Isaac3213
Disciple of Prayer
Brothers and sisters,
I haven't been seeing the fruits of the Spirit in my life lately. I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and two months. Over the past month or two, we've been consistently frustrated with each other, talking to each other disrespectfully, not like we love each other. I have especially. It's always for a different reason.. but none of them are justified, because there isn't ever a justified reason to talk to your sister that way.. But sometimes I am shocked at just how badly I suck. I've felt badly for the way I've been acting. I've read my Bible and prayed (although my praying isn't eager and consistent) about my heart, but I haven't been changing. I haven't seen the fruit of the Spirit in my life. My girlfriend is telling me that my sorry doesn't do anything unless I change the way I'm acting. I don't know what to do. I know that without God, there will be no lasting change. But I've been praying and trying to consult Him. I feel like I've been very neglecting of Him.. I feel the worldly sorrow and regret, but see no genuine repentance. I've honestly been wondering how someone can struggle this much and still be a Christian. I want God to consume me. I want to be a godly man. I want to have total assurance of my salvation. I want to understand the Scriptures fully and tell its truths to others. Writing this now, I feel that much of these fears of mine are lies from Satan. But whether or not I'm still feeling the regret or not doesn't really matter.. I need to feel genuine sorrow for my sin and reunion with God. I don't know what to make of my negligence, if this affects God's view of me, how I can struggle this much and be a Christian, how I can be the man God wants me to be after talking to my girlfriend the way that I have. Man.. I know typing this now that Scripture has so much to say about these topics. My fears have faded.. but still, please pray for me that I can fight against Satan's lies with Scripture, find peace with God (really, be assured that I had it all along), and bear good fruit. Thank you.
I haven't been seeing the fruits of the Spirit in my life lately. I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and two months. Over the past month or two, we've been consistently frustrated with each other, talking to each other disrespectfully, not like we love each other. I have especially. It's always for a different reason.. but none of them are justified, because there isn't ever a justified reason to talk to your sister that way.. But sometimes I am shocked at just how badly I suck. I've felt badly for the way I've been acting. I've read my Bible and prayed (although my praying isn't eager and consistent) about my heart, but I haven't been changing. I haven't seen the fruit of the Spirit in my life. My girlfriend is telling me that my sorry doesn't do anything unless I change the way I'm acting. I don't know what to do. I know that without God, there will be no lasting change. But I've been praying and trying to consult Him. I feel like I've been very neglecting of Him.. I feel the worldly sorrow and regret, but see no genuine repentance. I've honestly been wondering how someone can struggle this much and still be a Christian. I want God to consume me. I want to be a godly man. I want to have total assurance of my salvation. I want to understand the Scriptures fully and tell its truths to others. Writing this now, I feel that much of these fears of mine are lies from Satan. But whether or not I'm still feeling the regret or not doesn't really matter.. I need to feel genuine sorrow for my sin and reunion with God. I don't know what to make of my negligence, if this affects God's view of me, how I can struggle this much and be a Christian, how I can be the man God wants me to be after talking to my girlfriend the way that I have. Man.. I know typing this now that Scripture has so much to say about these topics. My fears have faded.. but still, please pray for me that I can fight against Satan's lies with Scripture, find peace with God (really, be assured that I had it all along), and bear good fruit. Thank you.
