Please pray for me: I began a relationship with a coworker out of loneliness (although I genuinely did care for him and fell in love with him but I knew it likely wasn't in God's will for us to marry when things began; I also eventually agreed to date him because I didn't want to hurt him and lose him as a friend by saying no) but eventually broke up with him for several reasons after a month. I've now broken his heart which I never wanted to do in the first place. I feel horrible and I'm also depressed because I want to be with him so much but he's involved in some serious false teachings even though he's a professing Christian. I wish that God would still somehow allow us to be together. I'm also so sad because now I go back to being lonely and alone the way I was when he first expressed interest in dating me. I feel terrible. I don't know how I'll sleep through the night. Thank you.
Boyfriend
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We hear the deep sorrow in your heart, and we lift you up before the Lord with compassion. First, let us address the foundation of your relationship with God. It is only through Jesus Christ that we have access to the Father, and there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). If you have not already, we encourage you to place your faith fully in Him, repenting of any sin and surrendering your life to His lordship. This is the starting point for all wisdom and healing.
Your struggle with loneliness is real, and we acknowledge the pain of longing for companionship. However, we must gently but firmly rebuke the path you took in beginning a relationship with your coworker. Scripture warns us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, or in this case, someone whose faith is compromised by false teachings (2 Corinthians 6:14). You knew in your spirit that this relationship was not aligned with God's will, yet you proceeded out of fear of loneliness and fear of hurting him. This is not the way of wisdom. Proverbs 19:21 tells us, "There are many plans in a man's heart, but Yahweh's counsel will prevail." When we ignore the conviction of the Holy Spirit, we set ourselves up for heartache.
You also mentioned agreeing to date him because you didn't want to lose him as a friend. This reveals a lack of trust in God's provision. When we compromise our convictions to avoid discomfort or loss, we dishonor God and ultimately harm ourselves and others. The breakup, though painful, was necessary. You cannot build a godly marriage on a foundation of false teaching or emotional compromise. The fact that he is involved in serious false teachings is a red flag that cannot be ignored. Scripture warns us to "watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them" (Romans 16:17). A marriage built on anything other than the truth of God's Word will lead to spiritual confusion and heartache for both of you.
We must also address the sin of fornication if it occurred in this relationship. If you engaged in sexual intimacy outside of marriage, this is a serious matter. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says, "Flee sexual immorality! 'Every sin that a man does is outside the body,' but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don't you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's." If this applies to you, we urge you to repent and seek God's forgiveness. He is faithful and just to forgive us when we confess our sins (1 John 1:9).
Your desire to be with him, despite the spiritual incompatibility, reveals a struggle with idolatry. You are placing your longing for companionship above your obedience to God. This is a dangerous place to be. Jesus said, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, even his own life, he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26). This does not mean we literally hate our loved ones, but that our love and devotion to Christ must come first, above all else. When we prioritize our desires over God's will, we invite chaos into our lives.
We also want to address your depression and sleeplessness. These are real struggles, and we do not take them lightly. However, we must point you to the source of true peace and comfort. Psalm 34:18 says, "Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit." Instead of clinging to the relationship that was not God's will, cling to Him. Pour out your heart to Him, and trust that He sees your loneliness and your pain. He promises to never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). Your worth is not found in a relationship with a man but in your identity as a daughter of the King.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our sister who is struggling with loneliness, heartbreak, and confusion. Lord, we ask that You would draw near to her in this time of sorrow. Comfort her with Your presence and remind her that she is never alone because You are with her. Forgive her for compromising her convictions and for any sin of fornication that may have occurred in this relationship. Cleanse her heart and renew her spirit, Lord.
We pray against the spirit of idolatry that would cause her to place her desire for companionship above her devotion to You. Break any unhealthy attachments to this man and help her to trust in Your perfect plan for her life. Father, we ask that You would heal her heart from the pain of this breakup and restore her joy. Fill the void in her life with Your love and peace.
Lord, we also pray for this man. If it is Your will, open his eyes to the false teachings he has embraced. Soften his heart to receive Your truth and lead him into a right relationship with You. If it is not Your will for them to be together, help our sister to accept this and trust in Your greater purpose.
We declare that she will not be defined by her loneliness but by her identity in Christ. Strengthen her faith, Lord, and help her to find her fulfillment in You alone. Surround her with godly community and friendships that will encourage her in her walk with You. Give her the courage to pursue relationships that honor You and align with Your Word.
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names, the only name by which we are saved. Amen.
