Blessing and Resources for Return Home

[Chrysostom]

Great is the profit of the divine Scriptures, and all-sufficient is the aid which comes from them. For what man of those who struggle with long poverty or who are nailed to a grievous disease, will not, when he reads of the paralytic who waited thirty and eight years, receive much comfort? He saw others delivered, yet himself bound; still he did not fall back and despair. He uttered no blasphemous word, he cursed not his day, but answered with great mildness, “Yea, Lord.” Learn the greatness of his sufferings: a heart crushed through long sickness, all violence subdued. If now at home, when galled by want and weariness, you attain not to be tempted into swearing or raging against God, you will in the market-place of life also have power to abide unconquered.

You cry out for a wife and children, and this desire is not impure: marriage is honorable. But the root of evils is often the love of money, which breeds impatience. Do not say, “I will marry when I have a large income,” for despair at the length of time readily becomes a snare. Rather, while you wait, keep your body pure and undefiled, that your future marriage may be truly honorable. The paralytic did not know who asked him, yet he hoped for a helper to put him into the water. Do you likewise: pour out your story to the Physician of souls, but ask nothing further than His will. When His servants advance, we gain honor; the Bridegroom knows His bride, and He will not tarry. Where holiness is, there is all confidence.

You say your talent, health, and will are crushed. But tribulation itself can become bright and lustrous if you endure. You have already reaped some fruit if you are freed from wickedness and made a servant unto righteousness. Serve now as you served sin, but with a far better Master. Be sober, vigilant, fervent in spirit; attend to every good work within your reach, even as a widow who diligently follows virtue. Do not let the hour’s unseasonableness turn you back: the sun may set on your hopes, yet Christ bids you follow Him as a friend, not as a stranger. The divine oracles are a treasury of all medicines: from them you may gain patience and comfort, that through patience and comfort of the Scriptures you might have hope.

 

[Anonymous]

Great is the profit of the divine Scriptures, and all-sufficient is the aid which comes from them. For what man of those who struggle with long poverty or who are nailed to a grievous disease, will not, when he reads of the paralytic who waited thirty and eight years, receive much comfort? He saw others delivered, yet himself bound; still he did not fall back and despair. He uttered no blasphemous word, he cursed not his day, but answered with great mildness, “Yea, Lord.” Learn the greatness of his sufferings: a heart crushed through long sickness, all violence subdued. If now at home, when galled by want and weariness, you attain not to be tempted into swearing or raging against God, you will in the market-place of life also have power to abide unconquered.

You cry out for a wife and children, and this desire is not impure: marriage is honorable. But the root of evils is often the love of money, which breeds impatience. Do not say, “I will marry when I have a large income,” for despair at the length of time readily becomes a snare. Rather, while you wait, keep your body pure and undefiled, that your future marriage may be truly honorable. The paralytic did not know who asked him, yet he hoped for a helper to put him into the water. Do you likewise: pour out your story to the Physician of souls, but ask nothing further than His will. When His servants advance, we gain honor; the Bridegroom knows His bride, and He will not tarry. Where holiness is, there is all confidence.

You say your talent, health, and will are crushed. But tribulation itself can become bright and lustrous if you endure. You have already reaped some fruit if you are freed from wickedness and made a servant unto righteousness. Serve now as you served sin, but with a far better Master. Be sober, vigilant, fervent in spirit; attend to every good work within your reach, even as a widow who diligently follows virtue. Do not let the hour’s unseasonableness turn you back: the sun may set on your hopes, yet Christ bids you follow Him as a friend, not as a stranger. The divine oracles are a treasury of all medicines: from them you may gain patience and comfort, that through patience and comfort of the Scriptures you might have hope.

I think the original poster asked for prayer, not advice.

We hear the deep longing in your heart, the weariness of waiting, and the ache for restoration. Your desire to return home, to provide for a wife and children, and to be a beacon of God’s compassion is beautiful and honorable. The Lord sees your pain, your crushed spirit, and your years of rejection. He does not turn away from the brokenhearted but draws near to them (Psalm 34:18). We stand with you in prayer, lifting your burdens to the One who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).

First, we must address the foundation of your plea. You call upon the Lord, but we must ensure that your faith is rooted in the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, for there is no other name under heaven by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). If you have not yet surrendered your life to Him, we urge you to confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead (Romans 10:9). This is the first and most vital step toward true freedom and provision, for in Christ, all God’s promises are "Yes" and "Amen" (2 Corinthians 1:20). Without Him, we are like branches cut off from the vine, unable to bear fruit (John 15:5). If you have already placed your faith in Him, we rejoice with you and pray for a fresh infilling of His Spirit to strengthen you in this season.

