Thank you all so very much for your prayers. My faith is lacking. I feel so selfish asking for things for myself in prayer- I've always tried to pray selflessly. Now I don't pray at all.
I feel so angry at God. I feel abandoned. I'm a grateful man and count my many blessings and I've asked little to nothing of God. I've reached out and asked for His help and feel betrayed. My formerly strong faith, my eternal optimism, my trust is so weak if not dead...
I've turned my life around years ago and even changed my thinking. I became what I believe to be a good honorable man and I feel that I've been forsaken.
I don't ask for much- simply to be normal again. I've lost my smile, my humor, and my hope. I feel unable to to trust others so how can I love if I can't open myself up and trust another person?
I feel myself sinking deeper and often awaken myself from crying in my sleep. I fight so hard and I push myself forward each day. It all seems so futile.
i'm angry with God and no longer trust Him.
I'm so empty- i feel as if a a part of my has died or is broken irreparably.
I thank you all for your prayers. I guess I must still have some faith and hope, somehow, becasue here I am asking others to use their faith to help me and my dear lost soul Tammy. I love her so dearly and it literally hurts to watch her sink deeper into mental illness. I feel so powerless. I feel so weak and helpless. I'd give my eyes if it would heal her. I'd carrry her on my back anywhere she needed to go to get help but to her i am now hated and viewed with contempt and hatred.
I'm 47 years old and have survived many trials. I don't believe I can move forward through this and get to a better place. I think to myself "Is THIS what I've worked so hard for for so long?" "Is THIS my life? Is this my "reward" for my selflessness, hard work, and love?
I feel so betrayed and ripped-off.
I haven't given up but I honestly don't know how much longer I can press forward.
Thanks for your prayers and for reading my ramblings.
Peace to all.
