Valuespalsor

Disciple of Prayer
What are you supposed to do when God only wants you to be a live in caretaker to your grandma as a grown woman in her early ###s ? When she dies your life can happen and you be like a normal and have a normal adult life of employment, marriage, friends, inlaws and using your skills and talents. That you need to wait a decade or more till this happens possibly? You didn't think this is what God wanted for you in early adulthood.
 

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We hear the heaviness and disappointment in your heart and we want to lift you up before the Lord together with you. It is understandable to feel as though your life is on pause when you are called to care for your grandmother in your early twenties, a season when many of your peers are pursuing employment, marriage, friendships and using their gifts in the world. We want to gently remind you that God does not waste any season and that this time of caregiving, though difficult and long, is not forgotten by Him.

The Word tells us to honor our elders and to care for our own family. Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which Yahweh your God gives you Exodus 20:12 and again Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right Ephesians 6:1. Also If anyone doesn’t provide for his own, and especially his own household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever 1 Timothy 5:8. Your willingness to be a live in caretaker is a beautiful act of honor and love that pleases God, and He sees every sacrifice you make in private.

At the same time, we want to encourage you that God’s calling for you is not to put your entire life on hold in isolation for a decade or to live without purpose until your grandmother passes. For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven Ecclesiastes 3:1. The Lord has plans for you even within this season. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future Jeremiah 29:11. He wants you to seek Him first, and He will add what you need in His timing. But seek first God’s Kingdom, and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well Matthew 6:33.

We want to lovingly correct the thought that God only wants you to exist as a caretaker and that employment, godly marriage, Christian fellowship and using your talents must wait completely. God gave you skills and spiritual gifts to be stewarded now, not only later. As each has received a gift, employ it in serving one another, as good managers of the grace of God in its various forms 1 Peter 4:10. And Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men Colossians 3:23. Even within caregiving, there may be ways to use your talents, to serve the body of Christ, to maintain fellowship, and to prepare for the future God has for you. This does not mean neglecting your grandmother, but it does mean seeking wisdom and help so that you are not carrying this burden alone. Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6.

We encourage you to bring this burden to your church family and pastor, to family members, and to godly counselors who can help you discern practical supports such as respite care, shared family responsibility, or work and ministry opportunities that can coexist with caregiving. If God wills marriage for you, we believe marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman that honors Him, and we pray for a godly husband if that is His will, not simply a partner, but a Christian believer who would understand and honor your commitment to family. Courtship should always be with the goal of a Christ centered marriage. Do not let the enemy convince you that you must be isolated from friendships and community. The church is meant to be your family and support now.

We also notice your request does not mention Jesus Christ, and we want to gently share that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and can know His will with confidence. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your trust in Jesus, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, and to walk with Him daily in prayer and in His Word. He understands weariness and He invites you to find rest in Him.

We pray together for you now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ and we lift up this dear daughter to You. You see her heart, her youth, her love for her grandmother, and her longing for a normal adult life of meaningful work, godly marriage, friendships and using the gifts You have placed within her. Lord, we ask You to comfort her where she feels disappointed and overlooked, and to renew her strength so she will not grow weary in doing good, for in due season she will reap if she does not give up Galatians 6:9. Help her to know that You are working all things together for good for those who love You Romans 8:28. Give her wisdom to honor her grandmother with love while also stewarding her own life and calling in a way that honors You. Provide for her practical help, Godly community, opportunities to develop her skills, and if it is Your will, a godly husband and future family that will be built on Your foundation. Teach her to delight herself in You and to trust You with the desires of her heart Psalm 37:4. Let her feel Your presence daily and lead her step by step, not in bitterness or resentment but in peace. In Jesus name we pray, amen.
 
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

🙏Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
 
We hear the heaviness and disappointment in your heart and we want to lift you up before the Lord together with you. It is understandable to feel as though your life is on pause when you are called to care for your grandmother in your early twenties, a season when many of your peers are pursuing employment, marriage, friendships and using their gifts in the world. We want to gently remind you that God does not waste any season and that this time of caregiving, though difficult and long, is not forgotten by Him.

The Word tells us to honor our elders and to care for our own family. Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which Yahweh your God gives you Exodus 20:12 and again Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right Ephesians 6:1. Also If anyone doesn’t provide for his own, and especially his own household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever 1 Timothy 5:8. Your willingness to be a live in caretaker is a beautiful act of honor and love that pleases God, and He sees every sacrifice you make in private.

At the same time, we want to encourage you that God’s calling for you is not to put your entire life on hold in isolation for a decade or to live without purpose until your grandmother passes. For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven Ecclesiastes 3:1. The Lord has plans for you even within this season. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future Jeremiah 29:11. He wants you to seek Him first, and He will add what you need in His timing. But seek first God’s Kingdom, and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well Matthew 6:33.

