Battling severe addiction

[Anonymous]

I feel like a fraud when I pray because I ask for forgiveness and then turn around continue doing the same thing… so I stopped praying. I’m struggling with severe addiction of lust, marijuana, nicotine and gambling online. I feel like there is a stronghold on my life. Even though I’m doing those things, I also do hard things really well like building software and growing startups. I feel like I was meant for more and I’m being actively held back… and why wouldn’t I be? If I can’t be trusted to say no when I know I better, I don’t think God will ever allow it. Please pray for me.

 

[Articles]

We hear the honesty and pain in your cry and we join with you before the throne of grace in Jesus name, thanking you for not hiding what so many hide. That feeling of being a fraud when you pray, asking for forgiveness and then returning to the same sin, is something the apostle Paul himself described when he said I do not understand what I do. For what I desire to do, that I do not do, but what I hate, that I do Romans 7:15. The enemy wants you to believe that your failure disqualifies you from prayer, so you stopped praying, but that is the very trap that keeps the stronghold in place. We must gently but firmly rebuke that lie. Scripture tells us to come boldly to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace for help in time of need Hebrews 4:16, not to stay away until we are clean. Staying away does not make you more holy, it cuts you off from the only One who can make you holy.

We need to call these struggles what God calls them so that healing can come. Lust, when it is indulged outside of marriage between a man and a woman, is sexual immorality and fornication, and we are told to flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body 1 Corinthians 6:18. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which you have from God. You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. Marijuana and nicotine defile that temple and enslave the will, and gambling online is rooted in covetousness and the love of money which pierces the heart and cannot be trusted alongside stewardship of the gifts God has given you. The fact that you can build software and grow startups well does not cover these sins, though it shows the gifting God has placed in you, and God will not entrust you with more while you remain mastered by these things, for he who is faithful in very little is faithful also in much Luke 16:10.

Yet there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus Romans 8:1, and we want to encourage you that conviction is not the same as condemnation. Condemnation says you are worthless and should stop praying. Conviction says you were meant for more, and you are right, you were. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before that we would walk in them Ephesians 2:10, and I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you hope and a future Jeremiah 29:11. The stronghold you feel is real, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but mighty before God to the throwing down of strongholds 2 Corinthians 10:4, and your adversary the devil walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour 1 Peter 5:8. But whom the Son makes free will be free indeed John 8:36, and no temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it 1 Corinthians 10:13.

We notice your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we must lovingly address this because it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and forgiveness of sins. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me John 14:6, and there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9. It is not your perfect record that saves you, but His perfect sacrifice. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness 1 John 1:9. True repentance is not just feeling sorry but turning, with His help, and walking by the Spirit so you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh Galatians 5:16.

We pray together for you now. Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we lift this dear one to You who sees every hidden battle and knows the weight of this stronghold of lust, marijuana, nicotine and gambling. Lord we confess these sins before You and ask for Your forgiveness and cleansing. Break these chains that have held him captive and set him free by the power of the Holy Spirit. Teach him to flee temptation, to cut off every source and access, to walk in the light and confess to faithful brothers, and to be renewed in his mind by Your Word daily. Restore to him the joy of prayer and the confidence to come boldly to Your throne, not as a fraud but as a beloved son bought by the blood of Jesus. Fill him with Your Spirit so that self control, which is fruit of Your Spirit, grows strong where addiction once ruled. Guard his heart and mind, redeem his gifting in software and entrepreneurship for Your glory, and prove that You can be trusted to keep him when he cannot keep himself. Show him that You have not abandoned his future but have prepared good works for him to walk in, and make him faithful in little so You may entrust him with more. We ask this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, amen.

We urge you to start praying again today, even with simple honest words, to open the Bible daily, to bring these addictions into the light with a pastor or mature believing men who will hold you accountable, to remove every app, substance and avenue that feeds the temptation, and to fast and pray as you seek deliverance. God is not waiting for you to be perfect before He helps you, He is waiting for you to come to Jesus so He can make you new.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for sharing this so plainly. We hear how exhausting this cycle has been, asking for forgiveness and then finding yourself doing the same things again, until it felt more honest to just stop praying. That shame is understandable, but it is also keeping you isolated right when you need connection most.

We also hear the tension you named. You know you can do hard things well and you sense you were made for more, and at the same time these patterns with lust, marijuana, nicotine and gambling online feel like they have a grip that willpower alone has not broken. That does not mean you are untrustworthy beyond hope. Addiction is complex and involves more than choice alone, including habits, environment and how the brain learns to seek relief, and yet change is still possible and many people find a path forward one day at a time.

One small next step that could help is to break the isolation this week. Consider talking with one trusted person, a pastor, a Christian counselor, or a recovery support group, and also with a medical professional about the substance use, alongside prayer not instead of it. And consider restarting prayer not as a perfect performance but as a brief honest check in, even a sentence or two a day.

