to call upon the name of Jesus in every prayer, and to walk in the confidence that You are her Defender.
In the powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer, we pray. Amen.
Scripture tells us in **Ezekiel 34:2-4 (WEB)**, *"Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel... who feed themselves! Shouldn’t the shepherds feed the sheep? You eat the fat. You clothe yourself with the wool. You kill the fatlings, but you don’t feed the sheep. You haven’t strengthened the weak. You haven’t healed the sick. You haven’t bound up the injured. You haven’t brought back those who were driven away. You haven’t sought the lost."* A pastor is called to nurture, protect, and guide—not to belittle or harm. If this leader has repeatedly mistreated you, it is not a small matter, and your hesitation to stay is understandable. Avoiding interaction with him may bring temporary peace, but it does not address the root issue: a shepherd who is not acting as Christ would.
At the same time, we see your heart’s cry—you *want* this to work. You love the church, and that is beautiful. But we must ask: Is this truly a place where you can grow spiritually, or is the wounding overshadowing the good? **Hebrews 10:24-25 (WEB)** reminds us, *"Let’s consider how to provoke one another to love and good works, not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another; and so much the more, as you see the Day approaching."* Church should be a place of encouragement, not a source of pain. If this pastor’s behavior is causing you to dread fellowship or feel unwelcome, it may be time to prayerfully consider whether this is where God wants you long-term.
Now, let’s address something critical: you mentioned praying about this, but we noticed you didn’t invoke the name of Jesus in your request. There is *no* other name by which we can approach the Father, and there is *no* other name by which we are saved. **John 14:6 (WEB)** declares, *"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.'"* And **Acts 4:12 (WEB)** says, *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* If you haven’t already, we urge you to surrender this situation *fully* to Jesus, asking Him to reveal His will and grant you wisdom. Without Him, we can do nothing of eternal value.
As for your question—*is it God’s will for you to stay?*—we must seek His face earnestly. Sometimes God calls us to endure hardship for a season to refine us, but other times He leads us away from toxic environments. **Psalm 32:8 (WEB)** says, *"I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you shall go. I will counsel you with my eye on you."* Ask the Lord to make His path clear. If He is calling you to stay, He will give you the grace to forgive, the strength to confront (if necessary), and the peace to endure. If He is leading you elsewhere, He will open doors to a church where you are truly shepherded in love.
One thing we must gently but firmly address: if you stay, you *cannot* remain in a place of silent avoidance forever. **Matthew 18:15-17 (WEB)** teaches us how to handle conflict in the church: *"If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother. But if he doesn’t listen, take one or two more with you... If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the assembly."* If this pastor has sinned against you—whether through public insults or private mistreatment—it may be necessary to address it biblically, either directly (with wisdom and humility) or, if he is unrepentant, by seeking godly counsel from other mature believers in the church. Avoidance may protect you for a time, but it does not bring resolution or accountability.
Lastly, we want to speak to the deeper ache in your words: *"So many things are just always so much harder for me than other people."* Beloved, we hear you. The enemy wants you to believe you are alone in your struggles, that your pain is uniquely heavy, that God has forgotten you. But **1 Peter 5:8-9 (WEB)** warns us, *"Be sober and self-controlled. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Withstand him steadfast in your faith, knowing that your brothers who are in the world are undergoing the same sufferings."* You are *not* alone. Many of God’s faithful have walked through valleys of mistreatment, betrayal, and confusion—yet He has never abandoned them. **Psalm 34:18 (WEB)** promises, *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."*
---
Let us pray with you now:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our sister to You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Lord, You see the wounds in her heart—the confusion, the longing for peace, the desire to honor You even in the midst of pain. We ask that You would speak clearly to her, Lord. If it is Your will for her to remain at this church, grant her supernatural grace to forgive, wisdom to know how to proceed, and protection from further harm. Softens the pastor’s heart, Lord, and convict him if he has acted unjustly. Bring repentance where it is needed, and restoration where it seems impossible.
But if this is not the place You have for her, Father, make the path undeniable. Open doors to a church where she is nourished, loved, and discipled in truth. Remove the fear of the unknown and replace it with trust in Your goodness. Heal the places in her heart that have been bruised by mistreatment, and remind her that she is *Your* beloved daughter—precious, seen, and deeply cared for.
Lord, we rebuke the lies of the enemy that tell her she is alone, that her struggles are too heavy, that she must endure what is not of You. Fill her with Your peace that surpasses understanding, and let her know that You are working all things for her good—even this. Strengthen her, Lord, to seek You first in all things, to call upon the name of Jesus in every prayer, and to walk in the confidence that You are her Defender.
In the powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer, we pray. Amen.
We're right there with you, sister. It's tough when you love a church but struggle with the pastor's behavior. We understand your desire to make things work, and we appreciate your commitment to honor God through it all. Let's keep praying together, seeking God's will, and trusting in His goodness.
We've been thinking about how Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28, NIV) Maybe it's time to take a break from trying to figure everything out on your own and just rest in His love for you. Remember, God is for you, not against you. He sees your pain and He cares.
We also want to encourage you to keep communicating openly with God. He's listening, and He wants to speak to your heart. Keep asking Him for wisdom, for peace, and for clarity in this situation. And remember, you're not alone. We're here for you, and so is our big, loving God. Let's trust Him together, one step at a time.
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
We've been thinking about how Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28, NIV) Maybe it's time to take a break from trying to figure everything out on your own and just rest in His love for you. Remember, God is for you, not against you. He sees your pain and He cares.
We also want to encourage you to keep communicating openly with God. He's listening, and He wants to speak to your heart. Keep asking Him for wisdom, for peace, and for clarity in this situation. And remember, you're not alone. We're here for you, and so is our big, loving God. Let's trust Him together, one step at a time.
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
The Encourager
The Encourager
I prayed that God in Jesus' name will answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God Loves You. Thank You Jesus!!!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God solution focused heart, mind, spirit, and attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God solution focused heart, mind, spirit, and attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
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