Silas
Beloved of All
Your burden for this situation is clear and your desire to see God bring true repentance is right and biblical. Thank you for sharing it so honestly and for wanting to handle it in a way that honors Scripture.
God desires repentance and His kindness is meant to lead us there, as Romans 2:4 teaches, and He is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. At the same time Scripture is clear that there is wrath for those who continue in evil, and that grace is never to be used as permission for immorality. Jude warns against turning grace into license, and Jesus calls for fruit in keeping with repentance, a life that proves a change of heart by its deeds.
That change is at the heart of what repentance means. There is a sorrow that is merely worldly, being sorry about consequences or being caught, which brings death. There is a godly sorrow that works a real change of mind and direction. True repentance always shows itself in a new walk, turning from sin and pursuing righteousness, faith, love and peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. It is more than being hinted at or feeling regret. It confesses sin plainly, as with adultery and lust of the heart, and it bears fruit.
For that reason your prayer for a hedge of thorns from Hosea 2 is biblical. You are asking God in His mercy to block paths that lead further into sin, so that like the prodigal in Luke 15 she comes to her senses, sees her sin against God and others, humbles herself, and returns. That is also why you are praying for the convicting work of the Holy Spirit promised in John 16 and for clarity and wisdom from James 1 and Colossians 1, that she and all involved may be filled with knowledge of His will and walk worthy of Him, choosing what is excellent and blameless.
Scripture gives a pattern for how that help should come. In Matthew 18 Jesus lays out going first privately, then with one or two witnesses, then telling it to the church. This is not to shame but to restore. The early church was taught to purge out leaven because a little leaven spreads through the whole lump. The motive was not harshness but love for the person and purity for the whole body, so that the church could walk in the power seen in Acts. That book, not the failures of later church history, is the model God holds out for His people. History shows many periods where compromise and hypocrisy weakened the witness of the church, and to five of the seven churches in Revelation the Lord calls for repentance. He does so because He loves His church and wants it holy and effective. When the church is cleansed, it knows His power. When sin is tolerated, its witness is dulled.
That is why it is right to ask mature spiritual leaders to be involved, men who oversee the care of the church and who will handle the Word of God faithfully, like a sword that discerns the heart. Such work must be done gently and firmly at the same time, with an eye on ourselves lest we also be tempted, as Galatians 6 says. It should be done not negligently but with love, reverence for God and His covenant, and zeal to finish what is begun, so that the person is not driven away but is lovingly urged to flee youthful lusts and to avoid those who have a form of godliness but deny its power.
Your prayers for protection are also needed, that you, she, and your family would be delivered from temptation and from the evil one, kept from deception and lies, and kept from evil men and impostors who lead others astray. Jesus taught us to pray to be delivered from evil, and He prayed that His own would be kept from the evil one while still in the world. Pray too for inner healing and restoration as in Psalm 23, where the Shepherd restores the soul and leads in paths of righteousness, and for wisdom to meet pressing needs and fulfill daily duties with strength.
You also show wise discernment in what you desire for the future. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and sexual union belongs only within it. To be unequally yoked is forbidden, and two cannot walk together unless they are agreed. Reconciliation is only right if God makes a person new and holy, born again, and walking in the same calling and vision before the Lord. If God does that cleansing work, we do not call unclean what He has made clean. Until there is clear evidence of new life and true repentance, the loving course is to wait, to continue in kindness, and to trust Philippians 1:6 that He who began a good work will complete it in His way and time. As you said, who knows what God will do, and we can thank Him in advance while still asking Him to warn, to teach the fear of the Lord which is the beginning of wisdom and the hatred of evil, and to make His Word tremble in hearts so that the fear of man, which is a snare, is broken.
None of us stands in our own strength. We were all offered forgiveness as sinners, and to whom much is given much is required. We stand only by grace, and God alone is able to keep us from stumbling and to make us stand. So we must take heed lest we fall and continue in His kindness, looking to Christ who is our wisdom, righteousness and holiness.
I will join you in prayer for these things: that God will send faithful messengers who speak the truth in love, that He will grant conviction of sin and godly sorrow that leads to a complete turn, that He will hedge the way away from further sin including online pursuits, that He will grant ever increasing clarity and spiritual understanding, that He will bring healing to wounded hearts, that He will deliver all of you from temptation, deception and evil, that He will give you grace to fast and pray and to do the duties before you, and that He will be gracious to bring about a hope and a future according to His will. May He do it gently but firmly, for the danger of sin is great, and may it lead to life and to bearing fruit that remains, to the glory of God.
Father, in the name of Jesus, we ask for Your convicting and healing work in this woman and in her family and church. Bring godly sorrow that works repentance unto life. Block every path that leads to sin and make the way of escape clear. Grant wisdom and discernment to all who speak, that they may restore with gentleness and truth. Guard each heart from temptation and the evil one, restore souls, and fill all involved with knowledge of Your will so that You are honored in every relationship and decision. We trust Your patience, Your power to keep us, and Your promise to complete what You have begun. Amen.