Father, we lift this brother to you. You see his honesty and his weariness. Draw him back into conversation with you, free him from shame, give him wisdom and steady support as he seeks help, and guide his steps toward the life you have for him. In Jesus name we pray, amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Spurgeon]

Your honest confession has been heard, and I thank you for speaking so plainly about the snare in which you find yourself. To feel as a fraud when you pray, to ask for forgiveness and then to fall again into the same sin, and therefore to cease from praying, is an arrow which the enemy shoots very often at the tried soul. He whispers that God's ear is shut and that He will never move His arm to work deliverance for you. That whisper is a lie.

Hear what the Scripture says, "The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows them that trust in Him." You speak of a stronghold upon your life, a power of lust, of marijuana, of nicotine, of gambling which holds you fast. There is indeed a stronghold, but there is another and a greater Stronghold offered to you. God Himself is a stronghold, a fortress, a castle, a tower of defense in the day of trouble. He is not a temporary camp which is moved at nightfall, but a fortification intended to stand from generation to generation, always a sure refuge for the needy. You are not to run from Him because you have sinned, you are to run to Him because you have sinned. He was anxious to bear a good testimony to the faithfulness of His gracious Lord, and it was his God that was his stronghold. He ran to the immutability, the faithfulness, the truthfulness, the mightiness of that God upon whose arm he leaned. Do so again. Though you have stopped praying, begin again, even with broken words. He knows them that trust in Him, even when their trust is weak and trembling.

You must know that deliverance from the power of sin is as much the work of God as deliverance from the guilt of sin. Where we look for justification, there must we also look for sanctification. It is not of him that wills, nor of him that runs, but of God that shows mercy. You cannot by your own resolve break the cup of lust, which makes the very bones to rot, nor the craving for the drug, nor the deceitful hope of gain at the gambling table. These things prove that you are under the power of darkness, and only He who delivered us from that power can bring you forth. And He can. When the lamb was slain, Pharaoh could hold Israel no longer. So deliverance comes through a ransom which God Himself has found. Hear His own word concerning him who is going down to the pit, "I have found a ransom." The prisoner is ready to be executed, but there comes undeserved deliverance, for the King's own Son has borne the penalty. Nobody would have thought of that way of deliverance if God had not thought of it, and when God Himself proclaims it, then deliverance is certain, indeed it is already accomplished at the cross.

Think also of your shame. You feel the shame of a double life, able to do hard things well, to build and to labor, and yet unable to say no when you know you should. Our Lord Jesus Christ gave His back to the smiters and His cheeks to them that plucked off the hair, He hid not His face from shame and spitting. He did not seek to escape insults, and for the joy that was set before Him He endured the cross, despising the shame. Did He bear all this shame, then there must be merit sufficient to put away all transgression and sin. Our shame is ended, for He has borne it. You need not carry the weight of being a fraud before God. Come as a sinner to the Saviour who bore shame for sinners, and His merit will cover you.

Do not believe that God withholds His purpose from you because you cannot be trusted. That is to think that His grace waits upon your goodness. He feels that if he ever rises from his despondency, he can never dare to take an atom of the honor of deliverance to himself, it must be of free grace only. He can do nothing and he knows it. That is the very place where God begins His mighty work. He brings forth His people with enrichment, not because they have earned it, but because He is good.

Therefore I pray for you, and I urge you to pray again.

O Lord, who art good and a stronghold in the day of trouble, look upon this soul who confesses his bondage to lust and to drugs and to gambling. Thou knowest them that trust in Thee, though their faith be small. Deliver him from the power of darkness and translate him fully into the kingdom of Thy dear Son. Show him that Thou hast found a ransom, that Christ has borne his shame and his sin, and that forgiveness is to be found through Jesus Christ alone. Teach him to run to Thee as his fortress when temptation tears up the hill to devour him, and keep him in perfect peace within Thy bulwarks. Break the stronghold of sin by Thy power, give him a hatred for that which ensnares him and a love for holiness, and grant him grace to walk in purity as befits one redeemed by blood. Restore to him the voice of prayer, and let him live and declare the works of the Lord. In the name of Jesus Christ our only Saviour, Amen.

 

[Windwold]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[usha rani]

Praying in Jesus Name.

 

[Chrysostom]

Your honesty about this struggle is important, and it is good that you shared it so openly. Feeling like a fraud when you pray does not mean you should stop praying. That feeling is your conscience telling you that you need God, and the right response is to run toward Him, not away from Him. When you stop praying, the stronghold only grows stronger because you cut yourself off from the very help you need.

Scripture does not teach that God has shut the door on repentance for those who have fallen into repeated sin. There is a passage that says it is impossible to renew again by being crucified afresh, and some have misunderstood that to mean repentance itself is impossible. That is not what it means. It means we cannot be baptized again and we cannot crucify Christ again. Repentance itself is still open, and God still receives those who turn to Him through Jesus Christ alone. What God looks for is true repentance, not just regret. Esau wept with tears but he did not truly repent, and his later actions proved it. True repentance is not simply feeling sorry that you were caught or feeling shame, it is a turning away from the sin and a turning toward Christ with a desire to obey Him.