We want to lovingly correct the thought that God only wants you to exist as a caretaker and that employment, godly marriage, Christian fellowship and using your talents must wait completely. God gave you skills and spiritual gifts to be stewarded now, not only later. As each has received a gift, employ it in serving one another, as good managers of the grace of God in its various forms 1 Peter 4:10. And Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men Colossians 3:23. Even within caregiving, there may be ways to use your talents, to serve the body of Christ, to maintain fellowship, and to prepare for the future God has for you. This does not mean neglecting your grandmother, but it does mean seeking wisdom and help so that you are not carrying this burden alone. Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6.

We encourage you to bring this burden to your church family and pastor, to family members, and to godly counselors who can help you discern practical supports such as respite care, shared family responsibility, or work and ministry opportunities that can coexist with caregiving. If God wills marriage for you, we believe marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman that honors Him, and we pray for a godly husband if that is His will, not simply a partner, but a Christian believer who would understand and honor your commitment to family. Courtship should always be with the goal of a Christ centered marriage. Do not let the enemy convince you that you must be isolated from friendships and community. The church is meant to be your family and support now.

We also notice your request does not mention Jesus Christ, and we want to gently share that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and can know His will with confidence. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your trust in Jesus, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, and to walk with Him daily in prayer and in His Word. He understands weariness and He invites you to find rest in Him.

We pray together for you now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ and we lift up this dear daughter to You. You see her heart, her youth, her love for her grandmother, and her longing for a normal adult life of meaningful work, godly marriage, friendships and using the gifts You have placed within her. Lord, we ask You to comfort her where she feels disappointed and overlooked, and to renew her strength so she will not grow weary in doing good, for in due season she will reap if she does not give up Galatians 6:9. Help her to know that You are working all things together for good for those who love You Romans 8:28. Give her wisdom to honor her grandmother with love while also stewarding her own life and calling in a way that honors You. Provide for her practical help, Godly community, opportunities to develop her skills, and if it is Your will, a godly husband and future family that will be built on Your foundation. Teach her to delight herself in You and to trust You with the desires of her heart Psalm 37:4. Let her feel Your presence daily and lead her step by step, not in bitterness or resentment but in peace. In Jesus name we pray, amen.

I'm in my early thirties
 
We hear the ache in your question. You love your grandma and want to honor her, and at the same time you are grieving the life you thought your early thirties would hold, work you enjoy, marriage, friendships, using the gifts God gave you. Feeling torn and even weary in that place makes sense. It does not mean you are ungrateful or failing.

One thing we have seen help others in a long caregiving season is to gently separate the calling to care from the idea that everything else must be put on hold for ten years. Caring well often requires wisdom and shared support, not carrying it alone. Your gifts and desire for community are part of how God made you, not distractions from faithfulness.

If it would help, consider one small, honest conversation this week with a pastor, trusted family member, or counselor who knows your situation. Talk together about what sustainable care for your grandma could look like, what respite or community resources might exist, and whether there is one modest step you could take toward work, friendship, or using a skill, even a few hours a week, without abandoning your commitment.

We are praying for you.

Father, we lift this daughter to You in Jesus' name. You see her love, her sacrifice, and the longing in her heart. Give her wisdom for each next decision, strength for each day, and people around her to share the load. Guide her steps and remind her she is not forgotten or alone. Amen.
 
There is a sorrow and a weight in your words which many of the Lord's people have known, that sense that life is put upon a shelf while duty holds you in one place. To feel that your early adulthood has not taken the shape you had imagined, and to wonder whether the years ahead must be only waiting, is a trial that touches the heart very deeply, and the Lord sees it.

Be assured that nothing in your life is outside the purpose of Him who is of one mind, and who can turn Him. What His soul desireth, that He doeth. There is to everything a season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens, and though things may seem to move as chance, there is a fixedness in that which seems most fickle. The Lord has not forgotten you in this room where you watch and serve. Providence is the handmaid of grace, and the wheels of Providence are working to assist the soul that waits upon God, even when we cannot yet see how.

You ask concerning calling. The Scripture speaks of our calling as a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began. It is a high calling, a calling from on high that lifts up the heart and sets it upon heavenly things, and it is a heavenly calling, a call from heaven as well as to heaven. You may know it by this, that you can trace in it the hand of God and the voice of God, not merely the pressure of circumstances or the expectations of men. If man alone call thee, thou art uncalled.

To care for the aged, to honor a grandmother in her need, is not a lesser calling or an interruption of your true life. It is itself a holy service, and the Lord who said, Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest, knows what it is to labour under a burden that others do not see. He calls His sheep by name, as a father and mother call a child, with a familiar and personal voice, and when He calls effectually the sheep hear His voice and follow. If He has placed you here, He has not done so to waste your life, but to form it.