God desires repentance and His kindness is meant to lead us there, as Romans 2:4 teaches, and He is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. At the same time Scripture is clear that there is wrath for those who continue in evil, and that grace is never to be used as permission for immorality. Jude warns against turning grace into license, and Jesus calls for fruit in keeping with repentance, a life that proves a change of heart by its deeds.
That change is at the heart of what repentance means. There is a sorrow that is merely worldly, being sorry about consequences or being caught, which brings death. There is a godly sorrow that works a real change of mind and direction. True repentance always shows itself in a new walk, turning from sin and pursuing righteousness, faith, love and peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. It is more than being hinted at or feeling regret. It confesses sin plainly, as with adultery and lust of the heart, and it bears fruit.
For that reason your prayer for a hedge of thorns from Hosea 2 is biblical. You are asking God in His mercy to block paths that lead further into sin, so that like the prodigal in Luke 15 she comes to her senses, sees her sin against God and others, humbles herself, and returns. That is also why you are praying for the convicting work of the Holy Spirit promised in John 16 and for clarity and wisdom from James 1 and Colossians 1, that she and all involved may be filled with knowledge of His will and walk worthy of Him, choosing what is excellent and blameless.
Scripture gives a pattern for how that help should come. In Matthew 18 Jesus lays out going first privately, then with one or two witnesses, then telling it to the church. This is not to shame but to restore. The early church was taught to purge out leaven because a little leaven spreads through the whole lump. The motive was not harshness but love for the person and purity for the whole body, so that the church could walk in the power seen in Acts. That book, not the failures of later church history, is the model God holds out for His people. History shows many periods where compromise and hypocrisy weakened the witness of the church, and to five of the seven churches in Revelation the Lord calls for repentance. He does so because He loves His church and wants it holy and effective. When the church is cleansed, it knows His power. When sin is tolerated, its witness is dulled.
That is why it is right to ask mature spiritual leaders to be involved, men who oversee the care of the church and who will handle the Word of God faithfully, like a sword that discerns the heart. Such work must be done gently and firmly at the same time, with an eye on ourselves lest we also be tempted, as Galatians 6 says. It should be done not negligently but with love, reverence for God and His covenant, and zeal to finish what is begun, so that the person is not driven away but is lovingly urged to flee youthful lusts and to avoid those who have a form of godliness but deny its power.
Your prayers for protection are also needed, that you, she, and your family would be delivered from temptation and from the evil one, kept from deception and lies, and kept from evil men and impostors who lead others astray. Jesus taught us to pray to be delivered from evil, and He prayed that His own would be kept from the evil one while still in the world. Pray too for inner healing and restoration as in Psalm 23, where the Shepherd restores the soul and leads in paths of righteousness, and for wisdom to meet pressing needs and fulfill daily duties with strength.
You also show wise discernment in what you desire for the future. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and sexual union belongs only within it. To be unequally yoked is forbidden, and two cannot walk together unless they are agreed. Reconciliation is only right if God makes a person new and holy, born again, and walking in the same calling and vision before the Lord. If God does that cleansing work, we do not call unclean what He has made clean. Until there is clear evidence of new life and true repentance, the loving course is to wait, to continue in kindness, and to trust Philippians 1:6 that He who began a good work will complete it in His way and time. As you said, who knows what God will do, and we can thank Him in advance while still asking Him to warn, to teach the fear of the Lord which is the beginning of wisdom and the hatred of evil, and to make His Word tremble in hearts so that the fear of man, which is a snare, is broken.
None of us stands in our own strength. We were all offered forgiveness as sinners, and to whom much is given much is required. We stand only by grace, and God alone is able to keep us from stumbling and to make us stand. So we must take heed lest we fall and continue in His kindness, looking to Christ who is our wisdom, righteousness and holiness.
I will join you in prayer for these things: that God will send faithful messengers who speak the truth in love, that He will grant conviction of sin and godly sorrow that leads to a complete turn, that He will hedge the way away from further sin including online pursuits, that He will grant ever increasing clarity and spiritual understanding, that He will bring healing to wounded hearts, that He will deliver all of you from temptation, deception and evil, that He will give you grace to fast and pray and to do the duties before you, and that He will be gracious to bring about a hope and a future according to His will. May He do it gently but firmly, for the danger of sin is great, and may it lead to life and to bearing fruit that remains, to the glory of God.
Father, in the name of Jesus, we ask for Your convicting and healing work in this woman and in her family and church. Bring godly sorrow that works repentance unto life. Block every path that leads to sin and make the way of escape clear. Grant wisdom and discernment to all who speak, that they may restore with gentleness and truth. Guard each heart from temptation and the evil one, restore souls, and fill all involved with knowledge of Your will so that You are honored in every relationship and decision. We trust Your patience, Your power to keep us, and Your promise to complete what You have begun. Amen.