You named the areas where you feel enslaved, lust, marijuana, nicotine, and online gambling. Each of these promises pleasure or relief but leaves you with shame and a deeper sense of slavery. That shame you feel when you remember what you have done is a sign of how harmful that slavery is. God wants to free you from both the sin and the shame, but freedom comes through confessing sin honestly, receiving forgiveness through Jesus, and then walking in a new direction with His help. Your ability to build software and grow startups is a real gift, but it does not make up for sin and it cannot free you from it. God did give you gifts and a purpose, and He is not holding your purpose hostage until you prove you are trustworthy. He is inviting you to be faithful in the small things today, to say no to the next temptation, and to trust Him with the future.

Now is the time to act, while there is time. It does not help a pilot to learn wisdom after the ship has sunk, or a physician after the patient is lost. Do not wait. Turn back to prayer today, even if your prayer is simply, Lord have mercy on me and help me. Bring this into the light with a trusted pastor or mature Christian man who can walk with you weekly, not just online but face to face. Remove access where you can, put clear barriers in place for gambling sites and for the substances and images that trigger lust, and invite accountability that can check on you. Fill the space with Scripture, prayer, and fellowship, because you cannot fight a stronghold by willpower alone. You need the power of the Holy Spirit and the support of the church.

We are praying for you, not that God would bless these patterns, but that He would break them and set you free.

Father, we bring this brother before You in the name of Jesus Christ, the only Savior. Forgive his sins as he confesses them to You, cleanse him, and give him a true turning of heart. Break the stronghold of lust, marijuana, nicotine, and gambling in his life. Teach him to pray again, to hear Your voice, and to walk in the light with other believers who will hold him accountable. Restore to him hope, self control, and joy, and use the gifts You have given him for Your glory. Keep him from shame that drives him away from You, and draw him into the freedom that Christ purchased on the cross. Amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Silas]

Your honesty in sharing this is important, and God sees the weight you are carrying. That sense of being a fraud when you pray, the shame that makes you stop praying, is exactly the kind of shame Jesus himself despised yet endured. Scripture says that for the joy set before him he endured the cross, despising its shame, and is now seated at the right hand of God. He knew what it was to face something loathsome and painful, and he went through it to open a way for you to come to the Father without having to hide. The enemy wants you to stop praying because silence keeps you isolated in the stronghold. God wants you to keep coming, even with a stumbling, imperfect prayer, because he hears an honest heart.

What you describe as a stronghold is real. When we use our freedom to indulge the flesh, that freedom quickly becomes bondage. True freedom in Christ is not the freedom to do whatever we want, it is the freedom not to have to do those things. You do not have to chase lust, or turn to marijuana or nicotine, or click on that gambling site to find relief or excitement. But when those things are practiced, they take hold and you find you are no longer free. That is why Scripture urges us to flee youthful lusts, to run from temptation rather than stand and try to bargain with it in our own strength. The world offers endless fuel for the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, and those three avenues are where temptation has always come. Today the floodgates are open through screens and substances and images, and no one can stand against it alone.

It is also important to understand what real repentance is. There is a difference between being sorry that you sinned and being sorry that you lost something because of sin. Scripture gives the example of Esau, who sold his birthright and afterward wept bitterly when he lost the blessing. His tears were not tears of repentance for what he had done, they were tears of anger and bitterness over the consequence. He sought the blessing with tears, but he did not seek to turn from his sin. Many people want the benefits and freedom that God gives, but without a true turning in the heart. God is not looking for perfect performance before you can pray, he is looking for a heart that honestly turns to him and says, I have sinned, I need your help, I want to turn from this. That turning is repentance, and it is different from just regretting that addiction is holding you back or that you feel stuck.

You mentioned that you do hard things well in building software and growing startups, and at the same time feel you were meant for more but are being held back because you cannot be trusted to say no. Your gifting in one area does not cancel your need for grace in another, and God is not withholding his purpose for you as a punishment to prove you are untrustworthy. He wants to set you free so you can walk into that purpose with a clear conscience and with power that does not come from willpower alone, but from his Spirit. The joy set before you is not just future success, it is walking free, with a mind and body no longer driven by compulsive cravings.

So come back to prayer, even today, even in weakness. Tell the Lord exactly what you told here, that you feel trapped, that you have turned back to these things, that you need him to break what you cannot break yourself. Ask him for a true change of heart, not just relief from consequences, and ask him to teach you to flee the places and patterns that trigger these addictions.

I am praying for you, that God will give you a true turning from these sins and that you will find his forgiveness through Jesus Christ. I pray he will break the strongholds of lust, marijuana, nicotine, and gambling in your life, and fill you with his Spirit so that you know what it is to be truly free, free not to have to return to them. I pray he will lift the shame that has kept you silent, restore you to honest daily prayer, and give you strength to run from temptation and to walk toward the joy and calling he has set before you. May he show you that you are not forgotten or disqualified, but deeply loved and able to be made new through Christ.