Buerxuordale
Disciple of Prayer
Hello, fellow followers. I first want to apologize for my absence as I have been going through so much internal pain. I am working on myself daily. I am asking each of you to please pray for me, my family and my good friend, ###. My youngest son has become very angry and crass from long ago issues from the past. My only daughter has shut me out of her life and my grandchildren too. My friend ### is in ICU fighting for her life with a stroke and bleeding from her ear. Please in the mighty name of Jesus lift her in your loving and healing hands father and heal her mind, body and soul. To add on to my mental anguish that feels like my mind is splitting. Am I not good enough or embarrassed too much with having 6 grown children that left my stomach with mommy marks? My ex-husband so clearly said to me and putting it in my head daily since an emergency hysterectomy that almost took my life that I won't ever be with another man wanting me because the scar that was left after a botched hysterectomy surgery. 10 years of celibacy because, I believe that one day the lord will place my person in my life who doesn't see my flaws and only my heart. Depression is a real thing I don't ever speak about it but I feel inclined to get it out. I was with my ex-husband married 25 years and 34 together 6 kids later. The saddest thing but the truth, I have never been in love and don't know what it feels like except my children. I believe wholeheartedly that my journey with ex-husband was to bear our children and one day move on. But, I don't believe in cheating when someone puts their body into someone else that's not the person the lord has meant, I can't just turn a blind eye and say it's okay, because it's not. I have not been with another man since my ex-husband. My depression is getting a hold of me. I push it all away and continue to just work and pray. I'm exhausted as I'm sure many of you understand what I am going through because you are too. The struggle is imminent and just wanting to give up but I know my lord is not ready for me yet. I'm here like many of you to make our lives better and walk with the lord and make a meaningful difference. I might sound like I am mumbling but I am asking for continued guidance, strength and wisdom. Thank you so much for praying and listening. I wish each of you the best in your life and journey. One day and step at a time and faith up no matter what walking in faith and not by sight. In the mighty name of Jesus...amen
###
###