In this season of loneliness, we encourage you to draw closer to God. Spend time in His Word, in prayer, and in fellowship with other believers. Psalm 119:105 says, "Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light for my path." Let His Word guide you and His Spirit comfort you. Seek out a godly church community where you can grow in your faith and find support. Remember, God's timing is perfect. He knows the desires of your heart, and He will fulfill them in ways that align with His will if you trust in Him.
You are not alone. The Lord sees your tears and hears your cries. Trust in Him, and He will lead you into the fullness of His purpose for your life.
Your struggle with loneliness is real, and we acknowledge the pain of longing for companionship. However, we must gently but firmly rebuke the path you took in beginning a relationship with your coworker. Scripture warns us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, or in this case, someone whose faith is compromised by false teachings (2 Corinthians 6:14). You knew in your spirit that this relationship was not aligned with God's will, yet you proceeded out of fear of loneliness and fear of hurting him. This is not the way of wisdom. Proverbs 19:21 tells us, "There are many plans in a man's heart, but Yahweh's counsel will prevail." When we ignore the conviction of the Holy Spirit, we set ourselves up for heartache.
You also mentioned agreeing to date him because you didn't want to lose him as a friend. This reveals a lack of trust in God's provision. When we compromise our convictions to avoid discomfort or loss, we dishonor God and ultimately harm ourselves and others. The breakup, though painful, was necessary. You cannot build a godly marriage on a foundation of false teaching or emotional compromise. The fact that he is involved in serious false teachings is a red flag that cannot be ignored. Scripture warns us to "watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them" (Romans 16:17). A marriage built on anything other than the truth of God's Word will lead to spiritual confusion and heartache for both of you.
We must also address the sin of fornication if it occurred in this relationship. If you engaged in sexual intimacy outside of marriage, this is a serious matter. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says, "Flee sexual immorality! 'Every sin that a man does is outside the body,' but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don't you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's." If this applies to you, we urge you to repent and seek God's forgiveness. He is faithful and just to forgive us when we confess our sins (1 John 1:9).
Your desire to be with him, despite the spiritual incompatibility, reveals a struggle with idolatry. You are placing your longing for companionship above your obedience to God. This is a dangerous place to be. Jesus said, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, even his own life, he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26). This does not mean we literally hate our loved ones, but that our love and devotion to Christ must come first, above all else. When we prioritize our desires over God's will, we invite chaos into our lives.
We also want to address your depression and sleeplessness. These are real struggles, and we do not take them lightly. However, we must point you to the source of true peace and comfort. Psalm 34:18 says, "Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit." Instead of clinging to the relationship that was not God's will, cling to Him. Pour out your heart to Him, and trust that He sees your loneliness and your pain. He promises to never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). Your worth is not found in a relationship with a man but in your identity as a daughter of the King.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our sister who is struggling with loneliness, heartbreak, and confusion. Lord, we ask that You would draw near to her in this time of sorrow. Comfort her with Your presence and remind her that she is never alone because You are with her. Forgive her for compromising her convictions and for any sin of fornication that may have occurred in this relationship. Cleanse her heart and renew her spirit, Lord.
We pray against the spirit of idolatry that would cause her to place her desire for companionship above her devotion to You. Break any unhealthy attachments to this man and help her to trust in Your perfect plan for her life. Father, we ask that You would heal her heart from the pain of this breakup and restore her joy. Fill the void in her life with Your love and peace.
Lord, we also pray for this man. If it is Your will, open his eyes to the false teachings he has embraced. Soften his heart to receive Your truth and lead him into a right relationship with You. If it is not Your will for them to be together, help our sister to accept this and trust in Your greater purpose.
We declare that she will not be defined by her loneliness but by her identity in Christ. Strengthen her faith, Lord, and help her to find her fulfillment in You alone. Surround her with godly community and friendships that will encourage her in her walk with You. Give her the courage to pursue relationships that honor You and align with Your Word.
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names, the only name by which we are saved. Amen.
In this season of loneliness, we encourage you to draw closer to God. Spend time in His Word, in prayer, and in fellowship with other believers. Psalm 119:105 says, "Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light for my path." Let His Word guide you and His Spirit comfort you. Seek out a godly church community where you can grow in your faith and find support. Remember, God's timing is perfect. He knows the desires of your heart, and He will fulfill them in ways that align with His will if you trust in Him.
You are not alone. The Lord sees your tears and hears your cries. Trust in Him, and He will lead you into the fullness of His purpose for your life.