Your desire for a wife and children is a godly one, for marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God to reflect His love and faithfulness (Ephesians 5:22-33). However, we must caution against allowing this longing to become an idol that consumes your heart. The Lord knows the desires of your heart, but His timing and ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). We pray that He would purify your desires, aligning them with His will, and that you would trust Him to provide a godly spouse in His perfect timing. Until then, we encourage you to prepare your heart for marriage by growing in Christlikeness, serving your community, and walking in purity. Flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18), for your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). If you have struggled with impurity in the past, repent and seek the Lord’s cleansing, for He is faithful to forgive and restore (1 John 1:9).

Your mention of "suffocation" and "slow death" grieves us, for the enemy seeks to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus came that we might have life abundantly (John 10:10). We rebuke the spirit of despair and hopelessness that has weighed you down. The Lord has not forgotten you; He collects your tears in a bottle and records your sorrows in His book (Psalm 56:8). We declare that the same God who raised Jesus from the dead is at work in your life, breathing new life into your crushed spirit (Ezekiel 37:5). You are not defeated, for greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4). We pray that the Lord would restore your health, renew your strength, and revive your talents for His glory.

As you seek to return to your community and rebuild your life, we encourage you to trust in the Lord’s provision. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills (Psalm 50:10) and knows your every need (Matthew 6:32). We pray that He would open doors of opportunity for employment, housing, and financial provision, and that He would grant you favor with those who can assist you. But we also urge you to seek His wisdom in how to steward what He provides. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Do not grow weary in doing good, for in due season, you will reap if you do not give up (Galatians 6:9).

We also pray for your future marriage and family. May the Lord prepare you to be a godly husband and father, one who leads with love, humility, and wisdom. We pray for your future wife, that she would be a woman of noble character (Proverbs 31:10), walking in faith and purity. May your marriage be a testimony of Christ’s love for the Church, and may your children rise up and call you blessed (Proverbs 31:28). Until that day comes, we encourage you to serve as a spiritual father to those around you, mentoring younger men and demonstrating the love of Christ in your community.

Let us pray together:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother who has endured so much rejection, lack, and sorrow. Lord, You see his tears, his crushed spirit, and his deep longing for restoration. We ask that You would draw near to him, comforting him with Your presence and filling him with hope. Father, we declare that You are the God who makes a way where there seems to be no way (Isaiah 43:19). Open the doors for him to return to his community, providing the resources he needs to rebuild his life.

Lord, we pray for his health, both physical and emotional. Strengthen his body, renew his mind, and restore his spirit. Breathe new life into his talents and gifts, that he may use them for Your glory. We rebuke the spirit of despair and hopelessness, declaring that You are his refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). Fill him with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

Father, we ask that You would prepare his heart for marriage. Purify his desires, aligning them with Your will, and grant him patience as he waits for Your timing. We pray for his future wife, that she would be a woman of faith, walking in purity and wisdom. Prepare their hearts for one another, that their marriage would be a reflection of Christ’s love for the Church.

Lord, we also pray for provision. You know his every need, and we trust that You will supply all things according to Your riches in glory (Philippians 4:19). Open doors of opportunity for employment, housing, and financial stability. Grant him favor with those who can assist him, and give him wisdom in stewarding what You provide.

Finally, Father, we ask that You would use him as a beacon of Your compassion and grace in his community. Let his life be a testimony of Your faithfulness, drawing others to You. Strengthen his faith, deepen his walk with You, and fill him with joy in Your presence. We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, our Savior and Redeemer. Amen.

Do not lose heart, dear brother. The Lord is working even when you cannot see it. Keep your eyes fixed on Him, and trust that He will complete the good work He has begun in you (Philippians 1:6). Walk in obedience, serve faithfully, and wait expectantly for His promises to unfold in your life. You are not forgotten; you are deeply loved by the One who gave His life for you.

Brother, the closing prayer here is beautiful, and I don't doubt your heart. But notice what you placed in front of it: a question about whether he's truly saved, a warning that his longing might be an idol, and a caution about sexual sin he never mentioned. Are you trying to prophesy over him? He came asking to be prayed for, and he had to pass through three checkpoints before receiving the blessing. A man crying out to God from the depths doesn't need his ticket inspected. Next time, lead with the prayer. That was the best part.

 

[Anonymous]

To the brothers and sisters who wrote the longer responses here: this is offered gently, and I don't doubt anyone's heart.
Our brother came asking one thing: to be prayed for. Several of the fuller replies, for all their sincerity and learning, gave him something else instead. One made his salvation an open question before blessing him. One handed him an action plan and a diagnosis he didn't ask for. One told him his despair was a sin to repent of. One held up a better sufferer as his example, with warnings about money and purity he never raised. Each of these, in its own way, substituted an agenda - vetting, advising, reproving, exhorting - for intercession.

The psalmists poured out worse laments than his and were not corrected for it. Lament is prayer. A man who says he is crushed does not need his grief inspected, managed, or rebuked; he needs to be carried to God by people willing to simply carry him. The brief 'praying for you in Jesus' name' replies on this thread did exactly that, and did more for him than any paragraph of counsel.