Silas
Beloved of All
Your prayer reflects a sincere desire to see God honored and to see this woman come to genuine repentance, and that desire itself is right before the Lord. The Scriptures you have been praying show you understand both His patience and His holiness.
God is indeed patient and His kindness is meant to lead us to repentance, and He is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. At the same time Scripture is clear that there is wrath and distress for every soul that continues in evil. That tension is why your prayers for warning and intervention are biblical. To ask God to hedge a way with thorns as in Hosea, to block paths that lead to idolatry and adultery, is to ask Him to do what He often does for those He loves, to make sin difficult so that a person may come to her senses as the prodigal did when he admitted he had sinned against God and was willing to take the lowest place. That kind of humility is the mark of godly sorrow.
There is an important distinction Scripture makes between sorrow and repentance. Worldly sorrow may feel regret or be sorry for consequences, but it brings death. Godly sorrow works repentance, and repentance always means a change. True repentance is not only hinting at sin or feeling bad about it, but confessing it plainly before God, turning from it, and walking in a new direction. Without that change there is no evidence of new life. If God truly makes a person holy and gives a new heart, that will be seen in a forsaking of adultery and sexual sin, which belongs only within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman, and in a willingness to walk in purity.
You are right to desire that this be addressed within the body of Christ according to Matthew 18 and with shepherds who will care for souls as those who must give an account. The Lord gave that pattern for restoration, not for punishment. When Jesus addressed the churches in Revelation, He called five of the seven to repent, which shows how quickly compromise and corruption can enter even among those who claim His name. We do not look to church history as our model, we look to Scripture and to the pattern in Acts where the church walked in purity and power. Part of that purity involves purging out what is impure, not to drive people away, but so that the whole body may be healthy and so that the one caught in sin may realize the seriousness of it and be restored. That work must be done gently and firmly, with an eye on ourselves lest we also be tempted, with reverence for God and His covenant, not with negligence, and with the goal that others also will fear sin and that the one being corrected might escape the snare of the devil and flee youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
It is also right that you are asking for wisdom and clarity. Paul prayed that believers would be filled with the knowledge of God's will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding so they may walk worthy of the Lord, and that love would abound with knowledge and discernment to choose what is excellent and be blameless. That is the prayer you need for yourself as well as for her. Ask God for that wisdom, for the fear of the Lord which is the beginning of wisdom and which teaches us to hate evil, and for a love that builds up rather than mere knowledge that puffs up. Stay close to those who have a pure heart and avoid those who have only a form of godliness while denying its power, who profess to know God but deny Him by their deeds.
For yourself, continue to pursue inner healing and wholeness through the Shepherd who restores the soul. He alone can bind up wounds and make whole what sin has bruised. Keep praying persistently as Jesus taught, and trust that God is working even when you do not yet see it, for He does give a hope and a future to those who turn to Him. At the same time, remain surrendered to His perfect will. You have prayed that if she is truly repentant and truly born again there could be a future together, and you have rightly noted that believers must not be unequally yoked and must walk in agreement and shared calling. Do not call clean what God has not cleansed, and do not move forward on the basis of promises alone. Look for the fruit of repentance unto life, for faithfulness to counsel, for holiness, and for a shared vision that is tested over time.
Guard your own heart in this season. Do not pursue or bless any relationship outside of God's design. Seek deliverance for yourself, for her, and for your family from temptation, from lies, from evil and from the evil one, and ask the Holy Spirit to bring conviction of sin, righteousness and judgment where it is needed. Fear God rather than man, for the fear of man is a snare, but those who tremble at His word find mercy. Continue to invite godly pastors and family to speak the Word with the sword of the Spirit, gently but without compromise, and commit the outcome to the Lord, knowing that He is compassionate like the father of the prodigal to all who truly return, and that He will do what is right and good in His time.
God is indeed patient and His kindness is meant to lead us to repentance, and He is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. At the same time Scripture is clear that there is wrath and distress for every soul that continues in evil. That tension is why your prayers for warning and intervention are biblical. To ask God to hedge a way with thorns as in Hosea, to block paths that lead to idolatry and adultery, is to ask Him to do what He often does for those He loves, to make sin difficult so that a person may come to her senses as the prodigal did when he admitted he had sinned against God and was willing to take the lowest place. That kind of humility is the mark of godly sorrow.
There is an important distinction Scripture makes between sorrow and repentance. Worldly sorrow may feel regret or be sorry for consequences, but it brings death. Godly sorrow works repentance, and repentance always means a change. True repentance is not only hinting at sin or feeling bad about it, but confessing it plainly before God, turning from it, and walking in a new direction. Without that change there is no evidence of new life. If God truly makes a person holy and gives a new heart, that will be seen in a forsaking of adultery and sexual sin, which belongs only within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman, and in a willingness to walk in purity.
You are right to desire that this be addressed within the body of Christ according to Matthew 18 and with shepherds who will care for souls as those who must give an account. The Lord gave that pattern for restoration, not for punishment. When Jesus addressed the churches in Revelation, He called five of the seven to repent, which shows how quickly compromise and corruption can enter even among those who claim His name. We do not look to church history as our model, we look to Scripture and to the pattern in Acts where the church walked in purity and power. Part of that purity involves purging out what is impure, not to drive people away, but so that the whole body may be healthy and so that the one caught in sin may realize the seriousness of it and be restored. That work must be done gently and firmly, with an eye on ourselves lest we also be tempted, with reverence for God and His covenant, not with negligence, and with the goal that others also will fear sin and that the one being corrected might escape the snare of the devil and flee youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
It is also right that you are asking for wisdom and clarity. Paul prayed that believers would be filled with the knowledge of God's will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding so they may walk worthy of the Lord, and that love would abound with knowledge and discernment to choose what is excellent and be blameless. That is the prayer you need for yourself as well as for her. Ask God for that wisdom, for the fear of the Lord which is the beginning of wisdom and which teaches us to hate evil, and for a love that builds up rather than mere knowledge that puffs up. Stay close to those who have a pure heart and avoid those who have only a form of godliness while denying its power, who profess to know God but deny Him by their deeds.
For yourself, continue to pursue inner healing and wholeness through the Shepherd who restores the soul. He alone can bind up wounds and make whole what sin has bruised. Keep praying persistently as Jesus taught, and trust that God is working even when you do not yet see it, for He does give a hope and a future to those who turn to Him. At the same time, remain surrendered to His perfect will. You have prayed that if she is truly repentant and truly born again there could be a future together, and you have rightly noted that believers must not be unequally yoked and must walk in agreement and shared calling. Do not call clean what God has not cleansed, and do not move forward on the basis of promises alone. Look for the fruit of repentance unto life, for faithfulness to counsel, for holiness, and for a shared vision that is tested over time.
Guard your own heart in this season. Do not pursue or bless any relationship outside of God's design. Seek deliverance for yourself, for her, and for your family from temptation, from lies, from evil and from the evil one, and ask the Holy Spirit to bring conviction of sin, righteousness and judgment where it is needed. Fear God rather than man, for the fear of man is a snare, but those who tremble at His word find mercy. Continue to invite godly pastors and family to speak the Word with the sword of the Spirit, gently but without compromise, and commit the outcome to the Lord, knowing that He is compassionate like the father of the prodigal to all who truly return, and that He will do what is right and good in His time.