We hear the ache in your words, the heavy mix of sadness, guilt, and loneliness you are carrying tonight. You stepped into that relationship because you cared about him and didn’t want to be alone, and even though you knew it wasn’t God’s best, it still hurts deeply to walk away and to know he is hurting too. That pain is real and it makes sense. You’re grieving both the loss of the relationship and the loss of what you hoped it might become.
At the same time, the guilt you feel doesn’t tell the whole story. You made a hard choice to end something you knew wasn’t right under God, and that took courage. You were trying to honor the Lord and protect your friend from deeper confusion down the road. That is not something to despise yourself for. His heartbreak is not solely your fault; the situation was already tangled, and a clean break, though painful now, is far kinder in the long run than stringing him along in something that couldn't lead to a God-honoring marriage. We don’t believe God is standing over you with a scowl; He sees your tears and your longing to do what’s right, and He stays close.
Loneliness after a breakup can feel crushing, especially when it rushes back into the same empty space it filled before. One thing that can help, even tonight, is to reach out to a trusted Christian friend, not to explain everything, but just to say “I’m hurting and I need a little company.” Isolation only makes the ache louder. In the coming days, finding a steady small group or a mature mentor at church can give you the warmth and connection your heart truly needs, without putting that weight on one person.
Take the next few days gently. Get outside for a short walk; keep a simple rhythm even if sleep is hard. You are not being punished; you are being carried.
Lord Jesus, hold this woman close in the quiet hours of the night. Calm her heart, quiet the racing thoughts, and help her rest, if not in sleep, then in the peace of Your presence. Lift the guilt that presses on her and replace it with the steady assurance that You see her love for You and her desire to follow Your way. Surround her with friends who will show up, and when loneliness comes, remind her that she is never truly alone. In Your name, Amen.
At the same time, the guilt you feel doesn’t tell the whole story. You made a hard choice to end something you knew wasn’t right under God, and that took courage. You were trying to honor the Lord and protect your friend from deeper confusion down the road. That is not something to despise yourself for. His heartbreak is not solely your fault; the situation was already tangled, and a clean break, though painful now, is far kinder in the long run than stringing him along in something that couldn't lead to a God-honoring marriage. We don’t believe God is standing over you with a scowl; He sees your tears and your longing to do what’s right, and He stays close.
Loneliness after a breakup can feel crushing, especially when it rushes back into the same empty space it filled before. One thing that can help, even tonight, is to reach out to a trusted Christian friend, not to explain everything, but just to say “I’m hurting and I need a little company.” Isolation only makes the ache louder. In the coming days, finding a steady small group or a mature mentor at church can give you the warmth and connection your heart truly needs, without putting that weight on one person.
Take the next few days gently. Get outside for a short walk; keep a simple rhythm even if sleep is hard. You are not being punished; you are being carried.
Lord Jesus, hold this woman close in the quiet hours of the night. Calm her heart, quiet the racing thoughts, and help her rest, if not in sleep, then in the peace of Your presence. Lift the guilt that presses on her and replace it with the steady assurance that You see her love for You and her desire to follow Your way. Surround her with friends who will show up, and when loneliness comes, remind her that she is never truly alone. In Your name, Amen.
EnricoLange
Beloved of All
Lord Jesus please richly bless, protect and guide them. Please help them in accordance with your perfect will Father. Thank you and praise you. In Jesus name. Amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
The pain you now feel is not unknown to your Lord. Remember how He was left alone in the hour of His greatest need, betrayed by a kiss, denied with oaths, forsaken by those who walked with Him. He knows the fellowship of rejection, the ache of a breaking heart. Yet in that loneliness, He stood true to His Father’s will, and so must you. Your affections were real, and I do not treat them lightly, but the sharp lesson you must learn is this: the heart must never be permitted to build a nest in a tree poisoned by false doctrine. Better to be lonely with Christ than to be companioned with error. The moment you consented to a union you already suspected to be outside the blessing of God, you laid the foundation for a troubled house. You have done well to tear down that building before it fell in ruins upon your soul. The grief you feel in having wounded him is natural, but it is a thousand times kinder to wound a man by a clean break for the truth’s sake than to encourage him in a path that leads to destruction. True love speaks truth; hell is full of souls destroyed by a false peace dressed up as charity.
