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Guest(Toni)
Guest
First and foremost Im not on a pity trip!!! I do not understand alot of things in my life. I went thru a divorce after 20 years of marriage not by my choice. Totally devasted me. I leaned on God and kept leaning until recently. It just seems no matter how much alittle or a lot I lean on God and look to him for comfort and answers I seem to be on a downhill slope loosing everyhting and fighting for everything I do have to include my sanity.
I have not jumped into another relationship because I feel God will send the right person my way. I honestly thought I had met him but then 2 days after Christmas he tells me to leave. Being as I gave up my home and everything to be with him I ended up in a homeless shelter. I do have to say it was the BEST Christmas I have ever experienced to include my childhood.
I prayed and prayed that God would show me what to do after the divorce I went to truck driving school got my cdl's and drove for 3months til I threw a blood clot in my leg. I miss driving truck and now the doctor has released me to go back out no one will hire me.
I get a job at a resturant but cant make enough to keep my rent paid so now Im in a factory making air filters for furnances and absolutely hate the job. I daydream about being back on the road.
Im so tired of walking and trudging alone this road called life. I ask beg God for a a friend and someone to lean on this earth no one. I want so much to be loved and accepted by God but feel Im his whipping post. Im tired and dont ever seem to be any rest.
I just dont understand why God is ignoring me and in the times of trouble wont answer me.
What have I done so wrong to not be loved and cared about by God???? I just dont get it.
God please help me let me see you are there and you do care about me and all the things going wrong in my life. And God please I beg of you to be with Joe and open his eyes and heart to you.
Toni
I have not jumped into another relationship because I feel God will send the right person my way. I honestly thought I had met him but then 2 days after Christmas he tells me to leave. Being as I gave up my home and everything to be with him I ended up in a homeless shelter. I do have to say it was the BEST Christmas I have ever experienced to include my childhood.
I prayed and prayed that God would show me what to do after the divorce I went to truck driving school got my cdl's and drove for 3months til I threw a blood clot in my leg. I miss driving truck and now the doctor has released me to go back out no one will hire me.
I get a job at a resturant but cant make enough to keep my rent paid so now Im in a factory making air filters for furnances and absolutely hate the job. I daydream about being back on the road.
Im so tired of walking and trudging alone this road called life. I ask beg God for a a friend and someone to lean on this earth no one. I want so much to be loved and accepted by God but feel Im his whipping post. Im tired and dont ever seem to be any rest.
I just dont understand why God is ignoring me and in the times of trouble wont answer me.
What have I done so wrong to not be loved and cared about by God???? I just dont get it.
God please help me let me see you are there and you do care about me and all the things going wrong in my life. And God please I beg of you to be with Joe and open his eyes and heart to you.
Toni
