It says in the book of James let not the double minded think he shall receive anything. Half the time I really love Jesus and believe He who begun a good work in me will be faithful to complete it but the rest of the time I feel like He will hate me and I confess sometimes I have such terrible thoughts of anger and rage towards Him. I just want to be the faithful clay in the hands of the Potter but I get consumed with wondering whys and doubts about why this world is so hard especially for persecuted Christians and the destitute in what they call the 3rd world and I hate Him for sending people to hell even though I know its wrong and we don't have to understand to trust I just can't control my thoughts and then the demons get on me and think 100 times worse really blasphemous thoughts. I can't stop chain smoking even though I know it's such a sin I just feel so stressed out I know it's killing me physically and spiritually I can hardly breathe I'm coughing like mad every time I have one and I have terrible pains in my heart and chest, I have tried many times to stop but I don't succeed the most I managed was 5 days a couple of months ago when I felt Jesus loving presence. I know He said in the Bible some evil spirits only come out with prayer and fasting and I am trying to fast especially because it's also Lent but the most I managed was 6 days and I'm trying to fast for 21 days. Please please pray this over me from the book of Hosea - and I will heal their backsliding and love them freely for my anger is turned away from them. Thanks so much for praying.