Waiting upon God is not idle standing still. Scripture gives us pictures of it. It is as a servant waits upon his lord, anxious to know what his master wishes him to do and happy to carry it through when once he knows it. It is as a traveler waits upon his guide, or a mariner waits upon the pilot who takes charge of his ship. We are to wait upon God for direction in the entire voyage of life, for He is at the helm and His hand is to steer our course. And waiting upon the Lord is the way to renew strength until we mount up with wings as eagles.

That waiting does three things within the soul. It brings a mysterious strength through the incoming of the Eternal Spirit. It makes the world grow small and dwarfs its affairs till we see their real littleness, so that what once seemed overwhelming becomes bearable. And it breeds peace within, so that when a man is at rest within, he cares little for trials or foes. Therefore the word is, Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

Do not think that your life can only happen after this season ends, or that your skills and talents must lie buried for a decade. Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, we press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus even in the present place. The Lord would have you seek Him now concerning how your gifts may be used within this calling, whether in the home, in the church, in such employment as can be faithfully undertaken alongside this duty, in friendship and fellowship with the people of God. A waiting people are not waiting in despair, nor even in hesitation, they are waiting in hope, a joyous and assured hope of blessedness in reserve. The Lord waits that He may be gracious, and blessed are all they that wait for Him.

Take your burden to Him daily and ask for plain direction. Bring it to your pastors and to mature believers who know you and can help you weigh what is sustainable and what provision might be made for your grandmother's care so that you are not alone in it. Honor for parents and grandparents is commanded by God, and it is a beautiful testimony when given in love, yet the Lord also provides His church as a family to bear burdens together. Do not let a senseless hesitancy keep you from asking for that help, and do not let impatience snatch at unripe fruit before the season. Seek to be faithful today, and trust Him for tomorrow.

May the Lord give you grace to see this present path not as a prison but as a field He has assigned you to till for a season, and may He keep your heart lifted to heavenly things while your hands are busy in earthly service. May He strengthen you as you wait upon Him, and guide your steps in His perfect time concerning work, marriage, and all the good gifts He withholds from none that walk uprightly.

We pray that He who knows His Father's eternal purpose and yet says Come unto Me will speak very plainly to your heart, call you by name, and give you rest even as you labour, and that you may know more and more that your calling, wherever He places you, is holy and high and from heaven itself.
 
Your question comes from a place of deep faithfulness and honest struggle, and it is good that you have brought it before the Lord and before His people.

It is understandable to feel that life is on hold while you serve as a live in caretaker for your grandmother in your early adult years. You had hopes for employment, marriage, friendships, and using the gifts God has given you, and now you wonder if God is asking you to set all of that aside for a decade or more until she no longer needs you. That tension between honoring family and longing for a full adult life is real, and God sees it.

Scripture teaches that caring for family is not a waste of life but a holy part of it. To show piety at home and to repay your parents and grandparents is pleasing to God, and it is part of what it means to present your body as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to Him. That kind of sacrifice is not only what happens on an altar, but the daily offering of time, strength, and love when no one else sees. In that sense, what you are doing now is not outside your calling, it is part of it. A calling is not only a future role, but faithfulness in the place where God has put you today, fulfilling every desire for goodness and every work of faith with the power He supplies, often through patient endurance.

At the same time, a season of caregiving does not mean your life has not yet begun. Your life is happening now, and God does not waste it. The skills and talents He gave you can be used even within limits, perhaps in smaller or different ways than you imagined. Caring for your grandmother itself uses many of those gifts, like mercy, diligence, organization, and hospitality. And there may be ways, with wisdom and help from others, to continue to grow in other areas too, through fellowship in the church, through service, through learning, or through work that fits within your responsibilities.

It is also good and right to desire marriage, meaningful work, and community. Those desires are not selfish. Marriage as God designed it, a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and work done for His glory, are good gifts. Bringing those desires to the Lord in prayer is itself a sacrifice of praise that He receives. You do not need to feel guilty for having them while you serve.

Because this burden is heavy, do not carry it alone. Seek counsel from your pastor and from mature believers who know you and your family. Talk openly with family about how care can be shared, what support is available, and what boundaries will help you serve with love without becoming isolated or exhausted. Stay rooted in the church, in the Word, and in prayer, and allow others to help you bear this load. God often provides for both the one being cared for and the caregiver through the whole Body of Christ.

Try not to measure your life only by whether you have reached certain milestones by a certain age. God works in seasons, and faithfulness in a quiet, hidden season is precious to Him and forms you for whatever He has next. Ask Him not only what you should do in the future, but how you can love Him and love your grandmother well today, while also stewarding your health and your gifts wisely.

We will pray for you, that God would give you strength for each day, wisdom for decisions about care and work and relationships, and peace in knowing that He is with you in this house and in this season. May He fulfill in you every desire for goodness, keep you from growing weary, and show you how to walk worthy of the calling He has given you, both now and in the years to come.
 

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