Thynlan
Disciple of Prayer
Before I begin: Thank you so much for taking your time and answering me. I really really appreciate it; you don't know how. My ex and I broke up a year ago, more than a year. He tried to win me back very hard over a couple of months. But I turned cold and pushed him away. Then last year he found someone new in the church, and since then he is in a new relationship. Through friends, I know that he doesn't really love her and is still grieving over our relationship like I do. My friends told me to reach out to him because he wants a sign from the Lord. Yesterday I had a 3-hour phone call with our best friend. I told her that I might approach him again and what the best way is to do it. She and her husband immediately said just "surprise" him at home. So he has no other chance to face it or to overthink again... because he is very very anxious about me just like I am. But there was one part that made me very unsure about this all again... I thought that he is just with her because he can't be alone, and the timing was just perfect for him and her to find each other because we both were already finished, just like you said before. BUT He thinks (we are both Christian people) that God might have sent her to him because she is Christian, serving the same church, and is very business-focused like he is. He told our friend that "on paper" she can be a match for him, but well, the emotional side is not there. So he is so confused about what is the right thing to do or to say it better, which woman sees God for him? The part of missing me, having the desires with me, etc., is it from God or the devil? Was she sent from God or the devil? And without ego, I get that. I was in the same place like he was last year when he tried to win me back. And I was so sure that he wasn't the one, and God has someone else for me. Someone specific to be honest, but turned out that wasn't the case at all. So I don't know what your relationship is with God, and maybe you think now that's all BS, but all this makes everything more complicated. And a big problem was his time because he is trying to build a business, he has not so much time now. He still made a lot of effort to still make some time with me, but well last year, he had no chance to win me back. I was just so over it. But as I said, his new GF seems to be more easy now with all this. But she feels that he is still in love with me; she asked him if ### would be standing in front of your door, I'm sure I will be gone for you... So yeah, she knows what's up. But I'm so confused now!!! I don't want to get involved in a love triangle, and I don't want to prove him that I'm the right woman. I stood by him for 10 years. I was loyal and faithful the whole time, and it really really hurts me that a woman who is still and almost a stranger to him can question him, who is the right one? I get that he has fear to go back with me; I have the same, will the old drama start again and distract him from his life goals, did he let go of the wrong woman who God sent him, etc. But... oh well, sorry for the long text. But I'm SO SO SO confused and hurt, and I just want this nightmare to end. I'm so over it to be in between waiting or letting go. I have no fear to face him, but I have fear of the outcome. I don't want a man who is unsure about me, even when a lot of ego is also talking right now.
