Silas
Beloved of All
Your prayer reflects a deep burden and a long persistence in seeking God for this woman, for your family, and for yourself, and that perseverance in prayer is right. God is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance, and His kindness is meant to lead us to repentance. At the same time Scripture is clear that there is wrath and distress for every soul that continues in evil, and that God is not mocked, whatever a person sows that will also be reaped.
A central part of what you are asking is for true repentance, and it is important to distinguish this from mere sorrow. There is a sorrow that is of the world which brings death, and there is a godly sorrow which works repentance. Many people are sorry when they are caught or when they face consequences, but they are not changed. True repentance always signifies a change. It bears fruit in keeping with repentance, it turns from sin and returns to God for refreshing and salvation, it admits sin against God and against others with humility, and it is willing to take a low place rather than defend itself. That is the repentance that leads to life, and it is what you are right to pray for, that she would be granted repentance and escape the snare of the devil where she has been held captive to do his will.
You have asked for a hedge of thorns as in Hosea, that her way would be blocked so she cannot overtake those she pursues, and for clarity and for deliverance from online pursuits and from adultery. It is right to pray this way, not to ask God to bless what He calls sin, but to ask Him to frustrate sin and to convict through His Spirit. Jesus said the Spirit would convict the world of sin, and God often uses His Word as a sword to divide and reveal the heart. Praying that she would not be able to find satisfaction in lust of the eyes and lust of the heart, which Jesus equates with adultery in the heart, and that she would be brought to open confession rather than hints, is praying in line with the command not to commit adultery and the call to walk in purity. God does not bless sexual intimacy or living together outside the lifelong covenant of one man and one woman in marriage, and we cannot ask Him to.
You have also asked for the church and family to intervene according to Matthew 18. That pattern is given for this very reason. First one or two go, then if there is no hearing, it is told to the church, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. This is not to be done with negligence or with harshness, but gently and firmly, with reverence for God and for His covenant, and with an eye on ourselves lest we also be tempted. The goal is not to drive a person away from gathering with believers, but to restore, that she would flee youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart, and that others also might have a healthy fear of sinning. When sin is allowed to remain and leaven is not purged, the whole fellowship is affected and power is hindered. Much of the weakness that has marked church history is not because God withdrew His power, but because hypocrisy was tolerated. The true model is not found in the shameful parts of church history, where corruption entered very early, but in the Scriptures and in the pattern of the early church in Acts, where there was a call to repentance for those who needed it and a commendation for keeping His Word where it was kept. For that reason it is wise to ask mature, spiritual oversight to be involved, men who will fear God more than man, for the fear of man is a snare, while the fear of the Lord is to hate evil and is the beginning of wisdom.
You mentioned promises about supporting a calling to evangelism and missions, and the need to walk in agreement. Scripture says two cannot walk together unless they are agreed, and it forbids being unequally yoked. We should not call clean what God has not made clean, but when God does make a person holy and gives a new heart, we are not to call that person unclean. His Word is clear that if anyone is truly born again, there will be a new direction. It is also right to pray as you have that if there is any future together, it would only be on the ground of genuine new life and holiness, not on sentiment or on a promise made while walking away from counsel.
You are also praying for knowledge of God, for wisdom, for inner healing and for strength to do what is required each day. That is needed for you as well as for her and for the child involved. The wounds of sin are like bruises and sores that need healing, and the Lord is the shepherd who restores the soul and makes us lie down in safety. Pray for wisdom liberally as James invites, that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, to walk worthy of the Lord, and that love may abound with knowledge and discernment to choose what is excellent and be blameless until the day of Christ. Continue to ask for protection from temptation, from lies, from evil persons and imposters, and from the evil one himself, as Jesus taught us to pray, lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil, and as He prayed that His own would be kept from the evil one though still in the world.
Guard your own heart in this season as well. You have rightly noted that we only stand by grace, and that we must take heed lest we fall. God is able to keep us from stumbling and to make us stand, and we remain in His kindness as we continue in it. Do not use the grace of God as license for immorality, and do not allow others to do so while claiming to know Christ and denying Him by their deeds. Bear in mind that the grace that saves also teaches us to deny ungodliness.
For the family members and others you mentioned, including the situation with immodest display involving a young person, it is right to speak the truth in love and to call for the fear of God which hates evil. Children and youth need protection and a pure example, not to be put forward in sensual ways.
Keep praying and not losing heart, thankful in advance that God hears, yet submitting all to His will. Ask Him to raise up faithful messengers who will bring the Word with love and truth, to give you grace for fasting and for pressing duties, and to bring about His hope and future in His way and time. Above all, pray that whatever God does would lead to genuine salvation through Jesus Christ alone, to a hatred of sin, to a love for righteousness, and to a life that bears fruit to His glory.