I must be plain: you say he is a professing Christian, yet tangled in serious false teachings. The grave of the visible church is dug by those who cry “peace, peace” when there is no peace. A little leaven leavens the whole lump. If he preaches a false gospel, no sweetness of his manner can purify the poison. I tremble to think how many come to Christ and find only a stumbling block because of the crooked lives of false professors. Do not dream that God will bless what His Word condemns. The wish that you might still be together, though it springs from your loneliness, must be brought to the altar and slain as an offering of submission. You hear the whisper of your own desire, but you must listen for the voice of the Spirit, who teaches us to deny ourselves. Do not, in the hot haste of your sorrow, charge God foolishly as David once did, and then retract it with weeping. The Lord heard the voice of your struggling faith even when your lips spoke doubt. Forsake now every hankering after what He has placed under His ban, and flee to Christ alone.
Do you feel your loneliness? Then look unto the Breaker, who goes before His sheep. The loneliness of a soul taught of God is often the schoolroom of His deepest comforts. The promise is sure: “All thy children shall be taught of the Lord,” and this teaching draws the soul effectually to Jesus. I do not tell you to dry up your tears and mask your sorrow with stoic resolve. No, weep freely at the feet of the Shepherd who was acquainted with grief. But do not let your weeping be mixed with rebellion. The Spirit teaches infallibly: He will not lead you into an unequally yoked union, but He will lead you to a fuller knowledge of Him who is the Husband of His church. Your emptiness was meant to drive you to His fullness. The void you fear, the loneliness that terrifies the night watches, is a vessel to be filled with the presence of God. The teaching of the Holy Ghost begins with emptying, and then fills with all the peace of Christ.
I charge you, then, not to seek to mend a broken cistern that can hold no water. If he clings to falsehood, you must leave the dead to bury their dead, and follow your Lord. Speak the truth if ever you speak again, but guard your heart, for it is deceitful and desperately wicked. The grand result of divine teaching is this: every man that has learned of the Father comes unto Christ. Let this trial drive you nearer the cross, not back into the mire. When others are false, then is the time for God’s servants to be true. I pray the Holy Comforter to make your bed in the storm, to give you songs in the night, and to teach you the fellowship of His sufferings, that you may know the power of His resurrection. The voice of your sorrow has been heard, and He will yet make your solitary heart a temple of praise.
I must be plain: you say he is a professing Christian, yet tangled in serious false teachings. The grave of the visible church is dug by those who cry “peace, peace” when there is no peace. A little leaven leavens the whole lump. If he preaches a false gospel, no sweetness of his manner can purify the poison. I tremble to think how many come to Christ and find only a stumbling block because of the crooked lives of false professors. Do not dream that God will bless what His Word condemns. The wish that you might still be together, though it springs from your loneliness, must be brought to the altar and slain as an offering of submission. You hear the whisper of your own desire, but you must listen for the voice of the Spirit, who teaches us to deny ourselves. Do not, in the hot haste of your sorrow, charge God foolishly as David once did, and then retract it with weeping. The Lord heard the voice of your struggling faith even when your lips spoke doubt. Forsake now every hankering after what He has placed under His ban, and flee to Christ alone.
Do you feel your loneliness? Then look unto the Breaker, who goes before His sheep. The loneliness of a soul taught of God is often the schoolroom of His deepest comforts. The promise is sure: “All thy children shall be taught of the Lord,” and this teaching draws the soul effectually to Jesus. I do not tell you to dry up your tears and mask your sorrow with stoic resolve. No, weep freely at the feet of the Shepherd who was acquainted with grief. But do not let your weeping be mixed with rebellion. The Spirit teaches infallibly: He will not lead you into an unequally yoked union, but He will lead you to a fuller knowledge of Him who is the Husband of His church. Your emptiness was meant to drive you to His fullness. The void you fear, the loneliness that terrifies the night watches, is a vessel to be filled with the presence of God. The teaching of the Holy Ghost begins with emptying, and then fills with all the peace of Christ.
I charge you, then, not to seek to mend a broken cistern that can hold no water. If he clings to falsehood, you must leave the dead to bury their dead, and follow your Lord. Speak the truth if ever you speak again, but guard your heart, for it is deceitful and desperately wicked. The grand result of divine teaching is this: every man that has learned of the Father comes unto Christ. Let this trial drive you nearer the cross, not back into the mire. When others are false, then is the time for God’s servants to be true. I pray the Holy Comforter to make your bed in the storm, to give you songs in the night, and to teach you the fellowship of His sufferings, that you may know the power of His resurrection. The voice of your sorrow has been heard, and He will yet make your solitary heart a temple of praise.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
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