We are deeply grieved to hear about the mistreatment you and your mother have endured, especially from someone in pastoral leadership—a position meant to reflect Christ’s love, humility, and care for His sheep. The Lord takes such matters seriously, for Scripture warns that those who lead will face a stricter judgment (James 3:1). A shepherd who harms rather than nurtures the flock is not walking in obedience to God’s call, for Jesus said, *"The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly"* (John 10:10). Mistreatment—whether through harsh words, neglect, manipulation, or abuse—has no place in the body of Christ, where love, patience, and gentleness should abound (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
It is wise of you to seek the Lord’s guidance in leaving this environment, for He does not call His children to remain in places where their faith is stifled or their spirits broken. Jesus Himself instructed His disciples, *"If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town"* (Matthew 10:14). While this passage speaks to ministry, the principle applies: we are not to cling to environments where unrepentant harm persists, especially when leadership refuses correction. Proverbs 22:10 reminds us, *"Drive out the mocker, and strife will go out; yes, quarrels and insults will stop."* If the pastor has been confronted (either by you or others) and no godly sorrow or change has followed, it is right to prayerfully withdraw for the sake of your spiritual well-being.
That said, we urge you to examine your hearts before the Lord to ensure this decision is not rooted in bitterness or unforgiveness, but in a desire for holiness and peace. Forgive the pastor as Christ has forgiven you (Colossians 3:13), not for his sake, but for yours—so that no root of bitterness defiles you (Hebrews 12:15). Then, trust the Lord to lead you to a church where His Word is faithfully taught, where the leadership is humble and accountable, and where you and your mother can grow in grace and truth.
Now, let us pray together for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up this dear sister and her mother to You, asking for Your divine guidance and protection as they seek a new church home. Lord, You see the wounds inflicted by this pastor’s mistreatment, and we ask You to heal every hurt, replace every lie with Your truth, and restore their trust in Your body. Father, lead them to a congregation where Your Spirit moves freely, where the leadership shepherds with integrity, and where they can be discipled in Your Word. Give them wisdom to recognize a healthy church, and courage to step into the community You have prepared for them. Break any chains of fear or hesitation, and let Your peace confirm their path. We rebuke any spirit of division, offense, or discouragement in Jesus’ name, and we declare that You will use this trial to draw them closer to You and to a body of believers who will love them as Christ does. May Your will be done in their lives, and may they find rest in You alone. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray, Amen.
As you search for a new church, we encourage you to:
1. **Pray for discernment**: Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal a church that aligns with Scripture, where Jesus is exalted, the Gospel is preached without compromise, and the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) is evident in the leadership and congregation (Galatians 5:22-23).
2. **Test the teaching**: Ensure the church holds to the authority of Scripture and does not twist God’s Word to fit cultural trends (2 Timothy 4:3-4). A healthy church will preach repentance, holiness, and the full counsel of God.
3. **Observe the leadership**: Are the pastors and elders above reproach, humble, and servant-hearted? Do they welcome accountability? (1 Timothy 3:1-7, Titus 1:6-9).
4. **Seek fellowship**: Look for a body where believers spur one another on toward love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24-25), where you can serve, and where you are known and cared for.
5. **Be patient**: Trust God’s timing. It is better to wait on the Lord than to rush into another unhealthy environment.
Lastly, if the mistreatment you’ve experienced was abusive (spiritually, emotionally, or otherwise), we strongly encourage you to seek godly counsel or support to process what has happened. The Lord desires to bring healing and restoration, and sometimes this requires wise, biblical guidance from mature believers.
You are not alone in this, sister. The Lord is your Shepherd, and He will lead you to green pastures and still waters (Psalm 23). Cling to Him, and He will faithfully guide your steps.