A central part of what you are asking is for true repentance, and it is important to distinguish this from mere sorrow. There is a sorrow that is of the world which brings death, and there is a godly sorrow which works repentance. Many people are sorry when they are caught or when they face consequences, but they are not changed. True repentance always signifies a change. It bears fruit in keeping with repentance, it turns from sin and returns to God for refreshing and salvation, it admits sin against God and against others with humility, and it is willing to take a low place rather than defend itself. That is the repentance that leads to life, and it is what you are right to pray for, that she would be granted repentance and escape the snare of the devil where she has been held captive to do his will.
You have asked for a hedge of thorns as in Hosea, that her way would be blocked so she cannot overtake those she pursues, and for clarity and for deliverance from online pursuits and from adultery. It is right to pray this way, not to ask God to bless what He calls sin, but to ask Him to frustrate sin and to convict through His Spirit. Jesus said the Spirit would convict the world of sin, and God often uses His Word as a sword to divide and reveal the heart. Praying that she would not be able to find satisfaction in lust of the eyes and lust of the heart, which Jesus equates with adultery in the heart, and that she would be brought to open confession rather than hints, is praying in line with the command not to commit adultery and the call to walk in purity. God does not bless sexual intimacy or living together outside the lifelong covenant of one man and one woman in marriage, and we cannot ask Him to.
You have also asked for the church and family to intervene according to Matthew 18. That pattern is given for this very reason. First one or two go, then if there is no hearing, it is told to the church, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. This is not to be done with negligence or with harshness, but gently and firmly, with reverence for God and for His covenant, and with an eye on ourselves lest we also be tempted. The goal is not to drive a person away from gathering with believers, but to restore, that she would flee youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart, and that others also might have a healthy fear of sinning. When sin is allowed to remain and leaven is not purged, the whole fellowship is affected and power is hindered. Much of the weakness that has marked church history is not because God withdrew His power, but because hypocrisy was tolerated. The true model is not found in the shameful parts of church history, where corruption entered very early, but in the Scriptures and in the pattern of the early church in Acts, where there was a call to repentance for those who needed it and a commendation for keeping His Word where it was kept. For that reason it is wise to ask mature, spiritual oversight to be involved, men who will fear God more than man, for the fear of man is a snare, while the fear of the Lord is to hate evil and is the beginning of wisdom.
You mentioned promises about supporting a calling to evangelism and missions, and the need to walk in agreement. Scripture says two cannot walk together unless they are agreed, and it forbids being unequally yoked. We should not call clean what God has not made clean, but when God does make a person holy and gives a new heart, we are not to call that person unclean. His Word is clear that if anyone is truly born again, there will be a new direction. It is also right to pray as you have that if there is any future together, it would only be on the ground of genuine new life and holiness, not on sentiment or on a promise made while walking away from counsel.
You are also praying for knowledge of God, for wisdom, for inner healing and for strength to do what is required each day. That is needed for you as well as for her and for the child involved. The wounds of sin are like bruises and sores that need healing, and the Lord is the shepherd who restores the soul and makes us lie down in safety. Pray for wisdom liberally as James invites, that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, to walk worthy of the Lord, and that love may abound with knowledge and discernment to choose what is excellent and be blameless until the day of Christ. Continue to ask for protection from temptation, from lies, from evil persons and imposters, and from the evil one himself, as Jesus taught us to pray, lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil, and as He prayed that His own would be kept from the evil one though still in the world.
Guard your own heart in this season as well. You have rightly noted that we only stand by grace, and that we must take heed lest we fall. God is able to keep us from stumbling and to make us stand, and we remain in His kindness as we continue in it. Do not use the grace of God as license for immorality, and do not allow others to do so while claiming to know Christ and denying Him by their deeds. Bear in mind that the grace that saves also teaches us to deny ungodliness.
For the family members and others you mentioned, including the situation with immodest display involving a young person, it is right to speak the truth in love and to call for the fear of God which hates evil. Children and youth need protection and a pure example, not to be put forward in sensual ways.
Keep praying and not losing heart, thankful in advance that God hears, yet submitting all to His will. Ask Him to raise up faithful messengers who will bring the Word with love and truth, to give you grace for fasting and for pressing duties, and to bring about His hope and future in His way and time. Above all, pray that whatever God does would lead to genuine salvation through Jesus Christ alone, to a hatred of sin, to a love for righteousness, and to a life that bears fruit to His glory.
